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This index is not of every single Denny's in the world, but rather only those which I've personally visited. Follow the links to read full reviews (complete with photographs) of the Denny's visited during the trips listed. Cities given in the index are for the general area of the country, not necessarily the specific cities. If you like, you may also see these Denny's listed chronologically (in the order they were visited by me), or alphabetically by city and state.

Denny's #???? Nashville, Tennessee 22-Mar-96, 2:15pm CST 2304 Brick Church Pike, I-65 exit 7B at Trinity Lane (615) 228-1218

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries with BBQ sauce, Root Beer with Cherry Sauce; Amie - Italian Melt, Fries, Coke
• Nobody seems to know what Denny's store number this is. There was no plaque on any walls that I could see, and they had some funky computer system that didn't print it out on the check (as most Denny's do). I even called back and nobody knew. I'll keep trying. Anyway, it seemed that everyone who came in the door worked there. When we came in, a cook was eating at the counter, and as we were eating, people just walked in, then wandered around behind the counter and in the back room. At least they like it enough to be there on their off-time, I suppose. It should be noted that the cook had no teeth.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Meal Stickers

Denny's #0002 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 11:05pm PDT 1826 Las Vegas Blvd. South (702) 384-5624

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tim
• What we ate: Nothing
• What an amazingly cool Denny's. It's got the old old style sign, but it's lit up in neon. It's also across the street from the Stratosphere Hotel/Casino. And, it's got the lowest Denny's store number so far in this project - Number TWO! As it turns out, though, it's not the second Denny's ever - all of the Denny's in existence were renumbered quite a few years back. Still, Vegas is one of the first cities to have Denny's, and it's pretty fun to get such a low number regardless.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Omelet Menu

Denny's #0004 Los Angeles, California 17 April 1999 2:11am PDT 7373 Sunset Blvd. (213) 876-6660

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Kim Zaninovich, Gil
• Wait-person(s): Iman
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy (with a side of mayonnaise), Hashbrowns, Biscuits and Gravy, Coffee, Water; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Water; Kim - Mozzarella Sticks, Dinner Salad, Grilled Cheese w/ Tomatoes, Water; Gil - Dinner Salad, Club Sandwich, Seasoned Fries, Water
• As is my custom, I'm writing the review of this Denny's several months after the actual visit. I can barely remember what happened this morning in my house, let alone late one drunken night in another city. On top of that, my notes from this night are very hard to read. I guess I'll just have to make do.
• This was my second time to LA in my life. Amie's college friend Kim lives there, so we flew on up for a visit. I was extremely disoriented and I felt out of place the entire time. Don't get me wrong; I'm usually like that, but this time even moreso. I couldn't get over the fact that a vast majority of the people and places we saw seemed to be just in the business of looking good and being cool. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I guess I'm just a midwest small town boy at heart. Oh, well.
• I should state that Kim was a wonderful hostess, and had nothing at all to do with my mood. It's the city. I know that if you're in the entertainment industry the city can suck the living soul out of your pores and then spit it back up your rectum, but even as a visitor who had nothing to gain or lose from the city, I got a sense of that. Then again, maybe I just need to get out of the house more.
• But moving on... After we left Kim's Apartment (passing by the ashtray in the lobby with the "no smoking" sign stuck in it), we went to the Viper Room. Apparently this is the place where River Phoenix died. It was fun, tho'. They had some goofy fun 70's cover band. Trite, I know, but fun nonetheless. Afterwards we went to the "Rock 'n Roll Denny's" on the strip.
• I have in my notes that there were people singing in the back section, that there was a music store near by (where Gil took classes at one time), that Amie would have preferred Moons Over My Lack Of Hammy (so why didn't she just order eggs, cheese, and toast?), that the waitress didn't write any of our order down but got it all right anyway, that there were pimps there, that it was the cheapest Denny's in the area, that some guy passed out in a booth behind us, and that we had a discussion of White Castle and their Chicken Rings (which I think are wonderful as a concept and a product), and that White Castle fries only come in one size.
• As we left to hail a cab (I actually remember this a bit), there was some sort of commotion with some guy pulling up in his car, getting out and pounding on the newspaper boxes, and generally just screaming about something or other. After a bit, the Denny's security and some real cops were chasing him and yelling at him. The guy ran across the street and into a neighborhood. A short while later, a cop car came squealing down the street and tore around the corner after him. It's like living theater right in front of your eyes.
• WAY: some of the customers
• Free Stuff: Two (2) Travel Guides (it took a while to get them, too)

Denny's #0038 Monterey, California 20 October 2000 5:20pm PDT 755 Abrego St. (408) 372-3077

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jose
• What we ate: P7A77 - Charleston Chicken Ranch Melt, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Chili Size Burger, French Fries, Iced Tea
• On the drive to this Denny's we passed through the Big Sur area, which has the type of scenery of which everyone takes photos, but also has this big rock with a farmhouse on top and a big muddy field of cows in front. I'm not sure why, but something about that appeals to me.
• Talk about your classic restaurants. This is one of the few REALLY old signs I've seen, and it might even be one of the original Denny's logo designs. The manager wasn't sure when the restaurant was opened, but he said a few weeks previous a customer was in who said he had worked on the plastering for the building back in 1961, so that's the best guess they have for it. All I know is that this Denny's is so old, it doesn't have a Lounge, it has a Tavern. I'm hoping Denny's #0001 has a Saloon.
• Jose was great. The food we wanted was on the Lunch Special menu (only available at the discounted price until 4pm), but he gave it to us anyway. We're still not sure what size is "chili" size for a burger, tho'.
• In case you were worried that humanity might have a chance at survival after all, you were wrong.
• WAY: Regular Customer in Bar (name unknown)
• Free Stuff: ZOOB Menu Insert

Denny's #0070 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 12:20pm MST 3217 E. Van Buren St. (602) 275-1552

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Dorothy
• What we ate: nothing
• This place ain't exactly in the most tourist-friendly part of town, but that's okay, because I've rarely found a friendlier wait staff. Based on my brief encounter, if I lived in the area I would make this a regular weekend breakfast location. I would've eaten here except I had over a dozen to visit and I wasn't hungry yet. Gotta pace myself.
• Dorothy informed me that this location is the original Phoenix Denny's. In fact, it's so old that it was originally a Danny's Donuts. Wow.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered Pin

Denny's #0113 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 10:00pm PDT 2545 E. Fremont St. (702) 384-7441

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Erlinda
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke; Amie - Coke
• Things were hectic at this Denny's, what with the large crowd, apparent lack of servers, and people complaining about stolen bikes. We were hoping to find directions to the varios Vegas Denny's, since we wanted to make sure the Casino Royale Denny's was our hundredth. Our waitress didn't seem to have the best grasp of the English language (but she was very friendly, so we didn't hold it against her), which only complicated things. Luckily, the manager, Richard, was more than helpful. He gave us very good and complete directions to all the Vegas Denny's, and gave us some pretty groovy free stuff.
• Too bad I didn't win at the slot machines.
• WAY: No (but they did have someone who looked like Gallagher)
• Free Stuff: Suggestive Sell Cards (for employees), Denny's Lapel Pins

Denny's #0116 Nogales, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 4:15pm MST 683 N. Grand Ave., I-19 exit 8 (520) 287-4572

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joanne
• What we ate: P7A77 - Strawberry Milkshake; Amie - Vanilla Milkshake (tho' she ordered chocolate)
• We had hoped that this Denny's would be right on the border, but it was a few miles north. Lucky for me that Amie speaks Spanish, because she was able to tell me what everyone was saying. We figured it'd be too difficult for us to try to explain what Project:Denny's was all about, so I opted to pocket something. I was bein' all slick and casual, slipping the pepper shaker into my hand while reaching for my shake. All was going smoothly untill I dropped it on the table, resulting in a loud 'thud'. So much for bein' suave.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Pepper Shaker (stolen)

Denny's #0139 Agoura, California 19 October 2000 9:35pm PDT 29145 Canwood St. (818) 991-2393

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Cheesecake; Amie - Vanilla Shake
• I was planning on making the El Monte visit the last for the night (we were going to spend the night in Ventura, on the other side of Los Angeles), since we were getting a bit tired by this point, and not much exciting was happening at any of them anyway. Then I saw this sign in the distance and recalled how a friend of mine had ranted and raved about how cool it was and how there was this ball at the top with a bunch of lights on it and stuff, and figured if I didn't stop then I'd get yelled at when I got back to Tucson. He's right, it IS a cool sign, much like Denny's #0002 in Las Vegas, Nevada, across from the Stratosphere and also the one in Las Cruces, New Mexico. I was disappointed the top light-ball part of the sign was either turned off or burned out.
• I'm glad we stopped because I was in the mood for dessert and that cherry cheesecake was mmm-mmm tasty. Unfortunately, while the sign and food were great, nothing for free here. I went through my usual ordeal, to which they asked if I was on a scavenger hunt. I said yes, of sorts, and they said they're not giving anything away for the scavenger hunt. It seems there was some sort of local thing going on. I tried to tell them that I wasn't part of that, but by then it was too late. So damn you to whatever group it was that soured Denny's to giving away freebies! You owe me some ZOOBS.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0141 Las Vegas, Nevada 26-May-97, 12:45am PDT 3397 Las Vegas Blvd. South (702) 733-8707

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cindy
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Quesadilla with No Guacamole and extra Sour Cream, Large Strawberry Banana Orange Juice; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Coke
• This is it. The one-hundredth Denny's for this project. And, as far as I'm concerned, quite an appropriate one to symbolize cheesy excess. They were pretty busy here, too, but our waitress was still all smiles. She was also quite good at upselling food. Even though they were busy, we got our orders very quickly. When we were finished, it took a while to find someone to talk to for free stuff, and I was prepared to leave, but Amie suggested we hang out for a while. And it was worth it. I got me a free Save the Children handprint tshirt. Now I can pretend like I've had little kids run their hands all over my chest. The trip to Vegas was well worth it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Save the Children tshirt

Denny's #0145 Baldwin Park, California 19 October 2000 8:25pm PDT 14550 Baldwin Park Towne Center (626) 338-0217

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Mary (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• I don't have very good night vision. So searching for Denny's while driving in heavy traffic on a five-lane highway with short off-ramps isn't the safest thing in the world for me to be doing. I'm not really sure why I felt it was necessary to drive in one of the left lanes while doing this, nor why I thought it was a good idea to suddenly cut across several lanes when a Denny's was spotted, just barely making it to the off-ramp, which involved driving pretty much perpendicular to it, since we had already missed the turn-off.
• Mary was good-natured about my visit (I didn't bother to tell her I almost killed a pile of people on my way in). I think she was just trying to get me out of there quickly, as there was a bit of a condescending tone in her perky attitude. When I asked for something for free, she turned to a waitress (who was busy doing something else and not aware of what was going on), asked for her "suggest the feature" pin off of her shirt, and gave it to me. The waitress was a little taken aback. I think for a second she thought she was being fired.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pin

Denny's #0168 Effingham, Illinois 17-Mar-96, 1:15pm CST 1307 N. Keller Dr., I-57 exit 159 (217) 342-4543

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Chris
• What we ate: Coffee
• The Terre Haute Denny's had helped me adjust to the time difference, and this Denny's finished it off. This was perhaps the wackiest Denny's from this trip. Not only did they have a Weird Al working for them, but he was a manager, and he was there at the time. I even got a picture with him. The waitresses told us that they like to call each other "goon", and Kevin, the manager, was the high goon ("Heil the High Goon"). Kevin was so cool, in fact, that he gave us a free name tag without us even having to ask for anything. The cook, however, seemed to be just generally annoyed by us, and kept throwing us dirty looks.
• WAY: Yes (Kevin, the High Goon)
• Free Stuff: Denny's Balloon, "Trainee" Name Tag

Denny's #0251 Colorado Springs, Colorado 21 January 2000 8:30am MST 315 W. Bijou St. at I-25 (719) 634-4955

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Mary Jo
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns, Biscuits & Gravy, Coffee; Amie - Bagel & Cream Cheese, Water; Jon - Water
• Jon was being a big grumpy poo-poo head by this point. Okay, sure, he was stuck in the back of the car, but he was also sleeping most of the time, and Amie and I drove the whole way (instead of the planned three shift pattern). Of course, part of the reason I volunteered to drive the rest of the way was because I knew Jon wasn't going to be too keen to pull over every five minutes at Denny's. Plus, it meant that I got to pick the music.
• This is actually the second Denny's off I-25 headed north through Colorado Springs. None of them give any warning, though, so we missed the first one. But it, like Albuquerque and Las Cruces before it, would be visited on the return trip.
• Some random notes: The waitress was very eager about the skillets and even made smacking noises as she tried to sell them to us. Amie blew cigarette smoke in my face, my reaction to which seemed to amuse the person sitting across the aisle from us. When we asked for something for free, they told us to go to 7-11 (I'm still not sure why).
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0278 Redlands, California 19 October 2000 7:20pm PDT 1180 Alabama Street (909) 798-2475

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Denise
• What we ate: nothing
• I was so very excited when Denise gave me a handful of coupons. I thought maybe our funding for the rest of the trip would be greatly supplemented. It turns out they're only for the Denny's in Redlands. If anybody wants some, give me a call.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Coupons

Denny's #0284 South San Francisco, California 21 May 2002 3:50pm PST 2220 Westborough Boulevard (650) 873-0252

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Matt (general manager), Mariano (the other manager), Ross (our server), Susan (server), Crissy (server), Bob (the Cook), Maria (the New Girl)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sampler, Rootbeer (w/ Cherry Sludge); Dave - New & Improved! T-Bone Steak Dinner (medium), Iced Tea; Branson - nothing; Omar - Chicken Strips (w/ Honey Mustard), Sprite; Craig - Tuna Melt, Iced Tea
• It was on the way to this Denny's that Dave started to realize what he had gotten himself into. Ha-ha, he probably had previously thought to himself, we'll take a fun morning going around visiting Denny's. It'll be a hoot. I don't want to say I told him so, but, well, I told him so. The Oakland Denny's had put a sour mood in the air, and we had a ways to go before the next one. Since vintage luxury cars don't run on vegetable oil, we had to gas up before going over the bridge. Then we noticed a lot of gasoline was dripping from underneath the car, but the people at the rental place said it was normal. I don't think, at that point, anyone would have minded being engulfed in flame and molten metal, anyway. Of course, we got lost on the way to the Denny's. We had initially thought of going to six area restaurants, but by now we all agreed that four would probably be more than enough. It was getting to be quite a long day.
• And then we arrived. Several of the staff greeted us at the door. Everyone was extraodinarily friendly. The food arrived quickly and was cooked to perfection (we were so full from the other Denny's we couldn't finish it all, but it did taste very good... kudos to Bob). Not only did I get my usual Rootbeer with cherry sludge, but they let me mix my own. I was able to get the employees to do a "SLAM!" sing-along with me. Even the restrooms smelled good. And not only was there a WAY, but it was the general manager! Score! And oh, the booty we collected! Now, okay, granted there were maybe three other customers in the entire restaurant, and they knew we were coming, and they knew they'd be on the teevee... but as Oakland proved, that don't guarantee squat. Matt was the type of manager who would have joyously gone along with all the shenanigans anyway. It warmed my heart that a Denny's that would have been a good visit regardless was able to be the highlight of this special trip. It sure did lift our spirits for the last leg of the journey. Craig said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in San Mateo county.
• So one more shout-out to the fine staff at the South City Denny's. We owe ya one.
• WAY: Yes (Matt, the General Manager)
• Free Stuff: Three (3) Daytime Menus, One (1) Late Nite Menu, (1) Zoob Dude, One (1) Denny's Desk Clock, One (1) Denny's Calculator, One (1) Denny's Watch, One (1) Booster Seat

Denny's #0289 San Luis Obispo, California 20 October 2000 11:35am PDT 1460 Calle Joaquin (805) 543-7220

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Barbara
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sampler; Amie - Coke
• This is a teeny-tiny little Denny's with one of the older signs, but inside had a Diner conversion. The game where you put in a dollar and a claw comes down and almost grabs an item that's way too heavy for the weak springs in the claw to ever withstand so you put in another dollar and try again and almost get a hold of the edge but it slips away and so you put in another ten bucks and still don't end up getting a fifty cent toy but it doesn't matter because you're drunk and waiting for a table was filled with "scary" Hallowe'en-themed toys. Things like ghosts and masks and witches and stuff. And a Britney Spears doll. I don't think this needs any more comment.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Table Display

Denny's #0296 Oakland, California 21 May 2002 1:40pm PST 601 Hegenberger (415) 638-9632

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Kia
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Coke; Dave - Moons Over My Hammy (w/ Hashbrowns), Iced Tea; Branson - Coke; Omar - Club Sandwich (w/ French Fries), Strawberry Shake; Craig - Vanilla Shake
• They let me drive to this one! Okay, not really. But they did get footage of us inside the car. And in case you were wondering, those seats were awfully comfy. Nice, smooth leather. And when you pushed down on them, it was nothing but cushion. Not too firm, not too soft. It even had armrests. I'm sure some of my appreciation was from being blinded by the brand, but so damn what? It totally ruled the school.
• Unfortunately, this Denny's did not. Kia was great, but that's because she hadn't worked there long and didn't know any better. The manager was a little grumpy at our presence, even though they weren't very busy and we were being quiet in the back corner. She had to call somewhere to make sure it was okay for us to be there. Still, since we were on the teevee, I thought I'd try to get some good stuff. I asked for a rack of water glasses. An entire rack. She didn't seem terribly pleased with that idea. I think she thought she was under instruction by Denny's HQ to do whatever I said, as she had the look of "do I have to?" in her eyes. Any other time she would have laughed in my face. Finally, she produced an entire rack of wine glasses. Wait a minute, you're probably saying to yourselves, they don't serve wine at Denny's. Yes, sillies, that's why she was able to give me a rack of the glasses.
• Kia, through it all, was a good sport, and helped us ham it up for the camera. Craig said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in Alameda county.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: One (1) Menu, One (1) Rack of Fourteen (14) Wine Glasses

Denny's #0337 Denton, Texas 18-Mar-96, 10:35am CST 4007 I-35 (817) 382-9033

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• Even though this Denny's was extremely busy, they were very friendly with me, especially considering I wasn't buying anything. Ah, Denton, the Home of Happiness. A fitting city to end a 24-hour trek across the country.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "Save the Children" Button

Denny's #0349 Barstow, California 12 October 2001 10:45am PDT 1201 East Main Street (760) 256-0022

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandra
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Parmesan Sandwich (w/ french fries), Water; Amie - Bagel w/ Cream Cheese, Fresh Fruit Bowl, Coke
• We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the hunger began to take hold.
• Sandra was friendly and attentive, but it was difficult to understand what she was saying. But then, it's usually difficult to understand what I'm saying, so that's okay. Amie flicked a wadded up straw wrapper at me (while I wasn't looking, even... the nerve), but missed and just barely missed grazing the ear of the guy sitting in the booth behind me. I was too busy admiring the big cardboard pies in the display by the register to pay it much mind.
• The bagel was burned on both sides, and the fruit - initially forgotten by Sandra - was only some bananas with strawberry sludge. Hardly "fresh". My sandwich was delicious.
• Sandra was a little too weirded out by us to feel comfortable handing over a cardboard pie and summoned her manager, Micki, who unsuccessfully tried to pan Sandra off to us (this has happened a few times to me... maybe it's in the manager training guide). Amie did a bit of her smooth-talkin' and was able to get a cardboard pie out of the deal. Huzzah.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: cardboard pie

Denny's #0374 Las Cruces, New Mexico 23 January 2000 8:25pm MST 740 S. Main St., 2 miles north of I-10 (505) 524-0791

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Dinah
• What we ate: P7A77 - Rainbow Sherbet Vanilla Shake; Amie - Moonquake Shake (banana, coffee, and chocolate sauce); Jon - Strawberry Shake (with real strawberries)
• Well, hell. This is one difficult Denny's to find. We missed it on the way up (we got on Main Street too far north, and by the time we realized it, it was too late), so we took the main freeway on the way down, and looked for Main Street. No main street. Once we got out of town we figured we had gone too far, so we drove back the initial way we had gone through town, but this time took Main Street the other direction. Then it ended and became Water Street (or something). Then it was Main Street again. And there was the neon Denny's sign. In the old-style text. A rarity, to be sure.
• Dinah was almost more waitress than we could handle. Meaning, she was great, not that she was overly large or anything. She not only offered to make us custom shakes (mainly because she wasn't sure what they had and didn't want to check), but she suggested the "Moonquake" variety to Amie. How 'bout that! I figured I'd be able to get some really keen free stuff out of her, but I think I crossed the line from "cute & quirky" to "goddamned annoying", because she finally just gave me her Employee Safety Bingo Card to get me the hell out of there. Sorry, Dinah.
• Still, though, a satisfactory coda to a Denny's-filled weekend.
• WAY: Bob (cook)
• Free Stuff: Employee Safety Bingo Card
• Video: Mile High Club Part VII (~5.3MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #0392 Gilroy, California 12 October 2001 4:20am PDT 8425 San Ysidro Avenue (408) 842-7678

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tania
• What we ate: P7A77 - Triple Play Deal (eggs o/e, wheat toast), Coffee; Amie - All American Slam (wheat toast), Orange Juice
• I think we're officially old. Well, Amie is, anyway. This trip was from San Jose to Las Vegas for two reasons. One, we live in San Jose. Two, Amie went to high school in Las Vegas. So what? Who cares? We were going there for her ten year High School Reunion. Bwahahah.
• We woke up bright and early around 3am, fell asleep during our respective showers, and hit the road. We detected a faint garlic smell, looked up, and saw the Denny's sign. Looked across the highway at a bank sign, and it read 4:20. The gods, they do smile upon us.
• The place had a strange vibe to it. Well, not strange so much as long forgotten. It was the feeling of the place gets after the hump of the overnight is over, when the truckers are coming in for a jolt of coffee, and the employees are a bit punchy. Tania was prompt and attentive, taking us to our seats right away, and returning with our drink orders immediately. But she screwed up who got which drink, so we knew our moment in the sun was over.
• As faintly indicated by the commercials, the $3.99 Triple Play prices and participation may vary. $5.99. Welcome to California. It also didn't taste so good. The sausages were a bit weird. I had trouble cutting my ham, when Amie pointed out that it's easier to use a knife and I should put down the fork. She was right. No matter, the ham tasted weird, too.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Night Menu

Denny's #0404 New Castle, Indiana 17-Mar-96, 10:30am CDT I-70 & State Route 3 (317) 987-7099

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lori
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee; Amie - Moons over My Hammy ("This is definitely the messiest thing in the world to eat"), Coke
• This Denny's was quite busy. It was also a bit weird for me, as it was the first Denny's in a long time where I was there during the daylight hours. The attitudes of the staff were definitely quite different than those of graveyard shift. They seemed a bit put-off at having to deal with freaks this early in the day. They also couldn't quite understand why I would have my own Denny's mug. Lori, our waitress, was sort of impressed and confused by my quest. She never seemed to quite get a handle of what was going on.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Raspberry Nestea coaster (given), silverware set (stolen)

Denny's #0440 Carte Madera, California 21 May 2002 11:50am PST 5839 Paradise Drive (415) 924-9202

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar, Craig
• Wait-person(s): Marla
• What we ate: P7A77 - Veggie Cheese Omelette (w/ grits & wheat toast), Milk, Orange Juice; Dave - Original Grand Slam (sunny side up), Coffee, Orange Juice; Branson - Original Grand Slam (over easy), Hashbrowns, Orange Juice; Omar - Grand Slam Slugger (lightly scrambled, w/ grits), Milk, Orange Juice; Craig - All-American Slam, Hashbrowns, Orange Juice
• You may be wondering by now what the hell is going on here. Well, I'll tell ya.
• One fine morning (and it was really fine), the crew from KPIX's Evening Magazine stopped by my apartment to do a segment on this whole wacky cesspool of untempered fascination we lovingly refer to as Project: Denny's. I told them that they didn't really want to do that. They said they did. I told them I knew better. They insisted. Then they told me about the car. And the CBS Credit Card. I asked when we could start.
• First they wanted to get a sense of the scope of the whole thing, and have me display some of the swag I've gotten from previous visits. So I set some up. Then I set up the rest. Then I thought about how a lot of the stuff I've gotten has been thrown or given away. Then I reflected upon my adult life. Then I wept quietly to myself.
• But by now it was too late. So we hopped in the Rolls and headed on up north to Marin. We thought yeah, ha-ha, fancy car in front of Denny's, so much ironic humor abounds. Then we got there. Leave it to the fine folks in Marin to have a Rolls Royce dealership across the street from Denny's. Still, that didn't stop them from giving me the red carpet treatment.
• Our waitress, Marla, was pleased as punch to be part of our segment. She even recognized Branson (the cameraman). I think we made her a little nervous. Understandably so. But she was the epitome of good service. Perky, attentive, friendly, and prompt. I got the feeling she would have been that way even if the camera hadn't been there. But hoo-boy she sure did try to sell the camera on the Denny's in Corte Madera. As Dave (the Emmy-winning producer) said, "the service is so good, it's almost scary."
• The food, as is to be expected by a Denny's really trying to look good on television, was possibly the best I've ever tasted at a Denny's. The omelette was light and fluffy and just packed with veggies. The grits were a nice consistency. As Omar (the chauffeur) noted, however, the orange juice was rather watered down. But Craig (the chase-car driver) said it was the best Denny's he'd ever been to in Marin county.
• All in all, a good Denny's with which to start the day.
• WAY: Yes (Terry, no longer employed)
• Free Stuff: Three (3) Sets of Power Rings, Two (2) Daytime Menus, Three (3) Keychains, One (1) Grand Slam Slugger Pin, One (1) Personalized Name Tag

Denny's #0482 Tulsa, Oklahoma 18-Mar-96, 2:00am CST 11720 E. 11th St. at I-44 (918) 437-3586

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Angela
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries w/BBQ sauce, Coke; Amie - Coke
• Our waitress never seemed to quite get the hang of us, which is odd for a graveyard shift worker. They're usually used to freaks and weirdos, and I would think that they'd be relieved that we weren't the big burly drunk variety of freaks and weirdos, but rather the friendly happy hippie sort. Anyway, she seemed intrigued overall, and practically hovered over us as we ate. Maybe she liked the way we smelled after being in a stuffy van for 18 hours. It was a bitch to get free stuff out of them, and even though we tried to get an orange juice carafe, we had to settle for some styrofoam take-out boxes. The Coffee "Vacket" was cool, tho'.
• WAY: Yes (Jehad "Jijo" - unit aide [not quite a manager, but close])
• Free Stuff: Take-out Menu, Styrofoam Box and Cup, Denny's Coffee "Vacket"

Denny's #0492 Phoenix, Arizona 23-May-97, 5:20pm MST 2801 N. Black Canyon (602) 252-3745

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Anna, Steve
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy with Mayonnaise, Hashbrowns, Coke; Amie - Chicken Quesadilla with no Guacamole and extra Sour Cream, Coke
• Even though I had Anna make a special trip to get the mayonnaise for my sandwich, I forgot to put it on until I was almost finished. I was probably distracted by the ham, which was in the process of scalding the hell out of my tongue. Ironically, the hashbrowns were perfect - a rarity in the world of Denny's hashbrowns, as I'm sure many of you are aware.
• And if you were wondering why I was in Phoenix in the first place... well, it was my first stop on my way to glorious Las Vegas, Nevada, where I was planning on visiting my one-hundredth Denny's for this project! Woo woo! More on that later.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Menu Insert

Denny's #0495 Reno, Nevada 1 October 2005 11:45am PDT 680 N. Wells Ave. (775) 322-9039

• Attendees: P7A77, Scott
• Wait-person(s): Allie
• What we ate: P7A77: Grand Slam (eggs scrambled), water; Scott: Fabulous French Toast Platter, Large Orange Juice, Coffee
• And so back to Reno and poker. I was riding high on all my recent wins at smaller casinos and home games, so figured I was unstoppable. My first few hours in town confirmed this. Did what I expected, was able to pay my share of room and gas immediately. Nice start, gonna be a good weekend.
• Ha. I'll spare the gory details, but suffice to say I played poorly, got pissed about it, and kept throwing money at it. This is what many affectionately refer to as "tilt". And what sucks is I knew I was doing it, but there was nothing else to do. The whole point of the trip was poker with no distractions, and I was already down heavy almost from the start. It was a horrible, gory, disgusting scene.
• I was able to finally settle the hell down and do a slow crawl at the Eldorado for the long haul. I was doing pretty well at it, not going up too much, but not going down, either. Then the table rotated and some drunk guy who kept getting drunker decided I was his buddy, and I was too tired to realize I was getting distracted. I didn't lose to him, but I lost to others, and he won a lot. He had a good drunk style, and yes, I believe it was for real. He seemed to like to drink enough to have his drunk late night techniques worked out. Can't really blame him, it was my own fault for losing, but oh well. Next morning was even more pain and suffering. Thankfully we were scheduled to leave that evil stinky place.
• At the concierge I politely inquired as to the location of Denny's. The guy got a bit of a snooty look. Uh, hello dude, this is Circus Circus, you're not exactly high brow. So the guy tells me there's a Carrow's near by. Okay, nice, where's the Denny's? Well, as it turns out, if I go down such-and-such street and get to the Carrow's, if I turn left, Denny's will be another block down. I confirm the directions, omitting the landmark reference. He says again, "yeah, it's right by the Carrow's." Okay, guy, I get it. Don't judge me!
• I arrived at Denny's an empty man. Don't we all, at one point or another? Scott, on the other hand, was the big winner of the weekend, yay for him. The Denny's itself was standard. A waitress came up to us, looked at us, smiled, and walked to the table next to us without a word. Nice. Once the staff determined we were good enough to dine with them (what, they think they're Carrow's or something?), the waitress they sent over was very smiley and friendly. I figured she was new. You can tell who has the life-force sucked out of them from prolonged exposure to Denny's clientele. Besides, with the turnover at most of these places, practically everyone is a trainee all the time. Everything old is new again.
• I had trouble finding the Grand Slam on the menu. There was the Lumberjack Slam, all shiny and photogenic, but no original Grand Slam. I got a bit panicky. I wanted to close out this suite of entries with the classic breakfast, but it was nowhere to be found. Plus, I was fairly broke, and a man's gotta eat. Allie ultimately pointed it out to me, way on the bottom in the corner, tiny little print. They sure don't want you buying the cheap stuff. Scott chose the Fabulous French Toast Platter over the not quite as fey as the French Toast Slam... well, okay, they're more or less on par there. He remarked that they were, indeed, fabulous, sister. Snap.
• Again, they were way too busy to deal with my questions. I hate weekend morning shift.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #0525 Schiller Park, Illinois 8 March 1999 5:00pm CST 4824 N. River Rd., near airport (847) 678-5556

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Salvador
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Quesadillas (no guacamole, extra sour cream), Coke; Amie - Mozzarella Sticks, Water
• After we placed our order and Salvador left our table to enter it in the computer, he returned to ask me if I wanted tomatoes and peppers in my quesadillas. I wasn't aware that this was an optional item. But I told him that, yes, I would like everything except for guacamole. Amie pointed out to me (after he left again) that he had gangbanger tattoos on his arm. She said that the waitress at the previous Denny's also had them. I'm not sure what gangbanger tattoos are supposed to look like, so I just believed her and didn't question how she knew this. This Denny's took the longest with our food out of any of the Denny's we visited on this trip, and we only got appetizers. Finally, the manager (not Salvador) delivered our food, but he first took it to a different table. My quesadillas were soggy and had guacamole.
• Salvador brought us our check, but we told him that we wanted to order some lemon merengue pie. He went off to get the pie. A long while later he came back and told us that he forgot to get the pie. Then a while later he came back and told us they were out of it. It seems that every time I order it, they're out. So we got keylime. Salvador finally delivered the pie and looked at our check several times. Then he left. I figured, hey, free pie. But as we went to the register, he remembered and charged us for it. Damn.
• The reason we were in this area in the first place was that I was going to be flying back to Tucson that night. That made me sad, because as it so happened, March 8 was our first wedding anniversary. On the way to the Denny's I saw an iMac bus, so that made me a bit happier. Those who know me know why I find the merging of those two things especially fun and good.
• But the real adventure came after the Denny's. For those who don't know or don't remember, the weekend I was in Chicago was the weekend of the big freak snowstorm that hit the area. Remember how I was complaining about how cold it was? Well, getting eight inches of snow didn't lift my spirits any. Actually, it seems that whenever I go on a trip these days, some sort of weather disaster happens. When I went to Miami, hurricane Georges hit. When I went to Atlanta, it was unseasonably cold and rainy, and now a blizzard. I'm telling ya, people should pay me not to go places. Anyway, even though I knew the blizzard was imminent, like the moron I am I didn't call ahead to see if the flight schedule was altered. My flight was cancelled. The storm hit when we were in the airport, so we got to make the drive back to Aurora in fresh snow during rush hour. What is usually a 40 minute drive tops expanded into several hours. We got to watch trucks spin out of control in front of us. Happy freakin' anniversary.
• But aside from the stress of driving in a snowstorm, I was very happy to be able to spend an extra day with Amie. Yay!
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: All Dogs table display (stolen)

Denny's #0533 Joplin, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 9:10pm CST 3602 Range Line Rd., I-44 exit 8-B (417) 781-8724

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Saundra
• What we ate: Nothing
• Nothing much to say about this Denny's, except that we slept in the parking lot for a few hours before pushing on forth into Oklahoma. We were very happy that nobody broke into our van and killed us. If you don't want to get killed while sleeping in a Denny's parking lot, this is the place to go.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's greeting card

Denny's #0611 Dayton, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 10:00pm EDT 1135 S. Main, across from Montgomery Fairgrounds (513) 228-2716

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Julie
• What we ate: P7A77 - Delidinger, Hash Browns, Coffee; Adder - Southern Slam, Eggs Scrambled; J-R - Club Sandwich; Kasey - Ultimate Omelet, Biscuit, Coffee
• The goal was to go to the Springfield Denny's and then to Rocky Horror in Dayton, but the bus started to overheat on the way, so we had to cut our trip short. We were already running late, and since I was performing that night in the show, we couldn't afford to waste time. We decided to go to Springfield another time, and went to this Denny's instead (which we were planning on going to after the show). The whole staff was in some sort of crazy goofy mood. They were very friendly and let me call Mary the manager in Springfield to let her know that we wouldn't be able to be there that night (she was waiting for us). When she found out who we were calling, Julie (out waitress) raved and raved about her (Mary). A different Mary - this one a trainer at this Denny's - turned out to be the sister of Susan at the Centerville Denny's. It's all just one big happy family. Our Weird Al of the evening, Tina (who is also our first female Al), apparently had dropped a sandwich in some split pea soup earlier in the evening. Mary (the trainer) also dropped and broke a glass while we were there. If you go to this Denny's, don't take anything valuable with you.
  The whole staff was greatly amused by our quest. As it turns out, the Centerville Denny's had phoned ahead to let them know that we would be there after Rocky Horror (which was our original plan), and they were surprised to see us there so early. (always keep 'em guessing, that's what I say) They dubbed us "Denny's Bums" and gave us nothing but a friendly attitude and great service.
• WAY: Yes - Tina
• Free Stuff: Undetermined (I forgot to write it down)

Denny's #0661 Indianapolis, Indiana 17-Mar-96, 11:40am CDT 5251 West Bradbury, near Airport, off Airport Exwy. at Executive (317) 247-4117

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Laura and Rachel (twins)
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's was quite busy as well, and I still hadn't quite adjusted to the fact that I was attending Denny's during the day. I was able to corner Laura and Rachel (the twins) into answering my questions, though. They were a bit frightened, but generally amused. They gave me a Denny's travel directory, and a Denny's PR pamphlet regarding the allegations of racism a couple of years ago.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Travel Directory, Denny's FAQ

Denny's #0677 St. Louis, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 3:30pm CST 1515 S. Hampton Ave, I-44 & Hwy 40, near Zoo (314) 645-1754

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Dade
• What we ate: P7A77 - $1.99 Grand Slam (eggs o/e), Wheat Toast, Coffee, Large Orange Juice; Amie - $2.99 Burger Basket, Fries, Water
• This Denny's was exceptionally busy, especially considering the time of day it was. Maybe all the green beer from St. Patrick's Day was making everyone hungry for Grand Slams. Then again, maybe not. It took a while to get service, and Dade, our waiter, was a bit boring at first. He warmed up later on, though. He was the Weird Al lookalike of this Denny's, and when we asked if he was a manager, he said he turned down the position because he didn't want to work 60 hours a week for a measly $22,000 a year. What a guy. It's good to hold on to your ideals like that. This Denny's also had a Baskin' Robbin's inside. It was also the first Denny's that had a waiter (as opposed to a waitress) since I started this quest.
• WAY: Yes (Dade)
• Free Stuff: Flagstar Brand Vomit Clean-Up Kit (complete with bio-hazzard bag)

Denny's #0690 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 9:20pm CST 515 N. Watson, Hwy 360 exit Watson Rd. (817) 640-6050

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt
• Wait-person(s): Carissa (waitress) and Robert Walker (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• Robert is perhaps the best Weird Al match so far. Sure, he's fatter and balder, but he has the moustache, the glasses, the goofy look, and the attitude. He also gave us our first orange juice carafe. What a guy.
• WAY: Yes (Robert Walker - manager)
• Free Stuff: "Pedro" Pin, Orange Juice Carafe

Denny's #0717 Glen Ellyn, Illinois 6 March 1999 3:40pm CST 750 E. Roosevelt Rd., 1/2 mi. west on I-355, exit Roosevelt (630) 469-3080

• Attendees: P7A77 - Keylime Pie, Water; Amie - Coffee
• Wait-person(s): Jamie
• What we ate: P7A77 & Amie - Keylime Pie
• We sat at the counter and I spotted a label in the pie rack for strawberry rhubarb. Yay! Alas, the labels lie. They didn't have it. So I ordered keylime. Still good, but not as good as strawberry rhubarb, which I've actually never seen served in Denny's. Must've been discontinued ages ago. If this is the case, it's my opinion that it, like the Garden Fresh Skillet before it, should be brought back.
• We thought Jamie would be kind of cool and fun, but it turned out he was a bit on the slow side. Oh, well. On the good side, when we asked if there was an employee who looked like WAY, Jamie just said, "Oh, Dwayne?"
• The manager seemed a bit lethargic, and in retrospect, I think it might have been Manager Lee. Those who know this Denny's should know what I mean.
• I should perhaps take the extra space in this brief review to mention that Amie was in Aurora on business and I flew in to visit. Our initial plan was to spend the weekend in Chicago visiting various architectural sites, but the both of us had hell-awful weeks at our respective jobs, so we ended up sleeping most of the day and not even getting within the city limits until it was dark. We weren't really feeling in a Project:Denny's sort of mood anyway. I blame the snow.
• WAY: Dwayne
• Free Stuff: Harlem Globetrotters Adventure Pack

Denny's #0718 Miamisburg, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 5:50pm EDT 7990 Springsboro Pike, next to Dayton Mall (513) 433-5056

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Tanya
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Root Beer with Cherry Sauce; Adder - Southern Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Water; J-R - Root Beer Float, Fries (split with Kasey); Kasey - Root Beer Float, Fries (split with J-R)
• This was the first Denny's trip in over three months, so we were rather excited about it. Unfortunately, the staff at Denny's didn't seem to share our enthusiasm. We all knew what we wanted to eat (of course), but the hostess ignored my request to not have a menu. I tried to ask her a few questions, but she didn't seem too inclined to answer them. Tanya, our waitress, was a bit friendlier, as she had only been working there a week and didn't know any better. We made her slightly nervous. For some undisclosed reason, we had quite an extensive wait before we saw even our beverages. It should be noted that the waitress did not approve of my particular blend of root beer and cherry sauce. This disapproval was exemplified by the fact that she charged me SIXTY FIVE cents for the cherry sauce. I've always gotten it for free and wasn't able to talk them out of charging me. To their credit, they did get a bit friendlier towards the end, even though they still charged me for the cherry sauce. They refused to give us anything for free, so we took a discarded steel pole (with some concrete still on the end) that was sitting by the dumpster.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Pole (stolen)

Denny's #0816 Springfield, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 7:45pm CST 2823 Glenstone, I-44 exit 80-A, right on first service road (417) 866-1921

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke with cherry sauce; Amie - Coke
• We had been on the road for almost twelve hours (including stops) by the time we got here, and we were getting a bit tired. Our evening was brightened, though, by a large family sitting near us. They seemed rather put off by my choice in hair colouring, and were pointing and laughing. I thought about getting a picture with them, but not only were they large in number, they were also large in size, so I opted to instead get a photo with my soda.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin

Denny's #0823 Langhorne, Pennsylvania 13 August 2004 11:00am EDT 640 E. Lincoln Hwy. (215) 757-1115

• Attendees: P7A77, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): Josephine
• What we ate: P7A77: Veggie Cheese Omelette, Hashbrowns, English Muffin, Water; Lindee: Philly Melt, Seasoned Fries, Water
• So the guitarist for my favoritest band in the whole wide world - Phish - decided, "hey, I don't feel like practicing or playing well any more, so let's just break up." I, being a slobbering fanboi, immediately booked passage to the last leg of their last tour EVAR. Two shows outside of Boston, one outside of Philadelphia, and a two-day festival in northern Vermont. I reserved a fast car with no top for the trip from Philly to the festival, and I secured my plane tickets, but outside of that I was winging it. Well, I had plans to meet up with various people who promised me transportation, but we all know how those things usually work out.
• Took the redeye from Oakland to Boston, where I met up with prak, a gentleman who fears his soul will be sucked out of his eye sockets should his face be captured on film. I had never met him in person before (and obviously hadn't seen a photo), so how was I to recognize him at the airport? I looked for the guy who seemed prak-ish in nature, of course. It helped that he was wandering around in a prak-like manner looking for me. It helped more that he was late and I was the only person sitting at baggage claim. It helped still yet even more that he was one of the elite few who received a Project: Denny's t-shirt and chose to wear it (and as you can tell from the faded yellow in the photo, he's worn (or at least washed) it a lot). I was wearing my old-skool Denny's logo shirt, so we must've looked like a convention. A scary, greasy, borderline serial killer convention.
• It was a beautiful weekday morning in Boston, and I had never been, so we wandered around downtown a bit. And lemme tell ya something... Bostonians (at least the white collar workforce) are a grumpy bunch. I don't understand it. They get to walk around one of our oldest and most charming cities on a gorgeous day, and they're all scowling. I smilled at everyone I could, and not one returned it. Maybe I've been made soft by left coast living, because people in the SF Bay area smile back! They say hello! They acknowledge your existence! I mean, if YOU saw a tall happy dude with a giant backpack lumbering down the street with a big dopey grin, wouldn't you at least be mildly amused? Not these folks. Oh well. Who needs 'em! They don't even have a Denny's anywhere nearby. Maybe that's why they're grumpy.
• Lacking Denny's, we traveled by bus, foot, and train to Sunny's Diner, a little hole in the wall behind a gas station near one of those higher learning institutes they have out there. For some reason they have Simpson's memorabilia plastered everywhere. For some other reason, I didn't get photos of any of it. I had the spinach and feta omelette; prak the Gentle Giant. It was all delicious.
• From there prak hung out with me at the train station where I kicked his ass at Gin Rummy before boarding the commuter line down to Mansfield, a city with no Denny's, and the site of the first shows. I had plans to meet up with two random dudes who were giving me lodging and a ride to Philadelphia, Nick and Willly. Note the "what the fuck?" look Willy shot me. I like that about him the best. We hung out in the lot and commenced lot-type activities. After grabbing the obligatory New England Phish show Hood photo, we went into the venue. Lodging for the night was Willy's girlfriend Noah's house in Providence (another town with no Denny's), where I slumbered on the most uncomfortable couch in the world, at least for someone of my rather lengthy frame trying to sleep. There was also a notable lack of hot water. Good times. And I mean that sincerely. My hosts were quite gracious and even warmed up to my Clif Bars after a while. Or at least pretended to.
• Time to geek out for a minute here. I'd been going to Phish shows for ten years, and I had never seen my favorite "small" song, Suzy Greenberg. I plugged all my shows into a site that tracks stats, and it was top of the list of songs I should have seen already, with a 1.8% likelihood of not having seen it based on whatever it is they base those things on. Since all my stories have happy endings, astute readers not bored to tears by my Phish blathering have probably figured out that they busted out with it in Mansfield. Second night, second song, and it just tore shit up. My first Suzy, the last Suzy. As soon as the first notes started up, my undivided attention was on the music, grin solidly planted on face. Tight, fun version, with a little "curtain call" reprise afterwards. A fitting final version of the song, and I was pleased to get it out of the way so I wouldn't be itchy about it for the rest of the tour. Oh, and I totally called the Antelope second set opener.
• And now the plans started to fall apart. Nwickilly were skipping the Camden show and heading straight up to Vermont. They were willing to give me a ride to Philly anyway, in exchange for my extra ticket for the sold-out festival, but getting out of the lot that second night was insane. Nobody was moving and time was ticking down. To cut to the chase, we woke up some people to check transit schedules and prices, and I ended up taking Amtrak from Providence to Philadelphia, the commuter rail from there to the airport, then a taxi to the Motel 6. As I was checking in, the woman at the counter asked if I was there for the show, and put me in a room next to other people in town for same. And it was even room 420, dude. Well, okay, room 421. Close enough for a silly reference. And check this out, the motel was right next to a Denny's! Bet ya thought I wouldn't get around to that, eh? Well, hold your horses because I didn't eat there yet.
• Taking advantage of my room placement, I hit up the guys next door (Justin, Dylan, and Kibbel... I may be wrong on that last one... at least I hope so) for a ride to the show, which they gladly gave me in exchange for my purchasing for them some beverages of a certain distilled nature. Lordy, but I'm getting old. They regaled me with tales of cooking moonshine in the hills of West Virginia and seemed in awe of my first shows, as they've become historically significant. Lordy, but I'm getting old. They happened to be from Beckley, which is the town where Das Büs broke down and required a new transmission back in the day. It's also the name of my cat. I lost track of them in shakedown street, so I picked up a new pipe (going out of business sale! everything must go!) and headed in. I didn't take my camera that day, which sucked because the venue was right on the waterfront, with a beautiful view of the bridge and Philadelphia skyline. At one point I saw a woman taking photos and freaked her out because she thought I was busting her for having a camera, but no, I just wanted her to take a shot and send it to me. The file name she assigned was "who is this guy.jpg". You can't see the bridge or skyline, but you can see me doing I don't even know what with my hands.
• After the show I wandered around the lot advertising gas money and a free meal at Denny's for anyone willing to give me a ride. Tim and Sam took me up on my offer and proceeded to get lost driving around New Jersey until we finally made our way over the bridge. Bet ya think I'm going to talk about Denny's now, right? Shows what you know, because they merely accepted gas money and went on their way. I hung out with the Beckley guys for a bit and then took full advantage of having a mattress for a change.
• Next morning I shared a cab with a guy to the airport, where I was meeting up with Lindee and renting a car for the trip to Vermont. And one of the first things we did was... wait for it... EAT AT DENNY'S. I had the veggie omelette to celebrate the veggie burritoness of the lot scene. The english muffin was for New England. Lindee's Philly melt for obvious reasons. And all of this I'm just making up right now. My hashbrowns were raw and the english muffin wasn't toasted. What the meal lacked in quality it at least made up for in quantity. They get bonus points for garnishing with parsley. As this was my first Denny's trip in almost two years, I was out of practice and forgot to get any photographs. We snagged one in the parking lot.
• See? And you thought I'd never get around to the Denny's part. Have faith in me, dear reader. I may tease, but I know where your g-spot is.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Summer Deal Menu Insert

Denny's #0825 Oak Park, Illinois 6 March 1999 5:35pm CST 711 N. Harlem Ave. (708) 386-6964

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Mike (manager)
• What we ate: P7A77 - French Fries (to go)
• Amie sat in the car, so she doesn't get credit for this trip. I wasn't terribly hungry, so I just got french fries to go. There were a bunch of poorly colored leprechauns pasted on the Mother Butler display. While I was waiting for my order, two people walked in (not together) for the sole purpose of using the phone. Seemed a bit odd at the time. I noticed that this Denny's closes at midnight. Stinking bastards.
• But that's not important. What is important is that we had a great time hanging out with Josh (formerly "The Bear"), Chad, JCR3, and Jern. Josh has got a pretty fun apartment in the "Ukranian" part of Chicago. Here is a picture of Amie navigating the cold icy stairs. It's worth noting here that Josh and Chad, who were big social revolutionaries in college, now currently have the most corporate sellout jobs of us all. Actually, that's probably not true, but it seems that way because of how vocal they were at the time. Real Life will do that to ya.
• The big fun of this trip was the morning breakfast at Daisy's. It was suggested that I do a Project:Daisy's page, but I forgot to get photos inside the restaurant. Standard greasy spoon sort of fare. I had the chipped beef and eggs. I wasn't sure what chipped beef was, but it sounded good. I'm still not sure. I think it might just be hamburger meat cooked to taste like sausage. I tried to order biscuits and gravy, but everyone else yelled at me when I mentioned it. They pointed at the big sign that said they serve biscuits and gravy 'til 11am and that they cost $2.50. Okay, fine, I was okay with paying the $2.50. But then someone pointed out that it was well past 11am. Damn. I was really looking forward to them, too.
• For some reason, the waitress decided that I really like ashtrays, because she kept pushing them in my direction. I think I had three or four by the end of the meal. I wasn't even smoking. The cook had a bit of a cold. She coughed into her hand and then proceeded to pick up food. Fabulous. I would definitely eat there again.
• And if you really feel the need to see a photo of this Denny's, here it is. But trust me - it looks the same as two thousand other Denny's in the world.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: take-out menu (lousy, but appropriate)

Denny's #0827 Kingsman, Arizona 23-May-97, 9:30pm MST 3255 Andy Devine (602) 757-2028

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lori
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee; Amie - Water
• Finally, a Denny's of which to be proud! Our waitress, Lori, was a smartass to us from the get go. When we asked where we were ('cause after a few hours on a desert highway, we weren't too sure), she first said "I don't know - you tell me," but quickly followed with "You're in hell." We liked her from the start. The place was pretty busy for what seemed to be a fairly small city, and was populated with a decent cross-section of society. It may have been hell, but with the surroundings and endless refills of coffee, I was happy there.
• As I was sitting and drinking my coffee, I saw that they were serving a large number of dinner items. And, as we all know, a large number of dinners means a large number of dinner rolls. I thought I might try my hand at sweat-talking them into giving me something substantial, since I was practically fed up with kids menus and crayons. I offered Lori a quarter if she'd snag me one. She refused. Then I struck up a conversation with Kurtis, the bus-boy. He said he would be willing to, but it was his first night there and he didn't want to get in trouble so soon. So I worked on Lori some more. She was about to reach into the warmer and snag one for me, but at the last minute she lost her nerve. Then, finally, my savior. Another waitress, Sheri, walked by and I offered her the quarter that Lori refused to earn. Well, not only did she do that, but she went and got me butter, too! Yee-haw, Sheri! You're one of the good ones!
• It was the best dinner roll I've ever tasted.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Dinner Roll, Butter, OJ Carafe Insert

Denny's #0844 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 3:07pm MST 9030 N. Black Canyon Hwy. (6020) 944-7970

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Bill (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• I walked in and was pleased as punch because I saw the manager, Bill, and he was a definite WAY. He was helping a customer, but he glanced up at me and got this little grin on his face. But he seems the type to always have a grin on his face, so I thought nothing of it.
• Then it was my turn to be helped. I started to go into my bit, and Bill asked me if I had that web page. !!! Nobody has EVER recognized me from the pages. Well, okay, I did get recognized at Macworld SF 2001, but I was wearing my jacket with all my Denny's pins and I had a big name tag that said "P7A77", so it only sort of counts. But I wasn't wearing anything to tip him off, and he seemed to recognize me before I even started asking questions. And to be recognized by the WAY of the visit is just icing on the cake.
• I think my excitement over all of this is a big blinking neon sign with sirens and fireworks that I need to find another hobby.
• WAY: Bill (manager)
• Free Stuff: Denny's Cap

Denny's #0845 Villa Park, Illinois 6 March 1999 4:20pm CST 202 W. North Ave., 1/2 mile west of Rt. 83 (630) 279-1379

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Ramero, Naz
• What we ate: nothing
• This Denny's had a bit of a bad layout. Lots of wasted space in the lobby. Ramero didn't speak English very well, so he passed us on to Naz, who tried to give us a crayon and a kids menu, but we held our ground, so after he went in the back room for a while, he eventually gave us a funky-styled name tag out of him. In spite of the time, we didn't smoke some tasty bud.
• Continuing with the visiting Chicago train of thought, even tho' our plan to visit the city went unfulfilled, we were also meeting up with friends of ours. A friend of mine from college (and co-founder of Project:Denny's) now lives in Chicago, and other friends were up visiting, so we were going to catch up with each other and relive our youth. Standard recent-graduate sort of stuff.
• WAY: undetermined (they didn't know who WAY was)
• Free Stuff: Name Tag

Denny's #0853 Springfield, Ohio 13-Jul-96, 10:00pm EDT 2209 S. Limestone St. (513) 324-3320

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Phil Stewart, JT Tartarra, Jan Warren, Rachel Weidinger, Josh Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Kera and Carol
• What we ate: P7A77 - Super Bird, Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Root Beer with Cherry Sauce, Coffee; Adder - Southern Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Coke; J-R - Denny Burger Combo, Seasoned Fries, Caesar Salad, Sprite; Phil - Shrimp Dinner, Corn, Water; JT - Play It Again Slam, Eggs Over Easy, Hash Browns, Large Orange Juice; Jan - Denny Burger Combo, Garden Salad with Ranch Dressing, Water; Rachel - Grilled Cheese, Fries, Vegetable Soup, French Vanilla Coffee; Josh - Super Bird with Extra Tomato, Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Coffee, Water
• We finally made it to Springfield! Better late than never, I suppose. We loaded the bus up with a fresh crowd, went to Adventure Golf again, then headed straight to Springfield - no stops. Mary (the manager) was wise this time and didn't wait there for us, so we tried to give her a call. Unfortunately, the hostess (Kera) wouldn't give me Mary's phone number. I suppose that wise for security reasons, but I'm a nice enough guy. No matter, because Carol (our waitress, who bore a striking resemblance to Phil Donahue) knew what was up and gave Mary a call.
  This is an old-style Denny's (the best kind, as far as I'm concerned), and the staff reflected that sort of charm that you expect to go along with that. Once Mary showed up, she took us all to the back of the store where she presented us with not one toilet.. not two toilets.. but two toilets AND a sink. Wow. They had recently remodeled the employee washroom and had this stuff lying around. Mary and her friend (who went by the moniker "Truck") were both good ol' Harley-Davidson kind of folks. As if the toilets weren't enough, the whole trip was worth it just to hear a large bearded man wearing a Harley shirt and named 'Truck" say something to the effect of "I wanna see this online soon." Break those stereotypes! Yee-ha! All kidding aside, I'm the last one to judge by appearance (unless the appearance is that of a clean-cut beer-drinkin' date-rapin' frat-boy type, but hey.. nobody's perfect), and Mary and Truck were both great. (Plus, I know they're going to read this, and Truck is significantly larger than I am.)
  It should also be noted that the sausage and gravy were very good (according to Adder), and this Denny's actually had parsley (a garnish that is becoming increasingly rare at Denny's).
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: two toilets and a sink

Denny's #0864 Ann Arbor, Michigan 26-Oct-96, 1:00am EDT 3310 Washtenaw Rd., off Rt. 23 (313) 971-0090

• Attendees: P7A77, Ken Apel, Angelique DuPres, Cindi Fountain, Drew Milcdajczyk, Chris Moore, Jim
• Wait-person(s): N/A
• What we ate: N/A
• After loading up the bus with props and hanging around in an apartment in Ann Arbor for a while with a group of people each of whom were on one illicit drug or another, we decided to go to Denny's and satiate our hungry stomachs. We figured, hey, it's before bar time, it's a double college town, it's a Friday night... no problem gettin' food at Denny's. But no. As we were walking up to the front door, we saw a Denny's employee walking to the door from the inside. She taped a note up to the door. She locked the door.
  The note said "Closed Due to Maintenance - Sorry. Thank you, Management". They were fucking CLOSED. Do you understand me? The place that promises to be ALWAYS OPEN was CLOSED. It would be one thing if this was in a tough crime area and they always closed on the weekends, but it was in fucking Ann Arbor, Michigan, home of Hash Bash, and it was CLOSED. Not because of a bomb threat. Not because they were spraying for bugs. Not because they were being held up. They were MOPPING the fucking FLOORS on a FRIDAY night. The bastards.
  I was able to yell through the door and find out the Denny's #, but I could't get her to tell me about "Weird Al". We hung around and waited for one of the lucky customers (those who were able to get in before this abomination to Denny's locked its doors) left, then we reached inside the door, grabbed the sign that the manager had put up, and high-tailed it back to Toledo.
  This was probably the only time in my life I was actually happy to be leaving Ann Arbor.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: "Closed for Maintenance" sign (stolen)

Denny's #0866 Cincinnati, Ohio 14-Feb-97, 9:50pm EST 3320 Highland Ave., off I-71 at Ridge Ave. N (513) 731-5751

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Dan Mess, Aaron Yonka
• Wait-person(s): Teresa, Dietra
• What we ate: P7A77 - Charlston Chicken Sandwich, Seasoned Fries w/BBQ Sauce, Coffee, Water; Adder - Moons Over My Hammy, Coffee, Water; Dan - Delidinger, Biscuits and Gravy, Coffee, Water; Aaron - Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs (scrambled) with lots of pepper, White Toast, Large Orange Juice, Water
• Before moving to Arizona permanently, I paid one last visit to my alma mater. Besides, I still had one Denny's left in Cincinnati to hit. At first, the waitstaff was great, but our favorable opinion of them was quickly diluted by the fact that they never refilled our coffee. Thankfully, all was not lost. They eventually made a fresh pot just for us. Ain't they sweet?
  Adder, Aaron, and I have a friend who goes by the moniker "Ox". Ox is a spiffy fellow; in fact, OX ROX!!! While sitting at the restaurant, we made up all sorts of Ox jokes. Here are a few of them:
  • What does Ox keep stuff in? OX BOX!!!
  • Whom does Ox coach for football? OX JOCKS!!!
  • What does Ox wear on his head for a night on the town? OX FROCKS!!!
  • What does Ox use to wash his foot coverings? OX SOCKS CLOROX!!!
  • What sort of small plants does Ox have growing around his trees? OX PHLOX!!!
  You get the idea.
  When we got up to leave, we saw that, while we had one check, it was actually split up into separate checks. Sort of an itemized single check, but it was separate. Well, we thought it was interesting.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Motel Guide, Scarf, and Drink

Denny's #0871 Terre Haute, Indiana 17-Mar-96, 1:02pm CDT 3442 South US Hwy 41 (Denny's South) (812) 235-5739

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Indy
• What we ate: Nothing
• Indy, our waitress, mentioned that it was her first time on day shift, and that she was usually a graveyard worker, so there was a sort of an instant bond there, but she was still a bit frightened and confused nonetheless. Regardless, it helped to adjust me to the fact that it was sunny out, since I was still trying to get used to that fact. We were able to get a name tag out of them.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "Dexter" Name Tag

Denny's #0893 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 12:55am MST 5002 N. 7th St. (602) 279-7721

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Lisa (maybe)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Coffee, Water
• I've received a lot of emails about this place. They tell me it's called "The Gay Denny's" and that early morning hours provide drag shows and soap operas. I figured I had to make an appearance. I got there a little early (I figured things would start happening between 1:30 and 2am), so I settled into the counter and started a never ending cup of coffee.
• It was busy. Not wacky drag queen floor show busy, but busy nonetheless. Everyone was constantly moving. And the thing is, they seemed to know what they were doing. Customers were served quickly. People were in good spirits. It was a well-oiled machine. I doubt that certain other manager would get a crew to work like that. And my coffee was never empty.
• After about half an hour I decided to get some food. I wasn't very hungry because I had eaten a whole bunch of food earlier that day, so I just got hashbrowns. My waitress very effectively upsold me on Covered & Smothered. That crafty little lady. I say "my waitress" because even though the ticket said "Lisa", I heard them all calling someone else Lisa all night. I guess it's possible they were both named as such, but I don't recall my waitress ever turning her head when people called that name. Oh well.
• After a little over an hour of staring at the equipment behind the counter I decided it was time to leave. No major theatrics since I had been there. Lisa (?) told me that the fun really starts around 4am or so, but ain't no way I was hanging around that long. So to all of you who told me I must must must go to this Denny's... I went. I tried to be there at a time when I'd get some good photos, but it just wasn't to be. Oh, well. It still had a great vibe around the place, and definitely gets a recommendation.
• WAY: n/a (they got slammed right as I left, so I didn't ask)
• Free Stuff: n/a (see above)

Denny's #0897 Dayton, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 8:55pm EDT 3630 N. Dixie (513) 274-2481

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Shannon
• What we ate: Nothing
• Nothing really of note here. We were just passing through on our way to the big prize of the evening in Springfield. They gave us a free business card. Whoopee.
• WAY: Yes - Richard (dishwasher)
• Free Stuff: Business Card

Denny's #1006 Madison, Wisconsin 2 October 2002 6:00pm CDT 1798 Theirer Rd. (608) 241-5061

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Unknown
• What we ate: Nothing
• The closer I got to Chicago, the more it rained. Why? Because when it's not raining when I visit, it's snowing. The people who live there insist the weather is good, but I'm convinced the constant sudden weather shifts have damaged their cognitive thinking. But we're not talking about Chicago, we're talking about Madison. It was yucky and drizzly.
• Hit the Denny's, where the unnamed waiter (yes I know he has a name tag, but my tape of the visit broke and I can't make it out on the photo) gave us what looks like a hair scrunchie and a sticker or piece of paper or Band-Aid (hey, I've gotten one before) or something. Who knows. Who cares. Oh, we stopped by a Frank Lloyd Wright building, but were too late for a tour.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Scrunchie and Sticker (I think)

Denny's #1013 Tempe, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 4:45pm MST 1343 W. Broadway at Priest (602) 966-3136

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joe
• What we ate: Nothing
• Not only did this Denny's have a big rig in the parking lot, it was an older style store (but with a new sign). It was all green and yellow inside, not the crappy black and neon that the newer ones have. They even had a WAY. I tell you, this store is what Denny's is all about. Joe said that he had been working at this store for three months, but had worked at another one for a month, and yet another one for two years before that. That's dedication. He was nervous about just giving us something - what with the security cameras looking down at us - so he made as if he was going to seat us, walked us out of the view of the camera, and gave us an omelette menu. What a guy.
• WAY: Yes (Cook - Jerry)
• Free Stuff: America's Favorite Omelettes Menu

Denny's #1022 Richmond, Kentucky 19-Feb-96, approx. 2:30am Eastern By-Pass (606) 623-1706

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelet, hash browns, toast with strawberry jam, coffee, and a large organe juice; J-R - Coffee (I forget what else); Josh - Orange juice (I forget what else); Chris - Seasoned Fries
• By the time we arrived here, I had already had about four mugs of coffee, and I hadn't eaten anything for about twelve hours. Needless to say, I was slightly wired. We liked the "diner" feel of this Denny's, and we were gettin' hungry, so we decided to eat a full meal. The service was excellent. It was the waitress' second day on the job, so we were able to convince her to give us all sorts of free stuff. I got a free refill of my large orange juice, Josh didn't even get charged for his, and I got some free hash browns without even having to ask for them. Plus, my omelet was goooooood. As to actual items, we got a plastic Denny's baseball cup.
• WAY: Yes ("Oh, you mean with big bushy bozo hair? Yeah, he works day shift.")
• Free Stuff: plastic Denny's sports cup

Denny's #1023 Scottsdale, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 3:05pm MST 3315 N. Scottsdale Rd. & Osbom (602) 946-4754

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joanne, Angie
• What we ate: Nothing
• They gave me a little metal Denny's lapel pin! Wow! I wear it all the time. It's spectacularly stupendous. Spiffy, even. I accidentally walked out with one of their pens, tho'.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's Lapel Pin (given), Pink Pen (stolen)

Denny's #1038 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 11:40pm PDT 2201 W. Sahara Ave. (702) 873-3200

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): PJ
• What we ate: Nothing
• I'm sorry, little miss PJ, that you're working a shitty job on a weekend in Vegas, when you'd much rather be cocktail waitressing and pulling in the big bucks, but that's no excuse to be snotty to me. Not only do you refuse to give me anything, but you say you're going to get the manager and then go in the back... never to return. Who needs ya, anyway. Thtphtptht.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1056 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 10:50pm PDT 13081 S. Maryland Pkwy. (702) 734-1295

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): ...
• What we ate: Nothing
• We were just crusin' through, 'cause we were anxious to get to the Strip. That's 'bout it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Omelet Menu

Denny's #1069 Tempe, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 4:10pm MST 4403 S. Rural Rd. at 60 Fwy. (602) 839-9392

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Misty
• What we ate: Nothing
• We had driven all around Tempe trying to find the other Denny's in the area, but to no avail. When we got here, we asked for directions to the other ones. Some random guy who was standing in line overheard us and answered all our navigational queries.
  We didn't eat anything this time, but we had been to this Denny's previously (I didn't have my notepad or camera with me), and just had a grand old time doing it. They're very friendly at this place. They also have a thick bullet-proof sheet of plexi-glass over the Denny's sign on the front wall.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Save the Children Pin

Denny's #1073 Essington, Pennsylvania 17 August 2004 8:30am EDT 47 Industrial Highway (610) 521-1077

• Attendees: P7A77, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): unknown
• What we ate: P7A77: Mini-Burgers, Water; Lindee: Lumberjack Slam, Coffee
• It was a dreary and exhausted drive back down to Philadelphia, where we stayed at the same Motel 6, which just happened to be on Rte. 420, dude. Fitting, considering the occasion. Lindee opted for the classic breakfast super-sized, better known as the Lumberjack Slam. I went with my own version of Lindee and P7 go to White Castle and after being assured I could get such things at eight in the morning, ordered up the "no sir, no trademark infringement here" Mini Burgers. This gives me hope that Denny's may some day offer chicken rings. I've touched on this topic before, but many people point to the chicken rings as a reason why White Castle is best avoided. I am not such a person; quite the opposite. Chicken products at any sort of similar establishment are over-processed garbage. White Castle is alone in standing up proud. They say, "look, we not going to lie, we know it's crap." It would be against the laws of nature for a chicken to grow in this shape. The rings get in your face with the sobering fact that you are considerably removed from the food's origin. To eat a chicken ring is to accept your place in the universe.
• I digress. When I ordered the Sliders... er, Mini Burgers, the waitress said they were good. Okay, yeah, Denny's food is usually edible in a comforting sort of way, but she was unnaturally into them, and even reiterated how much I was going to enjoy them when we were served. Obviously her dining experiences are limited if this is top on her list of cuisine worthy of gushing. But hey, I was exhausted after a week of camping, dancing, partying, and driving, and the platefulls of greasy food hit the spot. When I was ready to leave and briefly described this site while warming them up for swag, I was asked, "Why do you do this? Is this all that you do?" Like I wasn't already depressed about Phish breaking up. Way to cut to the bone there, Denny's staff.
• So what does one do after a show? Look over photos and reminisce about the experience, of course. Topmost of random joy for me was returning to the rest area and discovering we were parked behind the best Page shout-out of all, Cars Trucks Buses. Have I mentioned how much I love Page? Other random sightings include a controversial (and totally right-on) Hood sticker and a jug band with a kazoo. At one point the port-a-potties required a mounted police detail, which was amusing enough, but even better when the horse backed against one of the occupied stalls and a rather distressed woman, attempting to escape a tiny enclosed space piling over with the waste of thousands of stinky hippies on steady diets of grilled cheese and veggie burritos, unexpectedly found herself juxtaposed with a horse's ass pinning her in.
• My pal Siddhartha "Badass" Finch derives joy from ribbing me good-naturedly about shows, frequently saying things like "Thank you Trey" and posing inquiries on fairy wings. I thankfully didn't see any signs of the former, but I nearly wet myself with glee when I finally snagged a shot of the latter. And somewhere in New York you can purchase lesbians on sale for $2.99 (this week only). Yeah, you heard me. I'm not above the basest of cheap jokes.
• And that was it. Phish was over. If you'll allow me a moment of sentimentality, I'll attempt to capture the significance for me. They say music you listen to in your late teens is what will always strike that chord of nostalgia for you, and that's precisely when I was first encountered them. I was already a dorky white boy from the suburbs raised on classic rock, so it was practically inevitable. While the style of music isn't for everyone, anyone who gives the studio work a serious listen can't deny its complexity and creativity. This is what struck me first, when a friend played You Enjoy Myself in 1992. I have a musical background, and it affected me like nothing had previous. As is probably no surprise to anyone reading this site, I'm a bit of an obsessive personality, so I delved deep. Here was this fantastic music, largely instrumental, with the occasional borderline poetic but mostly goofy lyric. It was a mix of jazz, rock, bluegrass, and something else indescribable, not to mention a liberal touch of humor. It meshed with me perfectly. After a year of poring over their at the time limited catalog, someone slipped me a tape of a show, and a vastly deeper world opened up. There were a lot of the songs I knew, but they were so different! And wow, so many more equally great songs I had never heard before! They sometimes switched instruments! One of them played a vacuum cleaner and did bad covers of classic songs! They had a musical language for audience interaction and participation! They did an a cappella version of Freebird, for crying out loud! And they rocked. HARD.
• To be at a show was like nothing else. While there are structures to the songs, it was by and large improvisational. Even the composed sections varied from version to version. The setlists weren't mere collections of songs, they were entities to be taken as a whole. I was intimately familiar with the music, so I could follow along and anticipate changes, yet be surprised at the same time. I could hear hints and teases and pick up on traces of transitions that wouldn't come to fruition until sixty-four bars or more later. I felt them talking to each other musically, taking me along for the ride. And I was surrounded by thousands of people all there for the same reason, all experiencing the same thing, all of them the nicest people you ever could meet. The musicians were so in tune with each other, they moved as a unit, each of them leading and following, each constantly aware and respectful of what the others were doing. No two shows were the same, but they all built on each other. I heard songs grow and evolve over time. To be a part of that, feeling this music I loved being created before my eyes and ears, music that was simultaneously familiar and new, to be caught up in it was pure bliss, plain and simple.
• I'm idealizing a bit, as there were obvious problems that led to the break-up, but the good far outweighed the bad, and at its core, this is what it was to me. I can't listen to my recordings any more, it's affected me so deeply. And yeah, I know there are a lot of other bands out there, and I do enjoy them, but this is the one that became a part of me, and the one for which there will be no replacement. I'm sad it's over, and I'm regretful I wasn't able to attend more shows, but I'm incredibly thankful I was able to be a part of it when I was. The final show, with all the craziness, was magical. The parking lot on the freeway, the trekking for miles through farmland, the swamp of mud, the perseverance against all odds, the intense emotion from the band on that last day... all of this and much more contributed to a unique and wonderful experience, one I'm inadequately equipped to verbalize, but something I will cherish for as long as I have memory.
• And with that, I made the long journey home.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #1078 Mesa, Arizona 02 February 2001 9:05pm MST 2009 W. Main St. (480) 962-0372

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Diane
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Pie
• Not the most eventful visit to end a rather drab trip, but better than some of the others. On a side note, I noticed that they offered a Quesadilla Skillet. Denny's hasn't had quesadillas on the menu for years. A shame since it was one of Amie's favorites. Did this mean they were back? I checked. Apparently not. So sad. I thought about trying to order a quesadilla and having them tell me they don't offer them and me saying that they have them on the skillet and them telling me that I can't get it separately and then me asking if I can do special orders and them saying yes and me ordering the quesadilla skillet but holding the skillet and them asking me where to hold it and... well, you know the rest. I didn't really want a quesadilla anyway.
• Denny's Fun Fact: A kind reader from Eugene, Oregon, informed me that the scene in question was filmed in a Denny's right there in her town. How 'bout that!
• WAY: James
• Free Stuff: Short Glass

Denny's #1082 Centerville, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 8:15pm EDT 6270 Far Hills Road, I-675 & Rt. 48 (513) 434-2230

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Joseph and Heather
• What we ate: Free Samples of Barq's Root Beer
• After the rather dismal Denny's in Miamisburg, we all went to Adventure Golf in Centerville. After an especially adventurous game, we headed off to this Denny's and quickly found it to be the best one so far in this project. First off, it was the first Denny's I've visited that served alcohol. Secondly, they were friendly as all git-out right from the start, even though we said we weren't eating anything. They explained that they were bored out of their minds with the same-old same-old and that we were a burst of refreshment for them. Not only did they give us several free samples of root beer, and not only did they give us some Magic School Bus cups, but they gave us their very own Root Beer Float pins right off of their shirts. They also got a big kick out of the bus. Next time we plan on getting their shirts, too. (wink, wink)
• WAY: Yes - Nate (server)
• Free Stuff: Nestea coasters, Magic School Bus cups, Barq's Root Beer, RB Float pins, RB Float bumper sticker

Denny's #1048 Fenton, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 4:40pm CST 1096 S. Highway Drive (314) 343-1480

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Niki
• What we ate: Nothing
• I really don't remember anything from this Denny's, and quite franky, I was getting a bit sick of stopping every few minutes just to get some crappy free thing. At least the cook let me wear his hat for the photo.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin

Denny's #1049 Bowling Green, Kentucky 22-Mar-96, 3:40pm CST 4700 Scottsville Rd. (502) 782-9827

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Eric
• What we ate: Nothing
• It seems that Denny's with gift shops is a trend in Kentucky. This one had small knick-knacks for sale, as well as packaged candy (ie, gummy worms, gum drops, etc). Other than that, it sucked. They have no sense of humour at all. I did see a bulbous bouffant, tho'.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Meal Menu

Denny's #1054 Lexington, Kentucky 19-Feb-96, approx. 1:00am 1880 Newton Pike (606) 233-1874

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Coffee
• Pretty quiet for a Denny's. There were hardly any customers, and the few people who were there were very quiet and subdued. Maybe it was something in the coffee. It took a while to get the waitress to give us anything, but once she realized the sort of thing we were after, she gave the item much consideration. At this particular Denny's, they sell Kentucky memorabilia. She gave us a window sticker. We were hoping for the little mini-broom shown in the picture. Ah, well. Next time.
  It should be noted that the waitress only had a few teeth, and those were severely darkened. We were hoping she'd smile big for the camera. Alas, she did not. She was quite friendly, tho'
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "KENTUCKY" window sticker

Denny's #1123 Dallas, Texas 19-Mar-96, 12:50pm CST 7120 S. Cockrel Hill Rd., exit Camp Wistom, near Redbird Mall (214) 296-4033

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• This was the second and last Denny's on our trip from Arlington to Dallas. If you're from the area, you'll know why. I was originally planning on driving around the DFW area and hitting up the several dozen Denny's there, but after hitting 18 of them in 24 hours, I was getting pretty sick of them. I was also running out of money. So I opted instead to just visit all of the ones in Arlington that evening and then head on off to Memphis the next day.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Menu Stickers, Some Funky Trippy Prism Thing (from the Lost-n-Found)

Denny's #1138 Lost Hills, California 12 October 2001 7:30am PDT I-5 & Highway 46 (661) 797-2606

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Berta
• What we ate: nothing
• Talk about Lost Hills. My Mapquest directions didn't include this one on our list (yes, we're that lame), even though our directions had us change roads at this exit, so this was a found Denny's. But I'd have to be an idiot to miss it, since I had to drive right in front of it. So not really "found" as much as "not missed".
• While I sat at the end of the exit ramp, waiting to turn, I noticed that, crossing the road in front of me, were two sheep! Just walking across the road! I supposed it was farm country out there, but it was a rather barren intersection, and it was just strange to see. Amie had been sleeping, and so was probably a little confused to be woken by me freaking out about barnyard animals while pulling off the interstate next to Denny's.
• I quickly parked and jumped out to get some photos, noticing that nobody else seemed terribly concerned about livestock wandering through traffic. I chalked it up to being a local thing, but Berta assured me that it had never happened before. While she was telling me that, yes, live grazing animals investigating their parking lot was not an occurance one was likely to witness regularly, she seemed not at all even slightly intrigued. She responded much as one would expect someone to respond as if I had walked calmly in there and informed her that the sky was blue and the moon wasn't made out of cheese. Now that I think about it, some strange slightly deranged person walking up to me and telling me basic well-agreed-upon facts of time and space would probably freak me out at least a tad, so my ranting and raving about large animals likely wasn't the norm for her, either. In that case, she handled herself quite well. Brava.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #1144 Los Angeles, California 10 June 2002 1:00pm PDT 5751 W Sunset Blvd (323) 464-8435

• Attendees: P7A77 and a bunch of other people
• Wait-person(s): Does it matter?
• Okay, people. I'm writing this entry a full two years after the visit. Suffice to say, this site has dropped off significantly in importance to me. Sorry, that's just the way it goes.
• However, this was a unique visit. In the ripe summer of 2002, I was but one lost soul in the swarms of the unemployed. Since I was trying to figure out the source of my next rent check, when an advertising firm in LA called and said they wanted to hire me for a one-day consultation gig, I was all over that. They flew me down there one morning to talk to them about Denny's. Apparently they were trying to pitch a new campaign and they wanted to test it out on me or pick my brain or something. It was me and a score of various marketing people sitting around a conference room with my site projected on the big display. I kept insisting that their target market was a bunch of broke stoned high school students and that I'm sort of a meta-observer of the thing and my site isn't really about Denny's anyway, but they were paying for lunch, so I did the best I could to be the sad clown dancing.
• As it was two years ago and I can't read my chicken scratch hand-writing in my notebook, I don't remember a lot of what was said. After the tenth time of them asking, "well what about this?" and me saying, "uh, dudes, I dunno," they were starting to share my original viewpoint that I'd be of no use to them, so we broke for lunch. This marks the first time I've been paid to go to Denny's. I'm now a professional! Good thing they changed the rules for the Olympics.
• I'm not even sure if the Denny's listed above is the one we went to, but it's one of three I have written down here as potentials to visit. Is this one the Rock & Roll Denny's? Aren't they all the same? We ate a lot of mediocre food and took a picture with Golden Orphan Annie (waitress since 1976!). Quote of the day: "The most nondescript thing I've ever tried to describe."
• I don't think they got the account.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: the entire trip

Denny's #1153 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 2:10pm MST 3456 W. Bethany Home Rd. (6020) 973-7716

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Anahi
• What we ate: P7A77 - Garden Scramble Skillet, Rye Toast, Coffee
• They don't have the Garden Fresh Skillet any more! It was much better than this "Garden Scramble" thing they have now. The former had big chunks of broccoli! It was good! Damn them! Maybe they'll bring it back again. They already removed and added it once before.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Baby Rattle from Lost & Found

Denny's #1155 Fairfax, Virginia 30-Nov-96, 4:00pm EST 9940 Lee Hwy., across from Hardee's (703) 273-8133

• Attendees: P7A77, Corpse, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• The sign outside had the new logo, the sign on the wall had the old logo, and the frosted glass partitians inside had the old logo.
  Much as in the other store in Fairfax, nobody in here seemed to speak English terribly well. I couldn't seem to get across the concept that I was just passing through and that I wanted something for free. The gentleman behind the counter kept telling me that he would call the head office and for me to come back in a week. Finally I just took a toothpick and left.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Toothpick

Denny's #1164 Aurora, Illinois 6 March 1999 2:40pm CST 4300 Fox Valley Center Dr. at Fox Valley Mall (630) 851-3063

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lalo
• What we ate: P7A77 - Garden Fresh Skillet, Coke; Amie - Sunshine Slam, Water
• First things first. This has to be done. I really have no choice in the matter.
• Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent!
• Ahem. Sorry 'bout that. It was a weak moment. The frequency of Wayne's World comments during this trip was second only to the number of times I complained about the cold. It was cold. Really really cold. I'm not kidding. It was 85 degrees in Tucson when I left home. It was significantly less warm in the greater Chicacoland area. How less warm, do you ask? There was SNOW on the ground. SNOW! I'm tellin' ya! I hate snow! I moved to Tucson to AVOID the snow! On top of the snow and cold, the entrance to this Denny's is pretty difficult to find for a first-time visitor. You think you're going to the entrance, but no. You discover only too late that you missed it and now have to go around the corner and enter the mall parking lot and eventually weave your way back. For those who plan on visiting, just look for "Entrance #6".
• On a brighter side, my dismay at the utter lack of warmth was eventually pushed to the backside by the joy and goodness that greeted me when I opened up the menu. My absolute favorite discontinued menu item was no longer discontinued. It even brought reinforcements. That's right, the Garden Fresh Skillet is back! And so are a whole shitload of other skillets! For my money, you can't get a better breakfast than the Garden Fresh Skillet. Well, maybe the Ultimate Omelette. Or the Moons Over My Hammy. But the Garden Fresh Skillet definitely ranks right up there.
• Amie, who has become increasingly unappetized by meat products, opted for what is a relatively newer addition to the Denny's Menu, the Sunshine Slam. Or, as I like to refer to it, the Stinking Unwashed Hippie Slam. For those who don't know, Denny's offers the Grand Slam breakfast at a low price during certain hours of the day, but they don't allow substitutions, so those who don't like meat were forced to spend more. So they came up with the Sunshine Slam, which is the same as the Grand Slam, except you can get hashbrowns or fruit instead of the charred pig flesh.
• I've been finding WAYs more difficult to spot in recent years. Maybe it's just a Midwest phenomenon. The result is that my criteria are becoming more lax. Lalo (our waiter) sort of fit the bill this time as far as appearance was concerned. But at one time during our meal, he walked up, took away our salt and pepper without a word, and left. Later he returned them (presumably freshly filled), also without a word. His somewhat odd way of going about this earned him special recognition.
• WAY: Lalo (sort of)
• Free Stuff: Coffee Insert (stolen)

Denny's #1214 Cincinnati, Ohio 18-Feb-96, 11:30pm 9350 Colerain Ave, across from Northgate Mall (513) 385-xxxx

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Coffee
• This is the visit that started it all. I thought it might be fun to stop at all the Denny's on the way from Oxford, Ohio, to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. We started off our trip light, just stopping for coffee and cigarettes. Much to our merriment, there was a corner booth full of local counter-culture youth, which inspired us to get our photo taken. Lucky they were there to give us the idea, else this journal not be as visually-enhanced as it is.
• WAY: Yes ("Jim? He ain't no manager. He thinks he is, but he ain't.")
• Free Stuff: Denny's Travel Directory

Denny's #1219 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 8:45pm CST 1000 W. Pioneer Pkwy. & Cooper (817) 275-6701

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt
• Wait-person(s): Peter (host)
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's was fun, because we freaked the hell out of Peter. I think he went along with what we were doing out of fear. Richard (the photographer for the Dallas Morning News) was snapping pictures all over the place. As I was talking to Peter, I noticed that Richard was causing the folks in the back room to get a bit nervous. They were pointing at us and looking concerned. When they started walking out to talk to us, we high-tailed it for the door. We're such deviants.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin (for those of you keeping track at home, this makes five total)

Denny's #1222 Colorado Springs, Colorado 23 January 2000 11:20am MST 1450 Harrison Rd. at I-25 & Circle (719) 576-3394

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: nothing
• So we missed this Denny's on the way up, and we missed it on the way down. I was determined. Not only to visit this Denny's but to get some damn ZOOBS. The next exit was a couple of miles down the road, at which point I turned around and went to this Denny's. It was hella crowded inside. People lined up waiting to be seated, people lined up waiting to pay, and not enough employees to go around. I figured I wouldn't bother them with the details of the project and would just ask about ZOOBS. I was a bit nervous, since I saw that they had no ZOOB display, but the hostess said that yes, they do have ZOOBS, and asked the manager where they were.
• They were out.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #1241 Coalinga, California 12 October 2001 6:30am PDT 25026 West Dorris (209) 935-3529

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): n/a
• What we ate:n/a
• WARNING: not for the feint of heart.
• Here's the situation. My body is rather finicky. Part of the problem with getting old. In the middle of the San Joaquin Valley desert, at least half an hour before the next rest area, in the dead of the night, with no sort of soft paper or tissue on hand, I got an urge. Not the kind I can write my name with, either. At least, not without some practice.
• The only spot on the side of the road that didn't have all sorts of scary nasty desert vegetation was up at the top of a hill, so people driving by must have gotten a great flash in their headlights. All I gotta say is that it's difficult to stand as if you're sitting. Get some awful leg cramps. If anyone comes upon a little present with a piece of crumpled legal pad paper in it on the side of I-5 southbound, enjoy it with my blessings.
• The reason there's no information for this Denny's is because when I got there, feeling rather stinky and crusty, it was already pretty crowded. All I wanted was to use the washroom, and it was full of people. I was grumpy and didn't feel like standing around or talking to anyone, so I left. I didn't even know what city I was in. Figured I could determine by the address on the building in the photo. Actually, I didn't think about that until after I was on the road, so I'm really just lucky. Well, one notch less unlucky, anyway.
• WAY: n/a
• Free Stuff: n/a

Denny's #1256 Fairfield, Ohio 14-Aug-96, 9:05pm EDT 5590 Dixie Highway, 3 Miles North of Forest Fair Mall (513) 874-5030

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Tim (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• I tried to get Tim to give me some free hologram baseball cards. He gave me a table display advertizing them. Works for me.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Hologram Baseball Card Display

Denny's #1266 Kalamazoo, Michigan 4 October 2002 4:20pm EDT 3817 E. Cork St. (269) 342-4633

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Unknown
• What we ate: Nothing
• And so we reach the final Denny's of the trip, in good ol' Kalamazoo, latter-day home of Elvis. Even though we didn't eat anything, the manager gave me a personalized name tag. I suppose if it wasn't personalized, it'd simply be a tag.
• Toledo was a host of disappointments. The high-school reunion had been planned very late in the game and hardly anyone was there, and of those in attendance, nobody was much of a P7 fan. I stopped by the first Denny's I ever attended in my life, which is the same as the one I used to work and the first one for Das Büs. This is a Denny's with an especially-groovy old-school sign, even groovier than the one most of us have seen. It was GONE. As was the other Denny's I frequented in high school.
• Picked myself up from that disappointment and went to pay a visit to Das Büs, which has frankly seen better days. I went to climb in through the back and noticed what looked like chunky sawdust on the floor. Got in, looked up, and OH MY GOD WASPS. Let's back up a few. When I was a kid, I happened to step in a wasp's nest that had fallen on the ground. I was wearing long pants. Wasps fly in, they don't fly out. I am emotionally scarred for life. Needless to say, I got right the fuck out of there.
• My plans for a quick drive out the window, I contented myself to hang off the side for a glamor shot. Then one last hug and off I went.
• So let's total up the trip. Three Denny's that we were unable to attend because they were closed for the night or closed permanently, two previously-visited (and my hometown) Denny's out of business, and a bus infested by wasps. Time to give up this li'l old website, perhaps? Soon, I promise.
• WAY: Unknown
• Free Stuff: Name Tag

Denny's #1283 Clifton Heights, Pennsylvania 12 March 2006 2:30pm EST 5321 Baltimore Pike (610) 259-1283

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Kathy
• What we ate: Nothing
• Straight from the Olympic Diner was a stop off at the regional Denny's. No eating at this one, which may explain why they were actively against the concept of basic friendliness, let alone helpfulness. I asked Kathy the store number and was sternly told, "I know it, but I'm not allowed to give it out." Ooh, ooh, Kathy has a secret! Well, nanny nanny boo boo to you, too. I'm taking my ball and going to Baltimore.
• I love taking on trips, and I love even more not planning for them. I tend to compile a basic skeleton and fill in the gaps as I go along. There are always trains and buses, and I'm rarely in a hurry. Regardless, I may have overlooked a few things this time around, first in thinking that Dulles Airport was an easy commute from Baltimore at 2am on a Monday morning for a 6am flight. As the waves of denial dissipated, I came to accept that I was going to have to find another time or departure point or both. This was agreeable to me, as I didn't have to work for a few days and I was having a hell of a good time. First thing to do was find a hotel for the night. Hells yes I love the Interwow, as I used one of those last-minute hotel sites to find incredibly cheap huge rooms in lodges that had been either turning people away for lack of space, or charging crazy-talk prices. Special happy bonus was walking distance to the venue (The 8x10). But not too close, and not completely easy to remember when is walking in the opposite direction with a fried brain. We ended up a mile or so out of our way, a fact of which I became aware when I finally remembered we weren't staying anywhere near this steep hill that we kept on climbing. Happy benefit was walking by a spiffy looking church all eerily lit in the cold black emptiness of pre-dawn. Also, the circus!
• Since leaving from DC was no longer an option, I first returned to Philaldelphia with bexy, who dropped me off downtown and went on her merry way. The afternoon saw a leisurely stroll, taking in all the history. As proof, I offer you still yet another photo of the Liberty Bell. I then spent a while wandering around and taking photos for tourists so that they could be in the shots with their kids. With their cameras, that is, not mine. This all was secondary to my true purpose downtown, which was hopping on a bus to Atlantic City. Once I picked up a map and saw how close everything was, I realized that I coudln't be spitting distance from America's Playground and NOT pay it a visit. And in case I got hungry as I waited, there was a nice little donut shop behind the bus terminal that like oh my god totally has food.
• Again I wasn't thinking too far ahead. My new flight was late Tuesday afternoon out of New York. I arrived in Atlantic City Monday night. I thought I could play some poker that night and then have a nice session all the next day. But, er, yeah, buses and trains take a while to get from place to place, and my personal matter transport device was in the shop, so really the entire side-trip was for a few hours of play, and I lost hard Monday night, mostly due to poor planning and discipline. I got into a no limit hold'em game on Tuesday morning, spent about an hour getting the table read and dominated; just when I had the power and control to do what I needed, I had to leave to catch my bus. Oh well, at least I got to play at the Taj Majal and experience a bit of the closed-for-wintertime boardwalk.
• Back in NYC, I went topside from the Port Authority long enough to do what I neglected to my first pass through, which was the quintessential New York experience of eating a hot dog next to taxis and porn. Then a train ride and one direct flight later, I was home in San Francisco.
• WAY: Unknown
• Free Stuff: No

Denny's #1292 Garland, Texas 20-Mar-96, 11:55am CST 457 West I-30 exit Beltline (214) 240-1522

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Leah
• What we ate: Nothing
• A new day. New dawn. New Denny's. We got bored with Dallas fairly quickly, so we decided to head on out to Memphis, as Amie had connections there and we could sleep and eat for free. So, after a nice egg breakfast at our hostess' apartment, we hit the road. The attitudes at this Denny's were to be expected, it being the late morning shift and all. They were freaked out by us and gave us crappy free stuff.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Meal Stickers

Denny's #1295 Collinsville, Illinois 17-Mar-96, 2:50pm CST 522 Ramada Blvd, I-55/70 at Rt. 157 (618) 345-8995

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Water
• This is a pretty slick-lookin' Denny's, what with the neon lighting in the inside and all. It had a certain "diner" feel to it. Additionally, it had a Baskin' Robbin's inside. The waitress was quite feisty. When I asked for water, she asked me if I wated ice in that, because "we charge for ice". Also, when I asked where we were so that I could check it off in my travel directory, she said "You're at Denny's". We were able to get the upper hand with her, though, once we explained why we were there and what we were doing. After that, the wait-staff in general seemed pretty flipped out by us. The manager was quite friendly and helpful, though. As we were sipping our water, we happened to chat with the gentleman sitting next to us at the counter. He told us that he had met his wife at this Denny's fifteen years previous. Ain't that sweet?
• WAY: Yes (Steve - works dishes)
• Free Stuff: Dessert Promotional Menu Insert

Denny's #1341 Las Vegas, Nevada 25-May-97, 10:30pm PDT 5318 Boulder Hwy. (702) 456-1919

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Candy, Ruthanne (Manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• So we were waiting for Candy to get the manager for us (since she was too nervous to snag anything for us herself) and we noticed this strange frosting cake type thing sitting on the counter. For some unknown reason, it had various coins stuck all through it. Tho', I suppose if you're going to have a pile of frosting sitting on your counter, you really don't need much of a reason to add some loose change to it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Omelet Menu

Denny's #1352 Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 18-Mar-96, 6:55am CST 8301 South I-35 (405) 631-3405

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Judy
• What we ate: Coffee
• We got to this Denny's shortly after taking a two hour nap on the side of the interstate, so we were a bit groggy. I received my third Minute Maid button here.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Button (with stickers attached)

Denny's #1383 Belleville, Michigan 29-Nov-97, 7:30pm EST 2033 Rawsonville Rd, I-94 near Metro Airport (313) 482-3880

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Amie
• Wait-person(s): click on the photo and see if you can figure it out by her name tag
• What we ate: some cheesesticks maybe? a milkshake or two, we think...
• So after Monroe we didn't see much. We weren't expecting to at first, since were were just aiming towards Canada, but as we left and headed towards Ann Arbor, there was nothing. Like a damn fool, I forgot to take along one of my many Denny's guides, or even a map, so we were just stuck drivin' on the highway and hoping we'd pass something. By the time we had driven through Ann Arbor, we had given up hope, so, having remembered hearing there were two in the Ann Arbor area (I had only been to one of them previously), I stopped and looked up the address in a phone book, and asked a gas station attendant for directions. It, of course, was on a different highway, and almost half-way back to Detroit. Damn it all.
• Since that's about all I can remember (aside from that evil woman hrassing me and tainting my beverages), I asked Amie to write up something for this entry, too. Well, maybe "asked" is the wrong word. Demanded.
• [from Amie]: Well, after driving all through Ann Arbor looking for possible Denny's, we came to realize that the Denny's we had passed on some freeway near there was the only one we were going to find (and I guess the only one in existence, who the hell cares). The experience there was unremarkable. I decided to torment P7A77 and dumped salt in his water and was generally goofy and silly, and poor Adder wasn't quite sure how to react. I think I had a milkshake, though I could have had cheesesticks, though actually, I think P7A77 had the cheesesticks, I stole one, but enjoyed my Oreo milkshake, what Adder had is anyone's guess.
• WAY: ???
• Free Stuff: crappy take-out and kids menu stuff, judging by the photo

Denny's #1386 Sparks, Nevada 26 September 2002 2:55pm PDT 205 E. Nugget Ave. (775) 359-9053

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Rosa (employee since 1985)
• What we ate: Nothing
• And so we entered Nevada. The scenery turned into barren desert not far past the border. It's like the Californians saw where the lush greenery stopped and drew the line. The Nevadans said, okay, fine, our silver is worth more than your stupid little gold rush anyway. Bring on the whores! Or maybe it didn't go like that. I fell asleep a lot during American History. It was right after lunch, give me a break.
• We had our first gas-up for the trip. I had to walk through a room of slot machines to pay for it and somehow lost track of ten bucks. Yes, I have "sucker" tattooed on my forehead. Who'd a thunk the casino at the Arco off I-80 at the border didn't have the loosest slots? I even lost 50 cents at the Denny's. At least it had a groovy old-school sign. You don't see those much any more, what with the "Diner" makeover. Bring back the 70s, I say. Wide collars, key parties, and Denny's. Western civilization has peaked, I tell ya.
• The Sparks Denny's gave us a travel directory, so we could figure out where the rest were on our trip. Not that I don't already have a bunch of directories, but I had neglected to bring any with me. Or maybe I did and they fell apart. Or maybe we didn't need any at all. I can't remember. Still, can't have too many travel directories. We got an idea where we'd be stopping through Nevada and paced ourselves. One in Winnemucca, one in Elko. Good spacing throughout the state.
• Got to Winnemucca, couldn't find the Denny's. But there was a diner with a familiar-looking sign named Jerry's. That is, the diner was named Jerry's, not the sign. Tho' it may have been for all I know; we weren't formally introduced. This morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. Stopped in, asked if it had ever a Denny's. No, sorry, the honor of running Denny's out of town went to Dos Amigos.
• Okay, fine, be that way. Nobody likes you much anyway, Winnestupida. Moving on to Elko. This place had every chain store in the world. All the fast food, all the department stores, all the big boxes. And a conspicuously absent Denny's. We got fixins for PB&J at the grocery instead. So much for the travel directory. Three Denny's failures in 24 hours. Someone's trying to tell me something.
• Nevada ended up being a wonderful drive. Mostly flat, open highway with nice desert scenery and a mountain to drive through here and there. Good and relaxing. Got to Utah and the Bonneville Salt Flats. It was nighttime, but we could smell 'em out there. Thanks to light pollution, this was the first opportunity I'd had to see the Milky Way. My word. Took my breath away. Seriously, everyone should move to the country and use kerosene lamps. I don't have a photo of it, because my little snapshot digicam wasn't good enough for it, not even on a tripod with a longer exposure. You'll just have to take my word on it, sky full of stars = awe-inspiring.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Take-Out Menu, Travel Directory

Denny's #1405 San Jose, California 05 October 2000 9:00pm PDT 1001 E. Capitol Expressway, near McLaughlin (408) 578-2549

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Gilmore, Linnea
• Wait-person(s): Kevin
• What we ate: P7A77 - Smoked Moons Over My Hammy (eggs scrambled), Hashbrowns, Coffee; Amie - Double Decker Classic, French Fries, Iced Tea; Gilmore - Garlic Mushroom Burger, French Fries, Coke, Coffee (yes - shut up); Linnea - Chicken Cordon Bleu, French Fries, Diet Coke
• Amie and I were going to the area for two reasons. One was because she had a job interview that Friday (she had been "let go" in a "mutual decision" from her previous employer a few weeks previous). But more importantly, the last two shows of potentially the last tour ever (tho' not confirmed) of Phish were in Mountain View that weekend. It also happened to be Amie's birthday. The planets may have been aligning, too. Since the only thing that could make a birthday spent all day in airports and on airplanes more depressing is going to Denny's (especially since they don't do the free birthday meals any more), that's exactly where we went within hours of arriving in San Jose.
• Our waiter, Kevin, was enthusiastic, friendly, and courteous, which immediately made us suspicious. It turns out it was his second day on the job, so it all made sense. To help illustrate his trainee status, he asked me how I wanted my eggs prepared with the Moons. As any seasoned traveler knows, they only come scrambled. I said as much and he went on his way, only to come back a few minutes later for more clarification. I'm not really sure what happened, but I think he had told the cook that I wanted my side of eggs scrambled. Luckily this cook knew how the food was supposed to be prepared, so he sent Kevin back to clarify that I wanted a side order of eggs. I didn't, and explained that eggs come on the sandwich, hence the "Moons" in the title, and that I wanted my side dish to be hashbrowns, as previously stated.
• Once that confused was taken care of, Gilmore and Linnea were able to play with the complimentary ZOOBS left in a bucket near our table. The final result was some sort of big-headed four-legged two-tailed monster thing that, now that I look at it, resembles one of the sculptures that attacks the Catharine O'Hara and Jeffery Jones in Beetlejuice, but I think they just ran out of ZOOBS.
• In a pathetic attempt to make Amie's birthday more special, once the food arrived I brought out birthday candles I had stealthily brought with us from Tucson and proceeded to stick them in her bun. I had been hoping she was going to get her standard of Moons Over My Hammy (which has toasted sourdough), but the soft bun of the burger was only able to withstand fourteen candles before it started to collapse.
• The rest of our meal went without incident (aside from the lack of coffee refills). I tried to get some free stuff from Kevin, but he was a little confused and then got busy making a salad or something, so we treated ourselves to the Daily Features sign in the lobby. It featured the meal I had just eaten and told us that kindness was free. (To be fair, and to clear myself from liability, it's actually Gilmore who took the sign, since I was too much of a spineless wimp.)
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Display Board

Denny's #1408 Phoenix, Arizona 03 February 2001 11:15pm MST 12401 N. Tatum Blvd. (602) 996-2070

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Kate
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee
• I'm getting old. I had a long day, what with the parade in the morning and a play in the afternoon and a long dinner with margaritas with family... I was weighing driving halfway across town late at night against curling up in a soft, comfortable bed... and the bed almost won out. But once I got on the road (and a few refills of coffee in me) I perked right up.
• Back to the aforementioned family... they're great and all, but anyone who reads even a short bit of the feedback section of this site will realize that I'm frequently dealing with people asking me "Why not Waffle house?" "Why not IHOP?" "Why not Perkin's?" "Why not McDonald's?" "Why not Taco Bell?" I only imagine these very same people would be asking me, had I chosen IHOP, "Why not Denny's?" Some people just gotta be contrary. Well, okay, I'm one of them, but it's still annoying. On top of that, practically every relative or friend I ran into tried to be helpful by telling me about one specific Denny's or another, even after I kept telling them that I already knew where they all were. But for some reason my telling them that only got them to suggest I look in the phone book. This happened more than once, and with the same people. Ah, family. And people wonder why I don't visit them more often.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Free Entree Pin

Denny's #1432 Westerville, Ohio 1-Dec-96, 7:00pm EST 23 Huber Village Blvd., I-270 exti Rt. 3 N. (614) 882-5599

• Attendees: P7A77, Jern Scudiere, Josh (formerly "The Bear") Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Michelle
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Coffee; Jern - Super Bird w/American Cheese (no Swiss), Fries, Lemonade; Josh - Farmer's Omelet Special, Hashbrowns, Biscuit, Coffee
• Josh and Jern had spent Thanksgiving in Cleveland, and were planning on going through Columbus on their way back to Cincinnati at the same time that I was going through on my way back to Toledo. They got there an hour early. I got there an hour late. I was able to phone ahead, though, and the friendly Denny's staff relayed my message so that they'd wait for me. And they did. They're so sweet that way.
  As to the food... Josh: "Damn tasty. I had to shit twice." Jern: "The Super Bird was, indeed, a super bird." P7A77: "This coffee has a strange film on it."
  I should note that this Denny's is located in one of the cities that the movie Heathers was based on. I felt like doing something nasty to some high school prep kids as I was leaving, but I think that's due more to the fact that I usually feel that way than to the location of the Denny's.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Melts & Malts Menu

Denny's #1433 Pueblo, Colorado 21 January 2000 7:55am MST 3600 North Freeway, Hwy. 50 & I-25, near Pueblo Mall (719) 546-1407

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Curt
• What we ate: nothing
• This was an older style restaurant on the outside, but it had some of the newer retro-diner stuff on the inside. A very confusing place. They weren't too busy for the morning, but it's been forever and a day since I've been at Denny's at 8am on a weekday, so I don't know if it's because the daily grind customers had already left, or if the retiree crowd hadn't arrived yet. Regardless, rather than risk prompt and courteous service, we decided to wait and eat in Colorado Springs.
• Curt (whose real name is Andrea) told us the manager said we couldn't have anything for free, so she looked the other way while we took a juice display. Yay, Curt!
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: juice table display

Denny's #1485 Scottsdale, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 1:45pm MST 10340 N. Scottsdale Rd. (602) 998-0191

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): ...
• What we ate: P7A77 - Five-Star Philly, French Fries w/Mayonnaise, Coke; Amie - Delidinger, French Fries, Coke
• Amie had made some last-minute plans to be in Scottsdale to show some photographs to a gallery, and since we still had some film to use up, we took a chunk out of the plethora of Phoenix-area Denny's.
  This Denny's was moderately shitty. The waitress was prompt with our food, but she was scowling at us the whole time, and fairly inattentive once we were served. The Philly was interesting - a bit different than standard Denny's fare - but nothing worth writing any more about. The Delidinger was crunchy.
  In fact, the only thing this Denny's has going for it is that the manager looks like "Weird Al" Yankovic.
• WAY: Yes (Manager)
• Free Stuff: A Crayon

Denny's #1539 Carson City, Nevada 7 August 2005 12:30am PDT 2299 N. Carson St. (775) 883-6550

• Attendees: P7A77, AJ, B
• Wait-person(s): Kimberly (Manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• A few of us were spending the weekend driving around Northern California and western Nevada for some Tea Leaf Green shows. On the way up we passed a few menacing black utility vehicles with rather nasty ugly drivers, taking "missionary" work back to the basics. In case you can't make them out, the seal on the door reads "The Great Seal of God - The Sabbath", over the rear wheel is "Jesus Christ Government - Official Use Only", and yes, that does say "Bounty Hunter" up top. Is there some sort of turf battle going on with the mountain militias?
• Thankfully they weren't after our heads, so we head up to the top of a mountain for a rousing afternoon of music. The show in Reno that night was cancelled, but we still had hotel booked and 66.666...% of us were itching for poker. None of us had a map, but we figured, hey, getting down a mountain can't be that difficult. Some meandering and appropriate pitstops later, we arrived at the bottom to realize that yes, indeed, we were on the wrong side. So we stopped in at some local casinos, made some good change in a short time at a table, and headed up on to Reno.
• Nature called, as she is wont to do, so AJ (who was doing all the driving, bless his heart) pulled over at, of course, Denny's. Nobody was eating, and B was asleep, so I just darted in to get the info. I was waiting up front to speak with the manager, who gave me a curious look. I started into my spiel about traveling around and visiting Denny's, at which point she cut me off and asked if I had that web site. I couldn't immediately assess whether she was going to hug me or take a butcher cleaver to my jugular, so I sheepishly confirmed her suspicions, one eye on my exit routes. Well, glory be, she was on happy side of the fence. Yay! She presented to me a clean, cold, crisp carafe and graciously mugged for the camera with me.
• This is why I prefer graveyard shift. I probably should have eaten there, but I was too tired and out of it to think too quickly at that point.
• Once in Reno I immediately lost what I had won, went down some more, and spent the rest of the night climbing back to break even. Perhaps I was up a bit. But not too bad, got to see some shows, have a good time, and a brand new carafe! There was even a WAY factor. Huzzah!
• PS - It should be noted that this was AJ's first exposure to this, er, adventure, and he expressed concern for my sanity.
• WAY: Bill (old GM, now in Sparks)
• Free Stuff: Carafe

Denny's #1552 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 4:05pm MST 2717 W. Bell Rd. (602) 993-3263

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Andrea, Michelle
• What we ate: nothing
• This visit reminded me why I don't like making these trips during daylight. Regular shift workers are notoriously humorless, even when they're not busy at all and have time to talk to me. The best is always early in the morning, after the bar crowd clears out but before the morning fishing trip crowd comes in. I was asking Andrea all of the questions, but when I got to the free stuff, the manager just kept shaking her head saying "no". She wouldn't even look at me.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #1555 St. Louis, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 4:35pm CST 10575 Watson Rd., South City Mall (314) 821-1935

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Craig
• What we ate: Nothing
• Not only was this Denny's difficult to find (the Denny's sign was in front of a motel, and we had to drive behind the motel and around a corner to find the damn place), but they were snobby as shit (pardon my French). The customers were making comments to each other about us, and the staff wasn't too keen on us, either. We were still able to get a Breakaway Value Menu out of them, but I think it was because they were afraid to give us anything less. Fear can be a good thing sometimes.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Breakaway Value Menu

Denny's #1561 Harwood Heights, Illinois 3 October 2002 5:07pm CDT 4609 N. Harlem Ave. (708) 457-1010

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Michael, Wellsie, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): James
• What we ate: P7A77: Ultimate Omelette; Amie: Moons Over My Hammy; Michael: Breakfast Dagwood w/ Seasoned Fries; Wellsie: Breakfast Dagwood; Lindee: Veggie Cheese Omelette
• On down to Illinois, where the state trees are plentiful and annoying. Our friend Michael was kind enough to let us crash in his Chicagoland house and eat all his food. After we emptied his fridge, it was off to Denny's. No surprise there, considering you're reading the entry for it.
• As we sat sat anxiously awaiting our food, Wellsie regaled us with descriptors of the leftovers from her previous relationship, at the time occupying the back of her car. Feeling the need to preserve it for the ages, she wrote us a lovely little poem to commemorate the occasion. As a picture is worth a thousand (or, in this case, nineteen) words, I snapped a shot of the aforementioned sporting accessory. Ensuring nobody would forget the events that seemed so amusing at the time but lose a bit in translation, there's also a photo of me taking the photo. Now I need a photo of somebody looking at the photo of me taking the photo, and then time and space will collapse upon itself.
• Oh yeah, on the way out of town, we stopped by the Frank Lloyd Wright studio in Oak Park. It was raining. Of course.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: timeless poetry

Denny's #1574 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 12 March 2006 1:00pm EST 4020 City Ave. (215) 473-9260

• Attendees: P7A77, bexy, HanzerBiscuit, Rebecca
• Wait-person(s): Tanya
• What we ate: P7A77 - Feta & Spinach Omelette, Home Fries, Toast, Coffee, Water; bexy: Mushroom & Feta Omelette, Home Fries, Toast, Coffee, Water; Hanzer: Hotcakes & Bacon, OJ, Coffee; Rebecca: 2 Eggs Over Easy, Sausage, Fries, Ketchup (none of this at Denny's)
• It's been established that in many ways I'm an unwashed barefoot stinky hippie. Granted, my near obsession with a multi-billion dollar franchise corporation may not speak directly to this, and I've been known to wash behind my ears from time to time, but let's place those tidbits neatly aside for the moment. I particularly dig the music and at times take extended holidays primarily for such. It's not that I use up a good chunk of my available time, money, and resources going around seeing the same four guys play from the same catalog of songs night after night; it's that I travel and see new places while listening to music I enjoy, but rather than wearing out the same pile of albums, I get custom remixes every time, straight from the source. Plus, I dance much as what one might imagine would a hobbled kangaroo, if that wretched beast also had no sense of rhythm and an assortment of facial tics. But I enjoy myself, and they generally let me do what I want at these shows, so everybody wins. And by everybody, I mean me.
• One current fascination is the San Francisco group Tea Leaf Green. I missed a three show California run and there were no public plans for regional performances again for quite a while, and sitting there nice and pretty on the East Coast was a whole assload of shows. The thing about the eastern US is the major metropolitan areas are so darned close to each other. I picked a cluster of cities I wanted to visit and booked it. The plan went from spark of idea to signed sealed and delivered in about an hour. The band is currently at a point between near complete obscurity and limitless fame, so I figured this would be the last opportunity to see them in clubs as small as they were playing. Four shows, three cities, four days. And while for most people you seen one noodly jamband you seen 'em all, this one sometimes plays with a smoking giraffe. Okay, it was only that one time. But still.
• I flew into JFK and was promptly almost arrested for taking photographs of a public building. Mmm, Bush's America. Smell the Freedom! So instead I captured the decay of one of modern architecture's finest achievements. This fit in well with my state of the mind at the time, a topic not for now.
• While in New York I visited legendary museums, danced in trendy clubs, and attended world-class theater. Ha. What I really did was march in a parade, kiss a flying cow, pose for ice skaters, visit briefly with Brian (who was working on some deadline that wasn't really a deadline but was still driving him nuts and I'm so glad I'm out of the rat race), took a carriage ride with Jim through Central Park (no make-outs this time, although we did discuss at length the pending demise of civilization), and even managed to work in an inebriated dawn-time run to Battery Park. An evil monkey took control of the television, but we try not to think about it.
• After two nights at the Knitting Factory in NYC and partying with the fabulous East Coast TLG fans, it was time to cruise over to Philadelphia with bexy, who was kind enough to not only drive but let me crash at her house, which just happened to be a few blocks from the venue (North by Northwest), all the while making no comment at all about my slicing a gash through infinitives, not to mention my penchant for run-on sentences.
• The plan was a post-show brunch at Denny's, but they were proving rather busy. Tanya had no clue about anything, and when asked about free stuff she informed me there was another Denny's down by the airport. Yes, I know, I was there the last time I was in the area following music, this does not help me now.
  
• Rather than wait in the lobby for fifteen minutes, for some reason it was determined wiser to drive for forty minutes to the Olympic Diner, which brags the best breakfast in town, this town being the next one over. We took the available seats at the counter and were promptly ignored for another half an hour. Upon attempting to get someone's attention just to, y'know, let 'em know we were there and had cash money in hand ready to thrust in their fat little faces in exchange for edibles, one waitress cranked, to nobody in particular, "goddamn kids always in a hurry."
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1584 St. Clairsville, Ohio 1-Dec-96, 4:30pm EST 68296 Red Roof Lane, I-70 exit Mall Rd. (614) 695-2036

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Noelle
• What we ate: Nothing
• The only thing notable about this Denny's is that I didn't realize it was the last sign of life for about 40 miles, and almost ran out of gas looking for an ATM a bit further down the road.
• WAY: Yes (cook)
• Free Stuff: Santa Pin

Denny's #1593 Norfolk, Virginia 26-Jul-96, 8:00pm EDT 930 N.Military Highway at Military Circle Mall (804) 461-8470

• Attendees: P7A77, Seth "GothGrrl" Bartles, Conrad "He" Chuang, Corpse, Roger "Nim" Everett, Sven "Condor" Geier, Malcolm "Peri" Gin-Hopwood-y-Silva, Roger "Trism" Giner, Barbara "Eclipse" Reece, TWIST
• Wait-person(s): Lisa and Diana
• What we ate: P7A77 - Grand Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Coffee; GothGrrl - Fries, Coffee; He - Vegetable and Cheese Omelet, Fries, Rye Toast, Sweet Tea; Nim - Roast Turkey with Stuffing, Sweet Tea; Condor - Scram Slam, Coffee; Peri - Chicken Fried Steak, Fries, Root Beer Float; Trism - Charleston Chicken Dinner, Fries, Fruit, Large Tomato Juice with Lemon; Eclipse - French Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Meat on Side, Hash Browns, Coffee; TWIST - Chicken Fried Steak, Garden Salad with Ranch, Lemonade
• I was going to Virginia Beach for a little summer vacation, so I thought I'd be hitting up a lot of Denny's. Nope. This is the first Denny's I saw after driving over a thousand miles in the bus from Dayton, Ohio, to Norfolk, Virginia. I-64 is a vicious and unforgiving stretch of highway.
  Anyway, there was a party of sorts happening at Virginia Beach so I took some folks along with me to Denny's. (Don't worry.. I knew all these people before the trip.) We had a bitch of a time finding the place. According to my Denny's guide, it's located at the intersection of Rt. 13 and Rt. 58. What the guide fails to mention is that in the area there is also a Business Rt. 13. We stopped a few times for directions, but none of the locals seemed to know where it was either. Finally we saw a stretch of road with a Perkin's, a Big Boy, and an IHOP, so we figured that Denny's must not be much further. Thankfully, we were right.
  There were too many of us for one table so we had to split up. The waitress for my table, Lisa, had only been working for five days. Either I have an amazing ability to always talk with green workers or Denny's has a high turnover rate. I suspect the latter.
  A few quotes from the evening... "The fries are greasy.. they shine." -GothGrrl; "Bland." -Eclipse; "A bit too conventional; unsurprising." -Corpse
  Overall, though, it was a pretty good evening, though the service was a bit slow. So friendly and energetic were we that a couple sitting at the next table got up and left. I tried to get Lisa to give me a food tray, but she didn't seem terribly pleased with that idea. Fortunately for myself, the manager gave me one of the glasses that come with the root beer floats. Diana (the other waitress) was kind enough to look the other way while the other table took an orange juice carafe (which was later converted to a bong by TWIST the paraphernalia craftsman).
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: OJ Carafe, RB Float Glass

Denny's #1605 Auburn, California 26 September 2002 12:01pm PDT 1800 Auburn Ravine Rd. (530) 885-8857

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Courtney
• What we ate: Nothing
• That's Bob, talking on his walkie-talkie or CB radio or some such. Hi, Bob! Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Trucking Authority?
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1635 Monroe, Michigan 29-Nov-97, 4:30pm EST 1224 N. Dixie Hwy, off I-75 (313) 243-1833

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Amie
• Wait-person(s): who the hell knows
• What we ate: uncertain, tho' it's likely Adder had the Southern Slam, since he always has the Southern Slam.
• Okay. Bear with me. I had all my notes from a bunch of Denny's entries all compiled together, and I was preparing to update the pages. And they accidentally got thrown away. Okay, so it's my fault for never remembering to take a pad of paper with me so I end up writing the notes on a napkin or something. And it's my fault for waiting half a year before deciding to update these damn pages. So I'm just gonna make up stuff for the next few entries. If you don't like it, too bad. Not like many of the over one-hundred entries I've written so far are too much different from one another anyway.
• What I remember from this trip is that Amie and I were back in my home town of Toledo for Thanksgiving, and Adder drove up from Oxford to spend it with us. Since I knew Detroit had a whole bunch of suburbs, I figured there'd be a Denny's or two in the area. Amie had never been to Canada, so we justified our trip as being a drive to Windsor. Too bad it was such a rainy cold weekend. The first Denny's appeared rather soon, just over the Ohio/Michigan border. Adder informed me that Monroe was the home of La-Z-Boy, and lo and behold, a billboard corroborated his claim. We were also listening to Evolution Control Committee (courtesy of Adder), so it was a fun ride. The mighty hamburger.
• While I don't remember much from the Denny's experience itself, I do remember where we sat. It was in the row of booths that are to your right as you enter the place.. near the T-intersection of walkway. ...in case you're ever there and want to say "oh, look, that's where they sat!" I'm horrible at writing filler.
• WAY: ???
• Free Stuff: ???

Denny's #1647 Ontario, California 19 October 2000 7:40pm PDT 502 N. Vineyard (909) 937-1720

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Millie
• What we ate: nothing
• As I was approaching there was a lady sitting on the curb and rather loudly protesting to someone over a cellphone that she was not drunk. She saw me taking a photo and informed me that this is one of the few Denny's with a lounge, and that she was a bartender there. I didn't feel like letting her know that such beasts are more common that one would think. Denny's Lounges, that is, not drunk bartenders.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #1728 Los Angeles, California (Hollywood) 18 April 1999 2:20pm PDT 6100 Sunset Blvd. (323) 464-7470

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Kim Zaninovich
• Wait-person(s): Elisa
• What we ate: P7A77 - Meximelt Burger, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Grand Slam (w/ Hashbrowns instead of meat, eggs over easy), Coke; Kim - 2 Egg Breakfast (over hard), Hashbrowns, English Muffin, Water
• While in LA, Amie and I did a bit of the sightseeing. Our big event was our trip to Universal Studios (of course). Here is a photo of that. I would have proposed to Amie on the tour when Jaws popped out of the water, but, well, we're already married.
• An interesting Denny's-related chain is that the last time Amie was in LA (last year, on business), she and Kim went to San Peeeedro and visited a Denny's there. It's the very Denny's where Kim was when the big 1993 earthquake hit the area. Well, okay, it wasn't that interesting. But it reminded me of when I worked at Big Boy in high school and a tornado came by. That's also not terribly interesting. I'm going to finish this paragraph now.
• My Meximelt was cold, but otherwise good. Not spicy at all, though. The waitress forgot to bring my mayo. Amie's mock-Sunshine Slam was fabulous. Kim's Two Eggs "hit the spot".
• And in case you were wondering, here's what the back of the Denny's looks like with Amie and Kim standing by the wall.
• I've really got to start writing these reviews sooner.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: Burger & Coke promotional card (ripped out of the menu by Amie)

Denny's #1787 Colorado Springs, Colorado 23 January 2000 9:27am MST 8125 N. Academy Blvd. (719) 593-8853

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Tony
• What we ate: P7A77 - Sausage Skillet, Sourdough Toast, Coke; Amie - Grand Slam (no meat), Hashbrowns, Coke; Jon - Lumberjack Slam (eggs over easy), Sourdough Toast, Orange Juice
• Since Jon wouldn't stop being grumpy, we saved the rest of Colorado Springs for the trip home. And yes, I know that the title of this trip is a play on Denver's nickname, and I know that there are plenty of Denny's in Denver, Englewood, Aurora, and the rest of the suburbs, but we were going to a southern suburb, we were on a tight schedule, and we were there for family-related events, so there wasn't any time to make any special trips around the general area. We went to every Denny's we saw, which should be enough. If it isn't, make your own damn web page already. So no emails complaining that I didn't go to such and such Denny's in Denver!
• Ahem. On our way to this Denny's we noticed that our car was really starting to smell bad. A burning sort of smell. I had been none too kind to the clutch during some of my shift a couple of days previous, and I feared that we'd be stuck getting expensive repairs for a few days. When we stopped, we opened the hood and smoke started pouring out. Thankfully, it was just the battery. For some odd reason it decided to end its time here on earth and burn a hole in itself, spitting acid everywhere. Annoying and stinky and corrosive, yes, but expensive, no. Whew.
• But back to Denny's, we had one waiter, who was terribly perky and zesty and festive and even had a few pieces of "flair" on his shirt. He tried to be conversational, but Jon just glared at him. He said, "you're in a bad mood, huh?" Jon said, "YES." So Tony became our waiter.
• We were treated to more of Jon's humor during this meal. Must be the Lumberjack Slams. The story goes that a freshly-married couple was getting ready for the big night, but the virgin bride was nervous. She had been told it would be painful her first time, and was also anxious that she wouldn't know what to do and would be a bad lover. Her husband was understanding, and told her that if it made her feel any better, he was hung like a baby. The time came for the deed, and the husband came out of the bathroom naked and ready to go. The woman fainted. When she came to, she said, "I thought you said you were hung like a baby?" "I am," he replied. "6 pounds, 4 ounces, and 18 inches long."
• What would we do without Jon.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing
• Video: Mile High Club Part V (~2.6MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #1822 Woodbridge, Virginia 30-Nov-96, 6:30pm EST 13775 Jeffrey Davis Hwy. (703) 494-7788

• Attendees: P7A77, Corpse, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Wanda
• What we ate: P7A77 - Strawberry Shake; Corpse - Blueberry Shake; Amie - Vanilla Shake
• This is actually the Denny's we were aiming for on this little trip, and boy was it worth it! We originally set out for Woodbridge because a fan of the Project:Denny's pages knew I would be in the area and asked me to stop in and say hello to his mother and sister, both of whom work there. Unfortunately, neither of them were there when we were, but we still enjoyed our visit.
  First off, the waitress was there asking if we knew what we wanted as soon as we sat down, and was extremely friendly. We chatted during most of our stay.
  In addition to the serivce being superb, our shakes were excellent. Amie: "Thick and Rich." Corpse: "Full of Flavor." P7A77: "They have chunks of stuff in 'em!" I don't know if they'd have been worth five dollars, but they were damn good milkshakes.
  Not only were the employees helpful to us, but we ended up being helpful to them. One of the sinks that are used to store counter utensils started to overflow, so we quickly alerted the employees to the problem and they got right on it. The "Weird Al" lookalike almost burned himself, even. That's dedication.
• WAY: Richard (host/server)
• Free Stuff: Denny's Travel Guide, Take-Out Menu

Denny's #1823 Manassas, Virginia 30-Nov-96, 4:35pm EST 8201 Sudley Rd. (703) 369-2259

• Attendees: P7A77, Corpse, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Silvia and Mike
• What we ate: Nothing
• Finally an English-speaking Denny's! The special of the day at this Denny's was "Manager Mike's Saturday Delight Steak & Eggs". We were even lucky enough to not only meet Manager Mike, but get a photo with him.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Thanksgiving Feast Menu

Denny's #1838 Washington, Pennsylvania 1-Dec-96, 3:50pm EST 1395 W. Chestnut St., I-70 exit 4 (412) 222-5555

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Mary
• What we ate: Nothing
• Mary was very friendly to me, but she said she had only been there for two months, so maybe she just hadn't been broken yet.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Dessert Pin

Denny's #1846 Farifax, Virginia 30-Nov-96, 3:20pm EST 10473 Lee Hwy., junction of Rt. 123 & Rt. 50 (703) 273-8133

• Attendees: P7A77, Corpse, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelet, Hashbrowns, Coffee; Corpse - Fries, Coke; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Lemonade
• At first we were somewhat impressed by this restaurant because the waitress didn't need to write anything down, yet got our orders exactly right. However, that was eventually countered by the fact that she didn't check up on us once, and we were getting thirsty for refills.
  Luckily, though, that was made up for by the quality of the food. Corpse said that his fries were very good and that he even had to replenish his catsup many times. Amie noted that her Hammy was less greasy than usual. As to my Omelet... well, how can you go wrong with an Ultimate?
  Something interesting about this Denny's was that they had "special" menu items. The "Feature of the Day" when we were there was Eggs Benedict.
  Oh, by the way, the street sign and mugs had the new logo, but the sign on the side of the restaurant had the old logo.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #1924 San Luis Obispo, California 20 October 2000 12:15pm PDT 208 Madonna Rd. (805) 543-3138

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Dynia
• What we ate: nothing
• Ever since we started seeing signs for San Luis Obispo I knew that the name was familiar to me in some way, but I couldn't place it. Here is where I found out why.
• Dynia was wondering why I was doing all of this, and after everything I said just looked at me with wonderment and pity. When I asked about the Weird Al lookalike, she informed me that Al went to college at CalPoly in San Luis Obispo and did his early recordings in a bathroom there. Of course! That's why I knew the name! This is where Al learned to live and love!
• Since Dynia seemed to be hip to subversiveness, I asked her to give me a monkey bowl. She scolded me and said they were officially called vegetable dishes. I said she should give me one anyway. She did.
• WAY: No (sadly)
• Free Stuff: Vegetable Dish (NOT a Monkey Bowl)

Denny's #1970 Mesa, Arizona 02 February 2001 8:45pm MST 1150 S. Country Club Dr. (480) 833-2847

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): n/a
• What we ate: n/a
• I was running a bit late so when I walked in I went to the pay phones to give gramma a call, which involved walking through the restaurant and past the long front counter. Not surprisingly, returning to the front required walking through the store again. In other words, practically everyone in the place knew I was there. I stood up front for a few minutes waiting for someone to even look my way, let alone make an attempt to talk to me. I waited a few minutes more. A waiter coming on for his shift came in the front door, walked right past me, and then stood right up at the register talking to other employees for a while. Not a glance in my direction. He seemed like a bit of a dick anyway, parading around like a peacock. All this time I couldn't help but noticing that the place smelled like ass. It was really bad. I left.
• WAY: n/a
• Free Stuff: n/a

Denny's #1971 Blythe, California 19 October 2000 2:40pm PDT 876 W. Donlon St. (760) 922-331

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Renae
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke; Amie - Coke
• We were approaching the "Agricultural Station" at the border that I thought was just a front for a border stop (gotta make sure those borders are closed, ya know, since we rightfully killed, raped, and pillaged for this land ourselves). But it seems it's nothing more than a place to make people stop and get coupons. Happy day, they had coupons for Denny's! We should have gone back and gotten a few dozen more.
• The Denny's in question is right over the border. I saw a guy walking around who sort of looked like WAY (I think his name was Larry, but it may have been Lenny), but the waitstaff didn't mention him when I asked. I tried to get one of the "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pins, but nobody seemed to want to give them up, so I got a menu instead.
• WAY: Larry (maybe Lenny)
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #1974 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 12:30am MST 1601 E. Camelback Rd. (602) 266-9868

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Debbie
• What we ate: nothing
• Pretty mellow in here. This place is just down the road from another Denny's. Maybe they built this one for overflow, or maybe as a mellow alternative. But don't worry, there was still the contingent from the brooding counterculture youth.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Dessert Menu

Denny's #1977 Mesa, Arizona 13 May 2000 2:00pm MST 1210 E. Main (480) 962-4457

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Joshua
• What we ate: P7A77 - Mushroom Garlic Swiss (w/ Garden Patty), French Fries (with unordered chili and cheese), Water; Amie - Turkeyburger, Chili Cheese Fries, Iced Tea w/ Lemon
• On a whim we decided to drive up to Sedona, Arizona, and take a balloon ride. Rather than take I-10 all the way to I-17, we took the back way from Tucson to Phoenix, which means we got on Rt. 60 east of Mesa. I knew there were plenty of Denny's in Mesa, so I expected to have a nice bundle of entries. Well, it seems Mesa is against the idea of the outside world seeing their town, as the stretch of highway that runs through it has rather tall levee-type piles of dirt on either side. There were also no signs to indicate what sort of dining establishments were at any particular exit. Well, we were getting pretty damn hungry, so we just picked an exit that looked somewhat promising. We stopped at a gas station and asked for directions to the nearest Denny's, which included having us drive through some rather nasty construction and traffic. Hunger increasing. Patience wearing thin. Tempers rising. Finally... Denny's
• It looked like a retro-fit Denny's Diner, however instead of the new Diner text style, they had the angled Denny's text inside of the Diner logo. Nothing terribly exciting, but I gotta find something to talk about.
• Plenty of new seasonal items on the menu, including the Dagwood and the Triple Decker. I noticed that they now gave the option of substituting a gardenburger patty on any hamburger, which is rather nice. I mean, vegetarians aren't necessarily that way because of health reasons. They should have more options than bean sprouts and low-fat honeymustard. So in an attempt to be at least moderately healthy, I had them make the substitution on my mushroom swiss burger. Unfortunately, when Amie was asking for chili and cheese on her fries, the waiter thought she meant on my fries, too, so my efforts were thwarted. Blast.
• Our hand-shaking head-hurting low blood sugar moods we were in while waiting for our food was in no way helped by the people in the booth next to us. I was sitting with my back to them, but Amie could see what they were doing. At first I thought they were just cycling through the various ring modes on a cell phone, but Amie told me that not only were they doing that, they were calling each other on their individual phones. A guess some people are still amused and distracted with the sparkly lights and beeping sounds of 20-30 year old technology.
• Finally they stopped and I was able to concentrate enough to get some shots of some of the retro menus and advertisements they had on the wall. (It was a Denny's Diner, after all). The food arrived promptly and was rather tasty (except for my chili cheese fries, cuz I hate beans). The manager on duty, Jeff, secured my Free Stuff for the visit. He didn't seem terribly amused.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Hashbrowns Smothered & Covered Pin

Denny's #1978 Phoenix, Arizona 23-May-97, 6:00pm MST 3308 Grand Ave. (602) 274-1789

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Kenita
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's was pretty much exactly the same as so many other Denny's - an occurrence of which I am becoming increasingly annoyed at the frequency, but which only accentuates the extreme self-parody of this project. They were amused by and frightened of us, and they gave us something lousy for free. You know the drill.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Menu

Denny's #1983 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 3:35pm MST 12407 N. 28th Dr. (602) 942-9620

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Holly
• What we ate: nothing
• Holly seemed amused. Amused enough to give me a banana, at any rate.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug & Banana (in the mug)

Denny's #1998 Sacramento, CA 25 September 2002 11:30pm PDT 925 3rd St. (916) 443-1951

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Michael, Linnea
• Wait-person(s): N/A
• What we ate: N/A
• We got to Sacramento a bit later than expected, all fired up for some greasy heart-clogging food. The locals picked the closest Denny's and off we went, mouths salivating. Got there, parked, and I went for the establishing shot. I walked up to the front door and everyone was still standing there. I told 'em I already got a picture and we could go inside, but they pointed to a sign on the door.
• "Sorry were closed for Routeen Matience"
• Read that again, people. Words fail me.
• Routeen matience, as best as I could figure, was a staff meeting. They certainly weren't studying for the SATs.
• That plan soured, we gave the finger to the yellow and green and went to where this project should never tread: The International House of Pancakes. We get there, hungry for a rooty tooty full of fruity shake your bootie slam, and... CLOSED.
• Seriously, what the fuck? What the hell is wrong with this town?
• At least Taco Bell was open.
• Free Stuff: N/A

Denny's #2006 Youngtown, Arizona 04 February 2001 5:05pm MST 11121 NW Grand Ave. (623) 933-1380

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Cleo (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• This is near Sun City, Arizona - Retirement Community Capitol of the World. And boy, did it show. Cleo was as pleasant as can be. He first called Shane (the WAY) a "server assistant", then, as I looked confused, clarified with, "glorified busboy".
• WAY: Shane ("server assistant")
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #2011 Rolla, Missouri 17-Mar-96, 6:00pm CST 1811 N. Bishop, 1 block south of US Hwy 63 at I-44 (314) 364-4449

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Dawn
• What we ate: Chocolate Milkshakes
• This was generally a fairly good Denny's experience. They were over-staffed (staved?) because they were expecting a big rush from St. Patrick's Day, but other than a couple way in the back, we were the only customers in the restaurant. The milkshakes were very rich and quite good. Since everyone was there and nobody was working, we were able to get a picture with most of the staff (except for a couple of cooks). Even though they were quite friendly and happy to see us, the only free stuff we got was stuff that they give away free anyway. Bastards.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kid's Meal stickers and crayon

Denny's #2029 Melrose Park, Illinois 6 March 1999 4:50pm CST 8349 W. North Ave., across from Maywood Race Track (708) 450-0026

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Alma
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hot Chocolate; Amie - Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
• We were seated in the very back of this entirely empty Denny 's (see photo). Most of the people with whom we interacted during the entire trip were extremely mellow. Alma was no exception. Our order was "no problem" for her. When she brought our orders, she put them on the table very slowly. I think she was on ether.
• As I was sitting in the middle of all the inactivity, I realized what a moron I was for not reading my own Viewer Entry reviews for the various Chicagoland Denny's that are here at this very site. If I had, I would have at least been looking out for various features and people. I'll try to do better in the future. I'm a bit out of practice.
• Back to our purpose in Chicago, in addition to the college friends, Amie and I were also going to meet other friends of ours in the area, and as it turned out, they lived in the same area. Within walking distance, even. That night we ended up going to some crappy Greek restaurant. Actually, the restaurant probably wasn't that bad, but I ordered the Greek nachos, which really weren't what I expected. I expected them to be drastically different from Mexican nachos, but even still, they weren't what I expected. Oh, well.
• WAY: The Manager! (a sort of older, fatter, drunker Al, with a bad tie)
• Free Stuff: nothing (I was going to take a table display, but they were all sticky)

Denny's #2045 Flagstaff, Arizona 14 May 2000 10:20am MST 2122 S. Milton (520) 779-1371

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Kathleen
• What we ate: P7A77 - Dagwood Breakfast Slam (w/ Hashbrowns Covered and Smothered), Large Orange Juice, Water; Amie - Sunshine Slam (w/ Eggs Over Easy and Hashbrowns), Large Orange Juice, Water
• After Cottonwood we decided to just go back home to Tucson, but when we got back to I-17 we figured why not go to Flagstaff. And by now you probably know that we did. Cuz otherwise there wouldn't be an entry for it.
• The first hotel we went to was full. Uh-oh. Their reasoning was that it was graduation weekend. Thankfully, they pointed us to one that had a vacancy. After a nice night's sleep we asked the folks at the front desk what there was to do in Flagstaff. They told us we should go to Sedona. We opted for Denny's.
• The Dagwood Breakfast Slam sure is a lot of food. The sandwich included ham, eggs, sausage, bacon, and three cheeses on boule (boule, gramma!) bread. I could only eat half of it. Amie thought the waitress was one of the most attractive she's seen in a while. Granted, that's not a difficult feat at Denny's, but our waitress was quite handsome. I decided that I absolutely needed to have some Zoobs, so I bought four packs. The Texaco next door had a nice display of southwestern tourist shit, of which I felt obligated to take a photo.
• After breakfast we wandered around Flagstaff for a bit (they apparently have doggie tow trucks). On the way back home we stopped at Montezuma Castle (which is neither a castle nor was it ever inhabited by Montezuma) and had a beautiful time. And I know these photos would be more appropriate for the Camp Verde entry, but we didn't visit it then.
• So not much time spent in Sedona, but a nice short impromptu weekend trip nonetheless. Maybe next time I can figure out where all the Mesa Denny's are.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #2061 Greensboro, North Carolina 03-Jan-98, 12:30pm EST 3900 S. Holden Rd. (910) 632-1021

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): who cares
• What we ate: some sort of breakfast food, I think
• And, still yet again, I remember where I sat for some reason. It was on a table behind one of the waitstaff kiosk things, with a view of the kitchen. I also remember that this Denny's was pretty crowded, being a holiday weekend lunchtime and all. I also remember it being very good and tasty. Or maybe it was very bad and rancid. One or the other.
• I'll note that what I'm holding in the picture is one of my spiffy keen-o cool-a-licious k-rad new (at the time) "Project:Dennys" calling cards that I had printed up. Three color front and back on yellow stock. The front is the logo from the main page (cleaned up for pre-press, tho'), and the back lists Wally Pleasant's prophesy, the mission, and the URL. All in the style of the pages. Pretty damn cool. Of course, I've since changed URLs and I have about 900 of these freakin' things left. I'd offer to send some to viewers who wanted to mail in a SASE, but I don't want you freaks to have my address. Maybe some day I'll set up a PO Box and we can work it that way. For the time being I just leave them when I go to my local Denny's's, and drop them in "business card drawing" boxes. Haven't gotten any email from anyone who's found one yet, tho'. *sigh*
• WAY: ???
• Free Stuff: ???

Denny's #2066 Dale City, Virginia 30-Nov-96, 5:30pm EST 2861 Dale Blvd (Woodbridge) (703) 680-3089

• Attendees: P7A77, Corpse, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Melissa
• What we ate: P7A77 - Water; Corpse - Water; Amie - Coke
• On the map we had, Dale City wasn't listed, so this was a "found" Denny's for us, so we were happy. The Denny's in question did not share our attitude, though. Melissa (our waitress) was not amused by us, and by the end of our stay was even getting sarcastic - an attitude not at all becoming to her since she was also slow as all git-out.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Dessert Table Menu, two Flavored Coffee Menu Inserts, Silverware Set (all stolen)

Denny's #2104 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 7:35pm CST 4928 S. Cooper (817), 467-0354

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt, Teresa Gubbins
• Wait-person(s): Debbie
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Coffee; Amie - Nothing; Loree - Fries, Coffee; Richard - Nothing; Teresa - Coffee
• And so we grabbed media attention. This was the first of a small five-stop trek around Arlington, Texas. We met up with a writer and photographer for the Dallas Morning News here (the article was printed in the "Today" section on March 25, 1996, and will soon be available to read here). It's a fairly new Denny's (the DFW area sure seems to have a lot of new stores), and was pretty fancy looking. I was wearing the Denny's Tie Clip I got from the Ardmore Denny's, and the cook kept starting at it (as well as at the other members of our party). Teresa, the interveiwer, actually had heard of Wally Pleasant. Wow. The highlight of the evening was gettin' five whole smackaroos from Teresa. I should have kept it so as to represent the first payment (of hopefully gobs and gobs more) as a result of this project, but instead I used it to pay for my fries and coffee.
• WAY: Yes (Terrell - an older, fatter, balding Al, but as close as we could get. His attitude was nice and goofy, and personality goes a long way.)
• Free Stuff: Mini Easter Basket (with mini chocolate eggs)

Denny's #2110 Las Vegas, Nevada 26-May-97, 12:10am PDT 3771 Las Vegas Blvd. South (702) 736-6266

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): None
• What we ate: Nothing
• Hoo-boy, was this Denny's busy. There was a long line just to pay. I hung around for a while looking for my chance to talk to somebody, but to no avail. Oh, well. I was in a hurry to get to the next Denny's, anyway.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #4810 Tulsa, Oklahoma 18-Mar-96, 2:40am CST 4810 S. Yale at I-44 (918) 496-1423

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Dolly (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• Dolly couldn't seem to find anything to give me, so she stamped the back of a bandaid with the local information on it. At least she tried. At both of the Tulsa Denny's I visited, though, the person answering my questions, after finding out what I was doing, tried to get me to go to the other three Denny's in Tulsa, even after I explained that I was merely passing through town and not looking to stay more than necessary. Maybe they need the entertainment or something.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Lastoband brand Regular Adhesive Fingertip Dressing (2"x3/4") - Ventilated, Flexible, Fabric, Sterile

Denny's #6040 La Vale, Maryland 1-Dec-96, 3:50pm EST 1239 National Hwy., Rt. 40 exit 39 (301) 729-6600

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Kendra
• What we ate: P7A77 - Rye Toast, Coffee
• This was another strange-feeling Denny's. I think it might be a Maryland thing. There was no counter to sit at! At first I thought I would be forced to not only refrain from smoking, but sit at a booth as well; but the waitress asked me what my smoking preference was. I told her, and she took me off to a little room in the back of the restaurant. It was pretty much just a closed-off atrium. It was noisy and cold in there but at least I was able to enjoy a good nicotine fix with my cancer-ridden brethren. Fight the power!
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Customer Feedback Card

Denny's #6079 Cincinnati, Ohio Spring, 1996 (entry written on August 1, 1998) 595 Ohio Pike (513) 753-8587

• Attendees: P7A77, Firesign, Road Dog, Eos ("The Greek Goddess of Dawn"), Mugwump, Maia*
• Wait-person(s): ???
• What we ate: P7A77 - Moons Over My Hammy ("slop a little mayo on that!"), Coffee; Firesign - Moons Over My Hammy, Coffee; Road Dog - Coffee; Eos - Scrambled Eggs ("a little on the rubbery side"), toast ("brown with enough butter"), Orange Juice, Coffee; Mugwump - ???; Maia* - ???
• Sometimes you just get lucky. A couple of years ago I was attempting to visit all of the Cincinnati Denny's, but there was one in my Travel Guide that I just couldn't find. What was weird was that I had actually been there before and it wasn't where I would've bet money it had been. I even went to other Denny's in town and they looked at me like I had streams of blood pouring out of my ears when I asked about the Denny's on Ohio Pike. It wasn't until much later that I learned that there had indeed been a Denny's there, but it was shut down and turned into a Hooter's.
• But back to the luck. It turns out that, during one of my visits to it before it shut down, someone in my group took photos! And just last week she contacted me and asked if I'd be interested in seeing them! Yer damn tootin' right I want to see them! So not only do I get to write a review for the Lost Denny's, but I get to see a photo of Das Büs before the finished paint job. And now you can see it, too. Tho' actually, now that I think about it, there aren't any photos on these pages of the bus after the finished paint job. I suppose I should remedy that some day. But thanks to The Greek Goddess of Dawn for these wonderful photos! I'll never forget you!
• Moving on, I don't really remember much about this Denny's. But as you can tell from the photo, it was pretty funky looking inside. I remember where I sat, and that when I asked for my Moons Over My Hammy, I requested that the waitress "slop a little mayonnaise on that" (she put it on the side - damn her). And there was also some suuuuuuuuuuuuuave guy from England, who had a raincoat, a fine tailored suit, and a scarf. He looked like he just stepped out of GQ, and so was very out of place at Denny's. I think we talked with him, but I don't remember what came of it. Those of us there were pretty much either hung over or in various states of sobriety, so even with our collective recollection, that's about all we could dig up. But it sure is cool to write an entry for a Denny's that doesn't even exist any more.
• Oh, and on a side note. I called up the Denny's on Colerain to see if they could help me track down the store number for this establishment, and after a rather confusing conversation with the person who answered the phone (at first she thought I wanted the street address, then she thought I wanted the phone number, then she thought I wanted the 800 number, then she thought I wanted the address for her store... I don't think she ever realized what I was talking about), she gave the phone to her manager who basically said "that was a franchise store, and we're corporate owned, so I can't help you - goodbye." So I called up 1-800-7-DENNYS and asked if they could help me (since I had the Travel Guide, I knew the address and phone number of the store in question), and they were able to give me the information easy as pie. So if you haven't yet, be sure to give the lovely people at Denny's's PR line a ring, if for nothing else than to say hello.
• WAY: ???
• Free Stuff: ???

Denny's #6104 Rocklin, California 26 September 2002 11:28am PDT 4460 Rocklin Rd (916) 624-4800

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Steve, Cathy
• What we ate: Nothing
• If this Denny's a-rocklin, don't come a-knocklin.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Mug

Denny's #6212 Albuquerque, New Mexico 23 January 2000 4:15pm MST 2400 San Mateo Blvd. NE, I-40 exit 161 (505) 884-6574

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Chad
• What we ate: P7A77 - Classic Double-Decker Burger, Fries, Coke; Amie - Mozzarella Sicks, Gardenburger, Coke; Jon - Garlic Mushroom Burger (no pickles, no tomatoes), Fries, Coke
• Finally, the promised land. Tho' it wasn't my shift to drive, so Weird Al wasn't playing. We noticed that Albuquerque looks a whole heck of a lot like Tucson. My burger was a Bodacious Burger! It was Preposterously Prodigious! It was Outrageously Delicious! But to me, it just looked like a Big Boy Rip-Off! Amie's Gardenburger didn't come with cucumbers. Why do they lie about cucumbers? It always says cucumbers on the menu, yet we have yet to have them appear on the sandwich.
• They had some weird Burma-Shave style signs in there, which read "Time to Relax / Time for a Treat / Try our Coffee / It can't be Beat". Not sure how much coffee is supposed to relax you, but maybe they serve it with a side of crystal meth and a pile of sugar. This Denny's had some glass block partitions and fancy patterned booths. High-class stuff. While I was crouched down on the ground to get a photo of the signs and booths, our waiter asks me if I slipped and was building a case to sue them. Uh, yeah. Tho' I gotta be careful what I say about the waitstaff on these pages now, cuz I recently got an email yelling at me and threatening to sue me because I made some not-so-kind remarks about a not-so-good waiter a while back. People these days.
• I'd like to take this space to comment about how I get all these emails from waiters and managers saying that they have all sorts of free stuff and food to give me if I go to their restaurants (which are always thousands of miles away from anywhere I'm even thinking of going in the next year or so), yet when I go to a restaurant, people are usually very hesitant to give me anything. Though, I think Chad would have given us something better, except that their very tall manager was on duty and they didn't want to get fired. They figure she's about 6'6, but they're too afraid to ask.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: menu
• Video: Mile High Club Part VI (~1.5MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #6213 Santa Fe, New Mexico 21 January 2000 3:30am MST 3004 Cerrillos Rd. at Hwy. 85, I-25 N (505) 471-2152

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke; Amie - Coke
• Jon was sleeping in the car, so he doesn't get credit for this one. This place sure was crowded, especially considering the late hour. Tho' in Tucson the bars close at 1am, so they could have a more realistic closing time in Santa Fe. It was a good mix of people... young punks crowded into booths, old-timers at the counter... there was no smoking, however, which made the mix and density a bit odd. Maybe no place else was open.
• According to Amie, the women's restroom was beyond vile. Toilet paper on the floor, sticky toilet seats, and vomit in the stalls. Thankfully, the men's restroom was better by comparison.
• I was a bit miffed because I missed all four Denny's in Albuquerque. I even made a special point to put have Weird Al's magnum opus of the same name playing on the CD player. Damnit. I vowed to get at least one on the way back.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: a napkin drawing of someone sitting a few seats down that had been left at the counter

Denny's #6219 Delaware, Ohio 1-Dec-96, 8:00pm EST 1003 Us. Hwy 23 N. (614) 369-4425

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Gilbert (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• The person I originally spoke to pawned me off to the manager (Gilbert) shortly after I told her what I was doing. Gilbert was generally unamused until I asked for free stuff, at which point he chuckled. I think it was because he then fully understood my little scam. At first I thought he was going to give me a chef's baseball Denny's cap, but he gave me a cook tie clip and a Minute Maid pin. Ah, well. Maybe next time.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Cook Tie Clip, Minute Maid Pin

Denny's #6229 Dundee, Michigan 25-Oct-96, 9:35pm EDT 635 Tecumseh Rd., US Hwy 23 exit 17 (313) 529-3880

• Attendees: P7A77, Ken Apel, Angelique DuPres, Cindi Fountain, Drew Milcdajczyk, Chris Moore, Jim
• Wait-person(s): Lisa and Michelle
• What we ate: Nothing
• If the people in the photo look a tad bit more frightening than usual, it's because they're all members of the Rocky Horror cast in Toledo. It was the week before our big Halloween shows, and we were taking Das Bus up to Ann Arbor to pick up some props and sets that a friend of Cindi's had sitting on her porch collecting dust. We didn't eat anything because we were anxious to get to Ann Arbor and figured, heck, we'd get something to eat there. Boy, were we wrong.
  On a side note, this Denny's was on the same road that I was driving on when I witnessed a particularly viscious truck accident a few years back. No worries, the person involved wasn't hurt terribly bad, just very, very drunk. The truck was totalled, tho'.
• WAY: Dave (cook) and Will (cook)
• Free Stuff: Grand Value Menu (7 of them!)

Denny's #6259 North Baltimore, Ohio 31-Mar-96, 9:10pm EST 13081 Deshler Rd., off I-75 (419) 257-2209

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Aaron T. Porter, Kasey Princell, Chris Roehl, Dan Springer, Kristen VonGruben, Anne Wooster, Josh "The Bear" Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Jamie (supervisor)
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's had a fairly cool atmosphere to it. It was definitely a Trucker's Denny's. They even had a huge-ass parking lot in the back for trucks (or busses) to turn around in. Apparantly earlier in the day, some famous race-car driver was there signing autographed pictures. Plus, we found out that some Denny's have a special "Truckers Meal", and that this Denny's is the one that prints up the "buy six get one free" cards. If that weren't enough, the lobby reeked of pot smoke.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "Truckers Meal" Card, Autographed Picture of some famous race-car driver

Denny's #6273 Huron, Ohio 27-Nov-96, 4:15pm EST 2109 Cleveland Rd. W (419) 433-6267

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Shelby
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee
• Over Thanksgiving weekend, I went to Washington, DC, to meet up with some friends and eat some turkeys (or was it the other way around?). Unfortunately, the easiest and quickest way to DC from Toledo, Ohio, is via the turnpikes, and anyone who knows the Ohio and Penna Pikes knows that they're Big Boy territory. So, to increase my chances of hiting some Denny's, I took Rt. 2 from Toledo to Cleveland. Plus, that way I was able to see more nuclear power plants.
  The first Denny's I got to was in lovely Huron, Ohio. I cannot even hope to be able to accurately express the pure concentrated bliss that coarsed through my veins as I spotted the Denny's sign from the highway. There it was. The sign on the highway was brand-spankin'-sparklin'-new, too. But, when I spotted the actual restaurant, I saw that the logo on the store was the old style, which excited me even more.
  When I entered the restaurant, there was only one other customer there, and she was off in a booth reading a book or something. I sat down at the counter, ordered my black coffee (which arrived in a mug sporting the old logo), and proceded to chat with Shelby, my waitress. She told me that she had been there for an hour and that I was her first customer, indicating that the person in the booth had been there even longer. It must've been a good book.
  Shelby was not one who was in love with Denny's. In fact, I doubt she even liked Denny's. She told me that she had been working there for three years. At first, I thought she then told me that she was fifteen years old (meaning that she started working there when she was twelve), but after a few confusing comments, it was revealed that she started working there when she was fifteen. I still think she had been violating some sort of child labor law, though. No matter, she was perfectly legal when I was there, in every sense of the word. That is, she was legal in every sense of the word; I wasn't "there" in every sense of the word. Get your minds out of the gutter, you damn sex-starved cradle-robbers.
  Even though there was only one person in the restaurant when I arrived, there were thirteen other people when I left, including a cook named Jason who was sitting at the counter with me.
  All in all, a fairly positive Denny's experience, and some damn fine coffee to boot.
• WAY: No (not for at least 3 years)
• Free Stuff: Senior's Discount Card

Denny's #6279 Dayton, Ohio 6-Jul-96, 6279pm EDT 7901 Brandt Pike (513) 237-1790

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Kasey Princell
• Wait-person(s): Wendy
• What we ate: Nothing
• Still on our way to Springfield. Kasey and J-R had been drinking all night and were starting to get sort of annoying.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: OJ Carafe Insert, RB Float Pin

Denny's #6286 Bluffton, Ohio 31-Mar-96, 9:30pm EST 851 S.R. 103 (419) 358-8581

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Aaron T. Porter, Kasey Princell, Chris Roehl, Dan Springer, Kristen VonGruben, Anne Wooster, Josh "The Bear" Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Stacey (waitress), Chris (supervisor)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chocolate Shake, John - Chocolate Shake, J-R - Choclate Sundae, Aaron - Vanilla Shake, Kasey - Vanilla Shake with Barq's Root Beer
• They seemed quite happy and eager to see us there. We found out later (while we were leaving) that the N. Baltimore Denny's phoned ahead and warned them that there was "a bus full of hippies" arriving. A fun time was had by all, and Chris (the cute supervisor) seemed quite amused. He even came in Das Büs for a photo (but, alas, he would not come with us). It should be noted here that Chris is only 19 years old, and he's already flyin' all around the country to open new Denny's. He's even been paid to go to Florida.
  In the bathroom was written several things, amoung the more interesting being, "Christ is the Answer", "KKK all the Way", and "If you read this, they will come."
  Chris was kind enough to score us all sorts of great Denny's stuff, including a Denny's quick-reference cookbook. Now I can make all my Denny's favourites at home.
  All in all, a fine end to the first Das Büs trip.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Chef's Hat (with insults written on the inside), Cooks' Training Program Evaluation Booklet, Cooks' Quick Reference Guide, "Stacey" Pin

Denny's #6306 Tempe, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 5:15pm MST 825 S. 48th St. at University & Hohokam Expwy. (602) 829-0907

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Shirley
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hot Fudge Sundae, Water; Amie - Cocounut Cream Pie, Coke, Water
• I've never hated a Denny's as much as I hate this one.
  Okay. Here's the deal. We drove down University looking for the Hohokam Expressway and 48th street. We passed the expressway and saw 48th on the left. We drove down it. We kept driving down it. No Denny's. We turned around and went back down University. We saw 48th street on the other side of University (and the other side of the expressway). We turned into what we thought was the road, but it was in actuality the on-ramp for the expressway. About a mile later, we took the next exit, which turned out to be a junction for another expressway. After making a big loop, we turned onto the other 48th street. We drove down it. We kept driving down it. No Denny's. We turned around and were about to go back down University again when we saw the Denny's - hidden in some trees - across the street. It seems that there are two 48th streets that run parellel to each other on either side of the expressway.
  In addition to this store being impossible to find, the wait-staff was boring, the water tasted awful, there was a crazy ventilation system in the ceiling, and the atmosphere was just no fun at all. There were even two entrances. I asked one of the waitresses if they had a separate bar or something, and she looked confused. I asked why there was a second entrance on the outside, and she looked even more confused. On our way out, I investigated it on my own and saw that it was some sort of banquet room or something.
  I hate this Denny's.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coca-Cola Pin, Stickers

Denny's #6309 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 12:50am MST 8801 N. 7th St. (602) 997-2011

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Linda (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• Maybe it was the margaritas from earlier in the evening, or maybe it was the several cups of coffee a couple Denny's previous, but I certainly left this Denny's lighter than I arrived, and that's including the mug that Linda gave me.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #6317 Gainesville, Texas 18-Mar-96, 9:55am CST 1938 I-35 (817) 665-2565

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Gayla (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• When I asked the manager where I was, she said, quite proudly, "You're in Gainesville, TEXAS". The "no concealed handguns" sign next to the front door helped drive home the fact that I was finally in Texas. Gayla, the manager, was great, and gave us a tie clip (like the ones the cooks wear), a Coke pin, and a four-foot tall "Lunch Baskets" poster. Hell, I was expecting another damned Minute Maid pin.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's Tie Clip, Coke Pin, Lunch Basket Promotional Poster

Denny's #6327 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 1:55pm MST 4120 N. 51st Ave. (602) 247-4195

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Kelli
• What we ate: nothing
• I'm glad I didn't eat here. Kelli was generally clueless as to everything around her. Besides, they were pushing their seafood dinners. I don't know about you, but eating seafood at a second-rate franchise diner in the middle of the desert isn't exactly top on my "things to do before I die" list. It might end up being the last.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6343 Knoxville, Tennessee 19-Feb-96, approx. 5:00am 119 Merchants Dr. NW at I-75 (615) 689-6092

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Coffee
• This is one of the fanciest Denny's I've seen to date. Not only does it have a cool fake stucco exterior, and not only does it have special dining rooms, but it's attached to a Howard Johnson's! Can you believe it?! The wait-staff was very friendly, and even told us how to get free Peppermint Patties out of the vending machine (ya gotta hit it just right). They seemed fairly amused by us, as well, even going so far as to have the cooks come out to talk with us.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's 'Til Dawn menu

Denny's #6348 Scottsdale, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 2:40pm MST 9160 E. Indian Bend Rd. at Pima Rd. (602) 991-2909

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Donna
• What we ate: Nothing
• Donna started shaking her head 'no' before I even finished asking her my questions. I think she gave us stuff just to get us out. I hope that, if I ever leave my house keys at a Denny's, they don't give them away to any random freaks that walk in asking stupid questions.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: House Keys and Barbie Shoe (from lost-n-found)

Denny's #6356 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 3:25pm MST 10614 N. 43rd Ave. (6020) 439-2337

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Jesus, Sue
• What we ate: nothing
• I went in and Jesus started to field my questions, but then had to get his boss. I wondered if God was coming out to talk to me, but it turned out to be Sue. That's okay, I'm not Christian, so it probably would have put me in quite an awkward situation.
• WAY: Justin (ex-server)
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug (chipped)

Denny's #6357 Peoria, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 6:25pm MST 8737 NW Grand Ave. (602) 486-5510

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Patty
• What we ate: Nothing
• Still pretty much the same, but at least they gave us a good quote at this one: "Y'know, I've seen a lot of weird things in my time, but you guys are the weirdest." That's the sort of reaction I revel in.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kids Menu, Stickers, and Crayons

Denny's #6364 Baker, California 12 October 2001 12:30 PDT 350 West Baker Boulevard (760) 733-4316

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jason
• What we ate: nothing
• Sooooooo many signs. So many. There was no missing this Denny's. We saw billboards advertising this Denny's when we were "45 minutes" away. Then again at 35 minutes. Then 25 minutes. Then 22 minutes. Then 20 minutes. Then... nothing! I got a little worried. Then after a bit we saw that the next two miles of litter pickup was thanks to Denny's, so I knew we were at most 2 minutes away.
• When we got there, we saw why they didn't have more highway signs... they were saving them for the actual restaurant. There was a big one by the highway saying "THIS EXIT", one across the street from the restaurant pointing across the street, one on the same side of the street, and then the actual Denny's restaurant sign. It's not like this is a bustling town, either. The whole purpose of it seems to be to give you somewhere to stop off the highway. In fact, the exit and re-entrance to the highway involve driving through the main drag of the town, as if the whole thing were one big exit ramp.
• On a side note... earlier in the day I saw signs for a town called Yermo. Being the childish buffoon I am, I giggled every time. While walking back to the car, I saw a sign advertising it from the other direction. A quick bit of photo editing gave me a sense of closure.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #6365 South Burlington, Vermont 16 August 2004 1:15pm EDT 730 Shelburne Road (802) 863-4000

• Attendees: P7A77, Lindee
• Wait-person(s): Laurie
• What we ate: P7A77: Bagel, Coke; Linee: Bagel, Fruit, Coffee
• As I live a spartan lifestyle with few expenses, I like to treat myself from time to time. I figured, hey, I'm going to the last Phish shows, I'll be driving through lovely countryside, and I'll likely be stuck in traffic on a mountain for twenty hours. I'm getting a goddamn convertible. Best. Decision. Ever.
• After a stop at Target for last-minute supplies, we spent a bright sunny day tearing through the back roads of New Jersey and New York. Nice twisty rolling two-lane country highways, wind in our hair, in a vehicle that performs mildly better than my old Geo Metro. No photos from this part of the trip because I was too busy challenging the sound barrier to think about that sort of thing. Made it to Vermont by nightfall, started seeing other folks with the same destination, and then hit The Line. We were thirty miles from the venue before midnight, and twenty-nine miles away after sunrise. But that's okay because we got to nap under the stars, with occasional interruptions like one guy humping our tailpipe because he was out of whisky. It made sense to him, so we didn't question it.
• We expected traffic, but at the rate things were going, we'd have made it to the festival about ten days after it was over. Obviously something was up. As the story goes, there was an unusually high level of rain the previous few days and it didn't mix so well with the fresh sod laid down for the campers. Torrential downpouor plus fields of loose dirt equals assloads of mud. Waist-deep. Entire vehicles went missing. We listened to the festival radio station for updates and instructions, and were eventually delivered the worst news possible: they were turning cars away. People who had been planning for months, had traveled for thousands of miles, aching for their last chance to see their favorite music were being told, too bad so sad bye bye now. A wave of shock fell over all of us, and a lot of people just upped and drove off in a huff. We had been queued up in one lane to allow non-festival traffic to pass, but now everyone was driving everywhere, nobody sure what to do. At one point we were behind a pickup with a young woman facing backwards in the truckbed wearing the saddest expression ever. It damn near broke my heart, and I'm a rather cantankerous son of a bitch. I had to switch lanes, it was so bad. I had my own sad face, but I still wasn't convinced that I wasn't going to see the damn show, so it's not really "sad" so much as a mixture of shock and denial and determination. I figured at the very least some people would congregate and we could chill out and listen to the shows over the radio and see how things looked the next day. Finally made it to a rest area where there was already a happenin' scene underway. Got myself some food that wasn't a Clif Bar and took a nap on the grass under a tree.
• I woke up a few hours later and everybody was gone. Cars were there, but no people. Not one soul. What the hell? What had I missed? I figured some had decided to hoof it, but everybody? It was seriously spooky. Oh well, whatever, I took the opportunity to clean up a bit and organize the car. Eventually a local woman drove up and informed us that people had parked up and down the freeway and fast-thinking farmers had been giving people rides. Hotcha! Lucky for us she had decided to do one more run around the rest areas, as most everyone had already been transported. We hurriedly packed up a couple of small bags and jumped in her van. Samantha, Blaze, Allen, and Tammy were their names, and the daughter was just loving the shit out of everything, getting to meet all sorts of new and interesting people. They were all incredibly friendly and supportive and pleased as punch to have us there. What a welcome! But it gets even better for me. The cops had been allowing the locals to drop people off about five miles from the front of the venue, but when we got there, they decided to let us drive past their checkpoint, to just a mile from the back gate. Let this be a lesson to all of you: patience is a virtue. I didn't get pissy and drive off, I didn't rashly decide to walk twenty miles, and I napped through the first waves of local shuttles. As a result I had probably the easiest time getting there of anyone attending. I'm sorry for the rest of you, but, hey, good deal for me.
• The walk was relatively mild, and it appears some people started partying a little early, as a few were fascinated by a tree. Or maybe that's just the angle I caught 'em at. Lots of nice Americana scenery, too. Before long we were relaxing and enjoying gyros at our campsite, which was in the ass-end of the venue, but it was high and dry and relatively easy to get to. By the next morning the mud had mostly dried into a paste, but that photo doesn't even begin to capture it. Imagine that sort of thing everywhere, but in the middle of the night on day three of never-ending rain.
• We set up for the last show and made nice with the folks around us. Tina from New Jersey was our immediate neighbor and there was apparently some sort of VT/NJ rivalry that I couldn't even begin to understand. The crowd filled in nicely for a resplendent afternoon and emotional evening. All I'll say about it for now is that I've been a Velvet Sea fan ever since it brought me back from a spooky Tweezer at Shoreline '00, and to all you Velvet haters out there... how the hell can you spew nastiness about it now that we have this version? I'm getting misty now just thinking about it.
• The next day the shuttle services were a bit more organized and we hopped a ride in the back of a truck to return to the rest stop. We went to Burlington to check out the origins, but my heart just wasn't in it, and we were running on little more than three days' worth of Red Bull by this time. We collapsed in the Denny's, where I remember staring off into space a whole lot and repeatedly walking all the way to the back to the restroom only to find that it was still occupied.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6375 San Francisco, California 24 June 2001 1:10pm PDT 1700 Post Street (415) 563-1400

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Sonya
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Spam, Scrambled Eggs, Kimchee, Steamed Rice, Milk, Coke; Adder - Farmer's Slam, Hashbrowns, Coke; Sonya - Club Sandwich, Coke, Grasshopper Blaster Milkshake
• Adder come down to visit me for Bingo in San Jose, so I returned the favor for Pride March with him and his lovely wife in San Francisco. And rather than take the advice we received there as to what we should eat, we went to Denny's in Japantown.
• You read that right. I ate Spam. At Denny's. That's why I wanted to go there in the first place. I'd heard from many people that one can get Spam there. I'm not afraid to say that I like Spam. I've made it several times myself. One of my favorite things to do is fry up some Spam, scramble some eggs (with white and yellow American cheese melted on top), toast up some sourdough, slop on some mayonnaise, add a touch of Tabasco, and throw it all together. That's right. Moons Over My Spammy.
• But I digress. Turns out I couldn't just have them serve Spam with any meal (or possibly follow my Moons recipe), but had to order it from a special menu, as part of a special meal. Rice and Kimchee, with the eggs. Hell yeah! Korean food with Spam in the Japantown Denny's. Bring it on! I ordered Coke when I sat down, but once I saw that I was getting kimchee, I added milk to my order. I ain't no fool.
• The food wasn't bad. I was a little frightened of the kimchee. It was stuffed in a little monkey dish, but every time I pulled a piece out, twice as much seemed to replace it. The Spam was... well... it was Spam. Would have been better on a sandwich. But still tasty and Spamariffic!
• The Denny's itself is pretty cool. Part of a little mini shopping area, and it's two stories. It was very small and very crowded, but they were very fast. We were in and out faster than we usually are at most other Denny's on a good night. So was Adder's food. He suffered from food poisoning shortly after we left. I was fine, though. No more or less gassy than usual. Mmm, kimchee.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: diarrhea

Denny's #6376 Garden City, Georgia 26 December 1998 5:55pm EST 4200 Augusta Rd., Hwy. 21 N Exit 19 (912) 966-1500

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Kaiser (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• After two less than stellar Denny's, we needed a pick-me-up, especially since this was the last Savannah area Denny's. When we saw still yet another freaky Denny's/Hotel marraige, our hopes were not high. We hadn't seen so many bizarre Denny's in a row since Vegas. But Kaiser delivered. He was overly friendly and answered all our questions, and he did it with no voice. It seemed a painful effort for him to speak, and he never missed a beat. When we asked for something free, he just handed over a menu without blinking. What a guy.
• WAY: Recently Hired Manager (maybe)
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #6399 Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin 2 October 2002 3:09pm CDT 600 S. Frontage Rd. (608) 254-7825

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): 521
• What we ate: P7A77: Vegetable Omelette; Amie: Classic Burger
• Passed into Minnesota where they have full-service gas. There and New Jersey. They also advertise "Unleaded", and the machines are analog. Remember what I said about bringing back the 70s? Fortunately, we didn't have to wait in line for three days to gas up. Selective nostalgia.
• How did we know we were in the midwest? Let me break it down for ya. Corn, corn, weird folkart, corn, trains, and corn. Oh yes, also there was corn. We had to suffer through 'til Wisconsin to hit the Denny's in question. They had recently cleaned the floors and left the welcome mat folded up, practically begging to find its way into someone's trunk. I was tempted.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6404 Withamsville, Ohio 14-Aug-96, 7:40pm EDT 595 Ohio Pike (513) 753-8587

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Kim and Allen
• What we ate: Grand Slam, Eggs Scrambled, Coffee
• Since I had no luck on the way to Virginia Beach, I took a slightly different route on the way home so that I would hit a couple that I knew about. It was still quite a long drive between Denny's, though. They were all nice and friendly and wondered a bit about the bus. Kim answered my questions and Allen, the manager, waited on me. Allen seemed a bit overly concerned with the coffee. Actually, he kept trying to sell me on Perkin's coffee. I think he may have had a bit too much his own self. The pancakes were a bit undercooked and chewy, but I didn't mind too much since Grand Slams are only $1.99 during the day. Boy was I surprised when I got to the register and found that this Denny's charges full price for them after 4pm. Most places change the price at 10pm. Stinking bastards.
• WAY: Used to
• Free Stuff: "D-Ring" (cook's tie clip)

Denny's #6405 Berea, Kentucky 19-Feb-96, 3:00am 1200 Walnut Meadow (606) 986-2880

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's is just a bit down the road from the one in Richmond, and we had just eaten quite a large meal, so we just stopped in, got all the information and stuff we wanted, and left.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Steak dinner menu insert

Denny's #6415 Mt. Vernon, Kentucky 19-Feb-96, approx. 3:15am 1610 Richmond St. (606) 256-5002

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• What we ate: Nothing
• This one is even closer to the Berea Denny's than the Berea Denny's is to the Richmond Denny's. The wait-staff was very pleased to see us, though, as they didn't seem terribly busy. They were so pleased, in fact, that they gave us a free coffee mug. Hell, we would've settled for a placemat.
• WAY: Yes
• Free Stuff: coffee mug

Denny's #6423 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 3:00pm MST 2360 W. Northern Ave. (602) 995-2653

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Leyla & Company
• What we ate: nothing
• I knew this was a cool place when I walked in. Cathy (who I think was a manager) was standing at the front register, talking on the phone, and smoking. She sort of glanced my way, but pretty much ignored me. Then she ashed in the receipt bucket next to the register. Classic.
• Finally Leyla came by to help me. She said there was a sort of WAY lookalike, but that he was the owner and he needed a wig and so not to put down that she said that. So, uh, okay, Leyla didn't say that. One of the other employees was ready to give me a big plastic credit card sign that they had under the counter, but then another manager type came out and said no. Oh, well. It was still a fun place.
• WAY: Andrew (owner)
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6430 Knoxville, Tennessee 19-Feb-96, approx. 5:15am 220 Cedar Bluff Rd. (615) 691-1680

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R, Josh Wyen, Chris Roehl
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• This was perhaps one of the worst Denny's experiences of my life. This was the final Denny's on the Gatlinburg trip, and we were just about ready to get off of I-75 and take the country highways to Pigeon Forge. We had a pretty good idea of where we were, but we asked the waitress to point out our exact location on our map, just to be sure. After she looked at the map for a while, she pointed to a location about thirty miles away from where I knew our approximate location was. She wasn't even pointing anywhere close to Knoxville. We should have realized to stop asking questions then, but we asked her what she felt the best way to get to Pigeon Forge (which was about 30-40 miles away) was. She got all confused again, then started pointing at the map. Her hand was visibly shaking, and she was pointing in a direction that wasn't only the wrong direction, but on the wrong side of the I-40. We were trying to go southeast, but she was pointing us northeast, saying things like, "Don't go through Georgia... go through Strawberry Fields... that'll get you there...", and I could have sworn she was twitching. We thanked her for her help and got the hell out of there. We didn't even bother to get a photo inside.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: sugar tray (stolen)

Denny's #6438 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 9:10pm CST 3002 W. Pioneer Pkwy. & Rt. 303, near Forum Mall (817) 633-1821

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt
• Wait-person(s): Flo
• What we ate: Nothing
• This had a sort of weird remodeling. The outside sign had a new rectangular shape, but the old (and better) logo. Variety is the spice of life, I suppose.
• WAY: Yes (Chris - waiter)
• Free Stuff: Chef's Hat

Denny's #6451 Mojave, California 12 October 2001 9:20am PDT 16262 Sierra Highway (805) 824-1748

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Regina
• What we ate: nothing
• We walked up to this Denny's with the intention of using their restrooms. A sign on the front door informed us that restrooms are for customers only. We weren't going to buy anything. We risked it.
• It was a busy morning, during a shift that's usually not too friendly towards me, and we just barged in to use their facilities. In spite (or perhaps oblivious) of all of that, Regina was friendly and gave me a menu. As Amie wisely spoke soon after: You can't judge a Denny's by its front door sign.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Dessert Menu

Denny's #6454 Camp Verde, Arizona 13 May 2000 4:35pm MST I-17 and State Highway 260 (520) 567-9505

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Shawn, Kelly, and Aaron
• What we ate: nothing
• Amie decided to visit the Montezuma's Castle gift shop, so she doesn't get credit for this one.
• We finally got out of Mesa, and were met by construction on I-17. They had signs indicating that people would be wise to take an alternate route, and even pointed towards a different highway. However, once on said highway, there was no indication as to how to get back going north on I-17. Sure, the locals might know such things, but not out-of-towners like us. Fortunately, we had a road atlas, so all was good, though filled with traffic lights.
• As it turns out, this Denny's was conveniently located at the exit we were planning on taking to get to Sedona. Fancy that. The kind folks inside were all rather amused, and gave me a good bit of free stuff.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Hanging Wishbone Plush Toy Display

Denny's #6463 Hardeeville, South Carolina 26 December 1998 5:30pm EST Hwy. 17, I-95 Exit 5 at Day's Inn (803) 784-2281

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: Nothing
• We saw in the Denny's Travel Guide that there was a Denny's off exit 5 of I-95 in South Carolina. Since we were on I-95 in Georgia right over the border from South Carolina, we decided to take our chances that the exit numbering started on the south end. And I was really hoping to be able to visit a town called "Hardeeville"
• As we drove into Hardeeville, a sudden fog seemed to set. Spooky. And a frightening as all hell Denny's. First off, just look at it. That's not a place into which you want to stumble at 3 a.m. while under some sort of chemical influence or another. And after just a few seconds of asking my standard questions, the manager asked, quite menacingly, "And your survey pertains to WHAT?!?!" We ran away, never to return.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6476 Scottsdale, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 3:25pm MST 7605 E. McDowell Rd. (602) 481-9709

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Dovie (Certified Trainer), Katie
• What we ate: P7A77 - Lemonade; Amie - Lemonade
• This Denny's looked like it had been converted from some other fast-food restaurant. It even had a spot where the drive-through window looked like it would have been. Katie said that it had been a Denny's for at least seventeen years, so I suppose they just like it that way. The counters and seats, for some reason, were incredibly short. We pointed this out to a waitress, and she didn't seem to know what we were talking about. But trust me - they were really short. Close to the ground, that is; not inconsiderate.
  They gave us lousy free stuff, but they were exceedingly friendly during our entire tenure, so we let it slide.
• WAY: Wasn't Sure
• Free Stuff: Bib

Denny's #6479 Elizabethtown, Kentucky 22-Mar-96, 6:00pm EST 2008 N. Mulberry Ave. (502) 765-4164

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Amie (not Vanderford)
• What we ate: Nothing
• Not to be outdone in the way of gift shops in Kentucky, this one had a fuckin' huge one. I'm not kidding. The gift shop was big enough to justify a whole separate room. I think it might have had something to do with the Day's Inn that was connected to the Denny's, tho'. As another bonus, there's a White Castle right next door, in case the quality of Denny's food is too high for you.
• WAY: Yes (Matt - cook)
• Free Stuff: Denny's To-Go Plasticware

Denny's #6491 Mesa, Arizona 02 February 2001 6:45pm MST 1231 W. Baseline Rd. (480) 838-5070

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Ramon
• What we ate: nothing
• I took a couple of shots of my window reflecting the reflection off my mirror, then went to view the pictures in the camera, at which point all the other photos on the disk were destroyed. Damnit. I promise this is the last you'll hear of it. And it turned out for the best anyway, since I got a better shot in Chandler and a much more enjoyable image for Tempe.
• Ramon gave me a VIP Discount Card, good for 10% off my entire party's order the next time I visit this Denny's, which of course will be never, so thanks for nothing, Ramon.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: VIP Discount Card

Denny's #6494 Colorado Springs, Colorado 23 January 2000 11:07am MST 4375 Sinton Road (719) 598-5769

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Tracy (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• This was a teeny tiny Denny's. One bonus is that it's near a street called "Garden of the Gods". More streets and cities should be given names of this kind. It pleases me to no end to know that there's a King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. I thought I might buy a few packets of ZOOBS to play with on the long drive back home, but figured I'd just get 'em at the next Denny's (which was the last in Colorado Springs.. or, rather "Col Spgs" as the signs liked to say).
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: menu

Denny's #6515 Tucson, Arizona 24-Jan-97, 11:00am MST 3655 East Speedway Blvd. (520) 326-4061

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Amy
• What we ate: P7A77 - Fruit Stack w/Strawberries, Hashbrowns, Coffee; Amie - All American Slam w/Ham, Orange Juice, Water
• More mountains! And cacti! Well, okay, not many mountains since this Denny's is in central Tucson, but you can see them from the window.
  When I opened the menu, I lay my eyes on a brand new menu insert, featuring a whole slue of new food items, including fruit pancakes and the Ham Scram. The big news, though, is for you crazy vegetarians, vegans, lacto-vegans... er, non-meat eaters out there. For years now the Original Grand Slam Breakfast has been offered at a special low price during the day. If you've ever tried to get hashbrowns substituted for the bacon and sausage, you know that they don't allow that sort of thing. Their reasoning is that since it's at such a low low price (tho' recently changed to a dollar less low) they can't allow substitutions. I guess it throws off their inventory or something. Well now you don't have to argue with the server about the Grand Slam because you can get a vegetarian version! It's the same as the Grand Slam, except instead of sausage and bacon you get you choice of hashbrowns, sliced tomato, or fresh fruit. This marvel of modern breakfasts is called the Sunshine Slam. I guess "Tree-Hugging Dreadlock-Having Canvas-Shoe-Wearing Non-Bath-Taking Stinky Hippie Slam" was too long to fit on the menus.
  But enough with the new item promotion. It seems that this Denny's had been robbed a few hours previous to our being there. We weren't even in the area when it happened. Honest. Amy (the waitress) said that some guy with a gun came in and took $100 from the register. It's a shame he didn't have the Sunshine Slam, 'cause then he would have been too filled with peace and love to bother waving a firearm at the manager.
  My Fruit Stack was delicious, but the hashbrowns were burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. Amie had no complaints about her hashbrowns. The service was fast and friendly. Despite the threat of being perforated at random, this Denny's had good vibes all over it. Maybe it was because of the cactus out front. Maybe it was because of the sunny day. Maybe it was because of the sex shop across the street. Or just maybe it was because this Denny's is about a five minute walk from the apartment that I will be living in when I move to Tucson.
  Oh, the sex shop across the street is a pretty good one, too.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: New Grand Value menu insert, Melts & Malts menu insert, Melts & Malts table display

Denny's #6548 Amherst, OH 27-Nov-96, 5:20pm EST 900 N. Leavitt Rd. (216) 984-2426

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): a whole bunch
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee
• Throughout my stay at this Denny's there were at least four or five employees in my general area. At one time, I think I counted ten. Fairly high concentration for the counter and register, I think. They all seemed fairly amused by me, though. At first I think they thought I was some official Denny's person (I was wearing one of my Denny's tshirts), but once they realized I was just some random freak, they calmed down a bit. I should mention that the photo for this entry only has about half of the employees in it.
  What makes this visit notable (other than the gaggle of employees hovering over me like so many buzzards) is that, after receiving many email complaints about the commercial involving the pig, I was finally able to get someone to describe it to me, as I've never seen the commercial myself. From what I've heard, it sounds fairly amusing. I don't see what all the fuss is about. Well, I understand why the fuss, but I think it's fairly silly and misdirected. Or maybe I'm just dark and cynical that way.
  The sign outside had the old logo, as did the coffee mugs. Also, as I was sitting at the counter, a cook named Jason sat next to me. That's twice in a row in two different restaurants. Freaky.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: OJ Carafe, RB Float Glass

Denny's #6556 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 5:40pm MST 1401 N. 75th Ave. (602) 873-4828

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Shiela
• What we ate: nothing
• They were really busy in here. And I was pretty rushed myself, since the sun was already setting and I was worried I wouldn't get to Chandler in time to take a photograph. People just wouldn't stop going up to the register. The nerve! Finally I just gave up.
• I must say that this most recent trip gave me a bit more of an appreciation for the Metro Phoenix area. I used to think Phoenix was in the running for a new layer of Hell, what with how spread out it is, how much they've terraformed the beautiful natural desert environment, and just the general feeling I get whenever I drove through it. I still feel that way about it, but I know the road system a bit more now, and it's frankly quite easy to navigate. So they've got that goin' for 'em. Which is nice.
• WAY: n/a
• Free Stuff: n/a

Denny's #6577 Arlington, Texas 19-Mar-96, 9:40pm CST 2100 N. collins Ave., 2 blocks north of I-30 (817) 860-9567

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Loree Parker, Richard Pruitt
• Wait-person(s): Brett
• What we ate: P7A77 - Root Beer with Cherry Sauce; Amie - Coke; Loree - Coffee; Richard - Coke
• The last of the Arlington visits. We got to sit in a booth near a big "Grand Slam" sign painted on the windows. There was no shortage of carafes that night, as we were able to get one from here, too (complete with the "Share A Carafe of Sunshine" insert). Plus, Richard paid for our drinks. Whee. Unfortunately, in all the excitement of getting a second carafe and getting my beverage paid for, I forgot to get a photo taken. Luckily, I went to Taco Bell and obtained a free "Tick" toy, so I got a photo of that.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Orange Juice Carafe

Denny's #6598 Savannah, Georgia 26 December 1998 5:00pm EST 1 Gateway Blvd., I-95 Exit 16 (912) 920-4800

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Renay, Natasia, Platina
• What we ate: Nothing
• Many Denny's are connected to hotels, but this Denny's had the hotel check-in right in the restaurant. Very odd. I tried to capture this in the photo, but it didn't come out. Just try to imagine a big Best Western counter behind the people. Renay spoke with us when we first arrived. She had only been working two weeks and was glad to have worked on Christmas because she made a lot in tips. When we asked for free stuff, she sort of freaked out and went to get someone else, who then in turn took a long time coming up with something. By this time Renay had run away, and we asked someone to go get her. That person couldn't find her, so several people starting yelling all over the restaurant for her. After about five minutes she came out, looking less than thrilled.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Table Display

Denny's #6605 Ardmore, Oklahoma 18-Mar-96, 8:45am CST 2705 Broadway unknown

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Janice
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cheddar Cheese Omelet with English Muffin, Coffee; Amie - Two Egg Breakfast (over easy) with Ham and Biscuit, Orange Juice
• This Denny's is relatively new (spring, 1994), and is quite slick looking. It's got a spiffy glass-block entrance way, special dining rooms, an aquamarine and maroon colour scheme (tho' I prefer yellow and brown), and it's connected to a Holiday Inn. It received the Rennovation of the Year award in 1995, but when I asked who exactly awarded this honour, the waitress wasn't sure. So for all I know it could've been the manager's cousin Phil who decided upon this. It is nice, though.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's Tie Clip

Denny's #6607 San Francisco, California 21 May 2002 5:45pm PST 495 Beach Street (415) 776-3700

• Attendees: P7A77, Dave, Branson, Omar
• Wait-person(s): Ali
• What we ate: P7A77 - Cherry Cheesecake; Dave - Apple Pie (heated) A La Mode, Milk; Branson - nothing; Omar - Apple Pie (heated) A La Mode, Coffee
• This Denny's is, as they say, teh sux.
• Nobody was pleased to see us. To back up a bit, several dozen Bay area Denny's had been told we might be stopping by. The folks at this place were annoyed that we hadn't been there earlier. Because, I suppose, we have magical control over time and space and are able to be in more than one place at one time. To be fair, Ali was fine. His service was prompt and the desserts were well presented. And, to be even more fair, this is a franchise-owned Denny's (rather than corporate-owned), so any stuff they give us comes out of their own pockets.
• Still, they could have been friendlier. I guess they figure they're in a tourist-heavy part of town (they even had a front desk to reflect this), and attached to a hotel to boot, so they don't have to worry about pesky little things like removing fifteen-year-old advertisements from the walls, or smiling.
• That just made things easier for us. It was a fun and productive day, but we were ready to be done. All told, it took over ten hours of time, almost six hours of videotape, and the depletion of all batteries on hand for the camera. Craig, who had cut out early, said it would have been the best Denny's he'd have ever been to in San Francisco county.
• Poor Craig.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: Fork (stolen by Dave)

Denny's #6612 Phoenix, Arizona 03 February 2001 11:50pm MST 3205 E. Bell Rd. (602) 788-1833

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Linda, Cathy (maybe)
• What we ate: nothing
• Every now and again you visit a Denny's with a manager who brings a certain positive energy to the place. The managers at these locations have a healthy sense of perspective, are always ready with a smile, and couldn't be more willing to provide a good time. This ain't one of 'em.
• When I arrived there were a few people in the lobby. Some were waiting to be seated; others to pay. I waited quietly and politely for them to be taken care of. When I was sure there was nothing more to be done, I approached Linda. I smiled and introduced myself. She looked confused and somewhat terrified. This reaction isn't entirely uncommon, so I pressed forward and asked her the store's unit number.
• That was a mistake. Immediately a woman working at the register said, rather sharply, that they couldn't tell me that. I thought she was just makin' funny, so I laughed and asked no, really, what is it? Can't tell me. Why not? It's private information. No it isn't, I say... most Denny's have it posted on the wall, and many even have it on the receipts. Nope, it's private corporate information. Okay, fine.
• I continued speaking with Linda. Well, I continued speaking /at/ her. She was just standing in paralyzed fear, not sure if she should talk to me or ask me to leave. Can't say as I blame her. I asked her if she knew who Weird Al was. She smiled nervously. I asked again. More nervous smiling, but a hint at recognition. Okay, good, we're making progress. Does she know if anyone works there who resembles him? Nervous smiling. Okay, fine. I made a vain request for free stuff and let her go.
• Back to the spiteful, vile witch of a manager. I asked again if she was serious about giving out the store number. Yes, she was, and thank you come again (with a terse sarcastic smirk). Okay, fine, but what if a customer has a complaint, how will they let corporate know which store they are? Well, then she can tell. Very well, my complaint is that you won't tell me the store number. She finally tells me the unit number is 3317. I say good, thank you, and ask her name. She says Cathy.
• I don't want to get into a whole rant about attitudes and self-fulfilling prophesies, but when the manager acts like this, it has an effect on employees, which then has an effect on customers, which then just gives the manager more justification to act like this. Break the cycle. It's unfortunate when stupid people enjoy wielding what little power they have.
• I called back to this place twice over the few days following. It turns out Cathy lied about the store number. No big surprise. I doubt that's even her real name. If anyone wants to become a part of her distorted little world, she was older, had awful teeth, and thin, fried, scraggly hair. And she was pure evil.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6614 Tucson, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 2:30pm MST 2630 E. Valencia Rd. (520) 294-6131

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Robert (General Manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• At first I was pleased to see that they were taking up the local traditional architectural methods, what with their adobe-like structure. This didn't last long, as when I got up close, I saw that it was fake adobe. Some sort of plaster or something. Maybe a concrete mix. They sure are deceitful in the south.
  At first, Robert seemed unsure of our true motives. He even went so far as to give us the hairy eyeball. We explained to him the project and told him some examples of other items we've gotten in the past (such as the window poster from Texas). He went in the back to see what he could fine. We resigned ourselves to settling for a Minute Maid pin or something, but Robert came through in the end. His line as he was handing us our prize: "We can't be outdone by a poster." We got a Denny's Training Videotape! A full half-hour of stuff that you have to do if you work at Denny's. Or something like that. I played it in my VCR, but to tell you the truth, I really didn't pay that close of attention. They should've put C. Ronald Petty in it.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Denny's Training Videotape - "Covering All The Bases"

Denny's #6616 Little Rock, Arkansas 20-Mar-96, 5:37pm CST 6501 I-30 & 65th Ave. (501) 562-5680

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tricia
• What we ate: Nothing
• Apparantly they don't believe in Denny's in eastern Arkansas, because this was the last one I saw on my trip from Dallas to Graceland. And all I got from them was a crappy crayon, too. I did, however, have the honour of meeting the best waiter in the world (according to him) - Booker T. something-or-other (I can't read his last name on his autograph). He gets 10 out of 10 for style.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Green Denny's Crayon

Denny's #6619 Peoria, Arizona 04 February 2001 4:44pm MST 8131 W. Bell Rd. (623) 486-8505

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Shawna
• What we ate: nothing
• Wow. I mean, just wow. What the hell could have happened in Peoria, Arizona, (of all places) for them to institute a city-wide curfew for people under 18? Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? Whatever happened to not being afraid of the police if you leave your house during certain hours? I'm sure there are some laws against people gathering, too. Or at least about kids. Who needs that pesky ol' First Amendment, anyway? I mean, one out of a thousand kids might get toilet paper on my faux-adobe house! The horror!
• To sidetrack a bit, when I was visiting the Denny's on Grand in Peoria a while after this visit, I was struck by how familiar it looked. In fact, it took a few seconds of my staring blankly in front of the manager waiting there to help me before I decided that I hadn't been there that day, even though it looked exactly like the Denny's on 43rd in Phoenix (even down to the fliers they had posted behind the counter). But I still couldn't shake the feeling. I got home and realized I *had* been there before, almost four years earlier. Remember that big flashing sign I mentioned before...?
• WAY: Ken (personality, not appearance)
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6625 Raleigh, North Carolina 01-Jan-98, 9:30pm EST 3215 Old Wake Forest Rd. at Hwy 440 (919) 876-9556

• Attendees: P7A77, Charlotte, Amie
• Wait-person(s): long since forgotten
• What we ate: who the hell knows
• I lost the notes for this trip, too. But I remember stuff that happened before we went to this Denny's. While getting nice and toasted on New Year's and watching random television channels (the party we had sort of planned fell through, so it was just the three of us and some cats), we were reminded of that whole Dark Side of the Moon / Wizard of Oz story that had "broke" that year. I think MTV was doing some sort of retrospective thing. Anyway, I mentioned that I had actually never gotten around to trying that, and Charlotte said that she actually had the album and the movie. So she got it all set up. It took a while, in her condition, but it was worth it. If you've never seen it, you should make a point to. Preferably while stoned out of your gourd. . ...er... uh... or so I hear.
• And then the next night we went to Denny's. Again, I remember where I sat, but not much else.
• WAY: ???
• Free Stuff: ???

Denny's #6644 Tempe, Arizona 9-Mar-97, 4:30pm MST 1994 W. Baseline Rd. (602) 431-1818

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tracy, Tom (Manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• Tracy was not at all amused by us, so she ran off to get Tom. That's all I can remember about this Denny's. It was getting to be a long day.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: New Menu Cover Insert

Denny's #6648 Mesa, Arizona 02 February 2001 7:55pm MST 1330 S. Power Rd. (480) 807-3933

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): John (manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• Things were starting to improve. John wasn't an exact match, but he was pretty close to a WAY, so I gave it to him, just to cheer myself up. He was wacky, but the sort of non-stop sarcastic mean wacky that I imagine can get pretty annoying if you have to work for him. After he got over his suspicion that I was trying to steal his toothpick dispenser, he offered to give me staples in my forehead as my free gift. I suggested maybe a name tag of an employee he had fired recently, so he told an employee that he was fired and to give me his name tag. He finally just gave me one of those free travel coupon books they usually have by the front door. But to be fair, there was a constant stream of customers coming up to pay, and he dealt with all of them and me rather swiftly and efficiently, and he didn't seem angry at the world just because I was there. At least I didn't get a staple in my forehead.
• WAY: John (manager)
• Free Stuff: Travel Coupon Book

Denny's #6656 Texarkana, Arkansas 20-Mar-96, 2:30pm, CST 5104 North State Line at I-30 (501) 774-5438

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Arlene
• What we ate: P7A77 - Italian Melt, Seasoned Fries with BBQ sauce, Coffee; Amie - Super Bird, Fries, Coke
• This was perhaps the best service I've ever received at a Denny's in my entire life. Our waitress was extremely attentive and friendly. We were seated immediately, our drinks were brought to us quickly, the waitress was there for our order as soon as our menus went down, etc. I would have left a bigger tip than I did, except that I was gettin' pretty broke by this time. If you ever go to this Denny's during the day, ass for Arlene and tell her that that P7A77 says "hi". Not that I ever told her my name or anything. Tell her that the freaks who were travelling all across the country visiting Denny's say "hi". ...and give her a big tip.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Denny's Flying Disc ("Frisbee")

Denny's #6459 Mesa, Arizona 02 February 2001 8:10pm MST 7210 E. Main St. (480) 396-8217

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Anetta
• What we ate: nothing
• John had put me in a good mood and many of the area Denny's had the old cool logo, so I thought maybe the trip was improving. Then I got here.
• I walked in and a woman back in the counter area told me she'd be right with me. Five minutes later another woman (Anetta) showed up. I asked her the store number. She didn't know. I asked if she knew who Weird Al was. She didn't know. I asked for free stuff. She told me, with an exacerbated tone, that they were really short handed. I looked around. Nobody waiting to be seated. Nobody waiting to pay. Hardly anyone in the place. I'm sorry if my thirty seconds' worth of questions take you away from sulking and smoking in the walk-in refrigerator.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6657 Toledo, Ohio 31-Mar-96, 6:30pm EST 5125 Monroe Street, near Franklin Park Mall (419) 885-2922

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Aaron T. Porter, Kasey Princell, Chris Roehl, Dan Springer, Kristen VonGruben, Anne Wooster, Josh "The Bear" Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Ireta
• What we ate: P7A77 - Super Bird, Seasoned Fries with BBQ Sauce, Coffee; John - Souther Slam, Hash Browns with Onions, Coffee; J-R - Mexican Omelette, Biscuit, Fries, Sprite; Aaron - Grand Slam (eggs Sunny Side Up), Wheat Toast, Coffee, Milk; Kasey - Ultimate Omelette, Biscuit; Chris - Grilled Cheese, Coke; Dan - Beef Vegetable Soup, Fries, Coke; Kristen - Chicken Strips, Hash Browns ("Slattered and Smothered"), Iced Tea with Lemon; Anne - Seasoned Fries, Lemonade; Josh "The Bear" Wyen - Grand Slam (eggs scrambled, all sausage)
• This is the Denny's I used to work at, and it's also the first one that Das Büs visited, so it had special meaning for me. I was happy that the four original players of Project:Denny's (P7A77, J-R, Chris, and Josh) were all present for this visit.
  All of the staff was different than it was when I worked there... except for Roy. I'm convinced that Roy came with the building. The man never ages, either. He even remembered me. The waitress, Ireta, also rocked. She offered to give us separate checks. We didn't even have to ask. I've even had some places refuse to give separate checks before.
  Amusement was to be had all over this Denny's. Aside from the wonderful quarter-machines in the lobby ("Give me a quarter! I love quarters! I tell your fortune for a quarter!"), there was a bus boy there who even I thought was a bit goofy-looking. He was goofy-looking on his own, but what did it was the hair. At first it looked like a bowl cut, but when he moved, you could see that all but the very top of his head was shaved. That, combined with his general goofy appearance, was good, but what did it for me was the rat-tail in the back.
  Another great feature about this particular Denny's is the sign outside. It's the oldest logo I've ever seen. It's sort of like the logo that's slowly being replaced by the crappy new one, but more psychadellic. Ah, hell, you can see for yourselves in the picture.
• WAY: Yes (Johnnie - Cook)
• Free Stuff: Chef's Tie and Tie Clip

Denny's #6658 Rossford, Ohio 31-Mar-96, 7:30pm EST 1122 Buck Rd. (419) 666-4774

• Attendees: P7A77, John "Adder" Fink, J-R Little, Aaron T. Porter, Kasey Princell, Chris Roehl, Dan Springer, Kristen VonGruben, Anne Wooster, Josh "The Bear" Wyen
• Wait-person(s): Dee
• What we ate: Nothing
• They were somewhat busy and understaffed here, but that's still no reason to be rude. They didn't give me anything.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Dinner Menu Insert (stolen)

Denny's #6659 Toledo, Ohio 23-Sep-96, 11:00pm EDT 3302 Secor Rd., near I-475 (419) 531-1190

• Attendees: P7A77, J-R Little, Damian Krabill, Chastity Armola
• Wait-person(s): Stacey
• What we ate: P7A77 - Seasoned Fries w/BBQ Sauce, Coffee, Water; J-R - Patty Melt, Mayo on Side, Fries, Root Beer w/Cherry Sauce; Damian - Denny Burger, Fries, Raspberry Iced Tea; Chastity - Bacon-Swiss Burger, Fries, Hot Chocolate
• Okay. So there was only one Denny's on this "trip", but it was the last one in the Toledo area that I hadn't gone to for this project, and it was after a "Weird Al" concert, dammit.
  Since we ran out of film before we got to the Denny's, the photo is of J-R and myself with some musician-type before the show. He said he played some kind of stringed instrument, but he looked rather shifty to me. Also before the show is when we met up with Damian and Chastity (how's that for contrast in names?). The way we met him was that J-R and I were commenting on how some of the Al concert T-shirts were fit to be worn by Alternateens, and we heard behind us someone quote a line from the Wally Pleasant song "Alternateen". We turned around and, lo and behold, there was a guy (Damian) wearing a Wally Pleasant t-shirt! So, after the show, Damian and Chastity followed Das Büs to Denny's.
  To make up for the fact that there is no actual photo from this Denny's here (it looks like most every other old-style Denny's in the midwest - trust me on this one), I'll make up for it with lots of photos from the concert.
  By the way, it was a pretty good Denny's experience, too. The waitress was fun-loving and gave us a free baseball card. Plus, there was a "Weird Al" working there. It couldn't have been more perfect of an evening.
  • Al signing a parking ticket from Das Büs (photo by Damian)
  • J-R and P7A77 with one of the caterers
  • J-R with the head caterer
  • Like a Surgeon
  • Al singing
  • Smells Like Nirvana
  • Fat
  • Al with his accordian (Steve in the background)
  • Encore! (the whole band)
• WAY: Yes (John - Server)
• Free Stuff: Tony Gwynn Hologram Baseball Card (with 3.5 seconds of actual game action)

Denny's #6669 Glendale, Arizona 04 February 2001 3:48pm MST 5161 W. Thunderbird Rd. (602) 978-5442

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Melissa
• What we ate: nothing
• I was rushing a little bit at this time because I realized I had a while to go before I got back near Chandler, and I needed to re-shoot the picture that got ruined a couple of days previous. Plus, it was really hot out and I was getting a little tired of this whole thing.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6699 Concord, California 5 September 2005 9:00am PDT 1313 Willow Pass Rd. (925) 798-4040

• Attendees: P7A77, Pete
• Wait-person(s): undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77: French Toast Slam, Pete: undetermined
• Okay, damnit, I lost my notes on this one. I gotta stop doing that. It hardly matters, because I can never read my chicken scratch, so I usually make it all up as I go along.
• Another publication decided to lose some readership by featuring me in a story. This time, Diablo Magazine thought they had something more exciting than they did. Pete and I met up, ate breakfast, chatted for a bit, and went on our merry ways. It seemed a nice enough place. My French Toast Slam was mighty tasty. I'm not sure I'd ever had it before. Good stuff.
• As is the case when I try to get information from them, they get slammed just as I'm ready to go into it. This is why I don't like morning shift. The article's supposed to be in November 2005's issue, so we'll see if there's anything salvageable. From what I remember, it was a good time, and he had a great sense of humor about the whole thing. Check your newsstands!
• Thanks to Pete for taking and supplying the photographs for me.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: meal (thanks guy!)

Denny's #6714 Aurora, Illinois 8 March 1999 2:30pm CST 412 S. Lincoln Parkway, 1/2 mile south on I-88 (708) 906-6925

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tracey
• What we ate: P7A77 - Country Slam, Eggs Overeasy, Coke; Amie - All American Slam, All Sausage, Water
• Don't believe the Travel Guide. This Denny's is not right off of I-88. Plus, the phone number didn't seem to work. We had to call the other Denny's in Aurora to get directions to this one. Of course, the people there said that there was no such street as Lincoln Parkway, so they gave us directions based on landmarks and other roads. (By the way, there was a Lincoln Parkway, and the Denny's was right on it.) We ended up making a few turnarounds on the highway, and we ran out of loose change, so we ended up busting through a few toll booths. Breakin' the law! If any Illinois Troopers are reading this, I'm really sorry! I just didn't have any money! Please don't arrest me!
• The part that made this whole thing really fun was that Amie had bought a big bottle of something called "Water Joe" that morning. She had been feeling on edge most of the afternoon, and wasn't sure why. Then we read the label on the Water Joe. It's caffeinated. Caffeinated water. She just thought that it was a brand name put out by a guy named Joe. The end result is that she had consumed the equivalent of eight cups of coffee in a three hour time span. Needless to say, once we discovered this, I did all the driving. I also refused to allow Amie to order her usual Coke with her meal. Only decaf water for her.
• Amie had wanted to substitute grits for the meat on the all-american slam, but they didn't have grits, so she just ordered all sausage. Of course, it arrived with the usual mix of sausage and bacon. My Country Slam (or, as I like to think of it, the Heart-Stoppin' Slam) was tasty all around. The eggs were not runny at all, and finally some sausage gravy! Woohoo!
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: All Dogs counter display (stolen)

Denny's #6716 Tucson, Arizona 26-Jan-97, 6:55am MST 4920 West Inda Road at I-10 (520) 744-6805

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cathy
• What we ate: P7A77 - Hashbrowns, Coffee, Water; Amie - Bagel with Cream Cheese, Small Orange Juice, Water
• Alas, my time in Tucson was coming to a close. Also alas, el cheapo plane tickets forced me to wake up at 6:30am to get to the airport on time. Standard morning crowd at this place, but while we were there, we were witness to quite the breathtaking sunrise. We were in a rush to get to the airport, and the person at the counter wouldn't give us anything good for free, so we forgot to leave a tip. If you happen to stop by this place, tell Cathy we're sorry and leave an extra buck on the table for us. Or don't.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Kid's Menu

Denny's #6741 Sedona, Arizona 13 May 2000 7:00pm MST 1950 W. Highway 89A (520) 282-5481

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tamala
• What we ate: P7A77 - Water; Amie - Silk Chocolate Mousse Pie
• We got to Sedona during a beautiful time of the day and found a side street that took us to a great place to walk around. To prove it, here's a photo of the drive up. And one while hiking around. And of a wild dalmatian. And of my shoes afterwards. We walked around a bit, getting some nice photos, but not worrying too much about what we got, as we were planning on spending the night and getting some good morning shots the following day. So after we climbed around a bit, we went to a motel. Full. Went to another. Full. What the hell's going on? Jazzfest. Gol-dangit. So we went to Denny's, and noticed several "no vacancy" signs on the way.
• The Denny's (as all establishments in town) had to conform to the local building and style codes, which is an attempt to prevent the city from being raped by strip malls. A decision that has some merit, however covering everything with orange stucco isn't the way to do it.
• To add insult to injury, they didn't have the delicious-looking strawberry desserts that we saw advertised at the Mesa location. And on top of that, they were out of keylime pie! What sort of madhouse was this?!
• Since our plans in Sedona were shot (it looked like we needed way advance notice for the balloon ride anyway), we thought of somewhere else we could go. Amie thought of Monument Valley, so we asked our waitress if she knew where it was. She didn't, so she went to ask someone else. She came back and told us that the person she asked thought it was in Egypt. We went to get the atlas.
• Monument Valley turned out to not be in Egypt after all, but it was still a little too far to drive that night. We toyed with the idea of the Grand Canyon, but decided that we wanted to be able to spend more time than just one day there. Besides, it was on fire at the time. So we decided to try our luck for a hotel in Cottonwood.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Menu, "Cody" Name Tag

Denny's #6742 Green Valley, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 3:05pm MST 18875 South I-19 (520) 648-6162

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lisa (General Manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• The Denny's on Valencia in Tucson would have been our last entry for this trip, but while we were there, Amie got the fantabulous idea to go to Mexico. Arriba! We knew there was a Denny's in Nogales (the border town), so we figured why the hell not. Well, happy day, we passed this Denny's on the way! Ain't nothin' better than a found Denny's. Or so we thought. All Lisa gave us was stuff that people usually get for free anyway. I hate that. Oooh!
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Junior Menu & Cup, Stickers

Denny's #6743 Tucson, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 2:15pm MST 3702 E. Irvington Rd. at I-10 (520) 745-2099

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Heather
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke w/lemon; Amie - Iced Tea
• They didn't have cherry sludge. Can you believe it? I was all set for my standard root beer beverage selection, too. Sometimes you get the elevator, and sometimes you get a foot up your ass. While we were sitting at the counter, three (count 'em) Patty Melts came up on the line. I looked around for any indication of a Patty Melt Special going on, but to no avail.
  This Denny's is all about landscaping. There are plenty of cacti out front. It's also connected to a Red Roof Inn, so maybe some kids who are visiting Arizona for the first time get pricked while on their way to a nice hearty family breakfast. I hope so, anyway.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Red Roof Inn Pen (traded for the pen I was carrying)

Denny's #6750 Casa Grande, Arizona 23-Jan-97, 10:15pm MST 1885 E. Florence Blvd., I-10 exit 194 (602) 836-2077

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lynda
• What we ate: P7A77 - Fries w/Mayonnaise, Coke; Amie - Coke
• And so Project:Denny's finally heads out West. I got tired of all the snow and ice and wind chill factors of forty below in Ohio, and figured I'd head on down to Arizona for a few days. Plus, I needed my heroin prescription filled.
  My final destination was Tucson, but el cheapo airfare was only into Phoenix. Not far out of the airport, we entered the first of what was to be a whole trip's worth of tip-top Denny's. I was giddy from the get go. First off, we don't have mountains in Ohio, and the only cacti are in crappy little clay pots that have gravel that make a mess when you accidentally knock them off the shelf. Anyway, this Denny's had a funky Spanish type exterior - stucco walls, tile roof... you know, like they have in California. Our waitress, Lynda, was the only waitress working in the entire restaurant, and she told us that she had been working without a break. It showed. She was loopy as all git-out, forgetting to bring us ash trays and sodas even after a few reminders. Incidentally, there was another waitress there, but she was sitting at the counter smoking cigarettes and glaring at the customers.
  I didn't have the heart to push Lynda over the edge of confusion, so I didn't bother her with the specifics of my quest.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Salt Shaker (stolen)

Denny's #6755 Cottonwood, Arizona 13 May 2000 8:10pm MST 2211 E. Highway 89A (520) 639-3805

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Vyvyan
• What we ate: nothing
• Cottonwood was full, too.
• Vyvyan (the manager) was rather nonplussed to talk to me. She wasn't willing to give me anything, but finally she went to get a business card. Thanks for nothin'.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Business Card

Denny's #6758 Goodyear, Arizona 19 October 2000 12:30pm MST 1218 N. Litchfield Rd. (602) 932-3070

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Roberta
• What we ate: P7A77 - Garden Burger, Applesauce, Diet Coke; Amie - Sunshine Slam (eggs over easy), Grits, Iced Tea
• Amie's job interview from a couple of weeks previous was a roaring success, so we were on the way to move her to San Francisco (I shall be following in a few months). Actually, we were going to the general SF Bay area, not SF proper, so I don't want to get any emails from the snobby locals yelling at me. We loaded up Der Satürn with a few suitcases of clothes and various electronics and headed on up. The Project has been slacking a bit in the last few years, so I was hoping we would make up for some lost time on the way.
• The first Denny's we stopped at was just outside of Phoenix in Goodyear. The Denny's had the standard "Southwestern" appearance, which is usually brown stucco made to look like adobe, since that's how they built their Denny's hundreds of years ago. This may have not even been stucco; it could have been a foam material called EIFS, which is made to look like stucco made to look like adobe. But ya gotta satisfy the cranky old people who move out here from the midwest and who think if it doesn't look like a cheap knockoff of a Taco Bell then it's not "true" to the region. Fuckers.
• Anyway, back to Denny's... Amie's pancakes were light and fluffy and probably the best pancakes ever eaten at a Denny's. Her grits were good, but a little on the runny side. As to my meal, I've ordered the Gardenburger a few times, and they never seem to be able to make it properly. I get a variety of combinations of condiments, but never what's listed on the menu. Not this time. This time it came with all the trimmings, even cucumbers! I did have to ask for the side of light honey mustard - and the waitress acted like it was a special request - but that was okay because I had cucumbers.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6760 Chandler, Arizona 02 February 2001 6:20pm MST 7400 W. Chandler Blvd. (480) 940-8882

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Brad, Robert, Steve
• What we ate: P7A77 - Bacon Ranch Chicken Sandwich, French Fries, Coke
• Das Büs is in storage, Der Satürn is in Sunnyvale... looks like I'm stuck making the visits with Die Geö. But that's okay, because the first Denny's on this trip is right down the road from where said vehicle was purchased a couple of years ago. I probably should have visited the Denny's then, but the purchase was a spur of the moment sort of thing and it took a really long time (thereby ruining the moment) and I just wanted to get home when it was over, having felt used and dirty. I actually tried to stop at it once since then, but I was looking for it on the wrong side of the highway and ended up eating at Cracker Barrel instead. They have good biscuits and gravy, that Cracker Barrel.
• But why the trip? What's goin' on? Where's Amie? Faithful readers will remember we drove Amie up to the SF Bay area a while earlier and that I'm soon to follow. Even more faithful readers will know that while I've lived in the area for four years and have been to Phoenix many times, I never really got around to visiting all of the area Denny's. Basically, time was running out. I had to get to them. As a happy coincidence, my grandmother was in Scottsdale for her annual winter hideaway trip, so it gave me a good reason to go up there. I thought I could visit the ten or twelve area Denny's I hadn't been to while I was there. Make that thirty or so. Yeesh.
• So this is how it started. The first visit for Die Geö at the Denny's right near where it began its life with me. I was lucky to get there right when the sun was setting to snag a nice "magic hour" shot. But this ain't it. The digital camera decided to eat the disk a few Denny's down the road, so I had to recreate the shot a couple of days later on my way out of town. I won't tell anyone if you won't. Besides, the recreated shot is much cooler than the original anyway.
• I had high hopes going into this place. It wasn't very crowded and I was seated immediately by Steve. It took a while for Brad to take my order, but that was okay because I wasn't very hungry yet and I had to map out all of the Denny's I was to visit. I decided to tackle the area east of I-10 and on either side of Rt. 60 before going to gramma's house. They were pretty spread out, so I knew it would take a while, and gramma was expecting me. I had actually utilized Mapquest earlier in the day to get a general idea of where everything was, but I also got a larger city map to plot it all out on one big surface and just make sure I got it all right.
• Steve had seated me and Brad had taken my order but Robert served me. Brad was standing next to him observing the masterful way by which he gave me my sandwich, so I figured he was a trainee. My figures proved accurate after they left my table when I heard Robert tell Brad that he usually checks back with the customer a few minutes later to make sure everything is okay. Woo-hoo, I thought. I'll get good service. I never heard from either of them again. By "usually" he meant "not this guy". Steve ended up giving me my check, and I noticed it was his name on the ticket. He also took my money from me, and he re-rang the ticket to include the tip in the base cost of the meal, so I think he may have completely screwed Brad and Robert out of their share of my two dollars. If either of them are reading this, go punch Steve in the nuts.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Jelly Holder

Denny's #6763 Oakdale, California 26 November 2005 7:45pm PDT 1555 East F Street (209) 847-0242

• Attendees: P7A77, Josh (formerly "The Bear"), Kara, Chad
• Wait-person(s): Kelly
• What we ate: P7A77: Root Beer Float; Josh: Buffalo Chicken Strips w/ Ranch & Blue Cheese, Iced Tea; Kara: Buffalo Chicken Strips, Iced Tea; Chad: Mozzarella Sticks, Coffee
• Who has two thumbs and didn't get his face eaten by a bear? This guy.
• I had no definite Thanksgiving plans, so the weekend previous, Josh suggested we do a local overnight camping stint the following Saturday. Sounded good to me. The next I heard, Chad and Kara were coming along, and now we were spending a couple of days in the Santa Cruz mountains. Aces. That Tuesday, Josh picked me up to go shopping for supplies and said we were instead spending three or four days in Yosemite. I had only been camping a few times, and never long-haul backpacking, and never to Yosemite. Hell yeah, bitches!
• Early on as we were hiking I saw a bear. Not way off in the distance somewhere, but about fifty feet from the path. I looked at it. It looked at me. I hoped it didn't think my face looked like a tasty snack. I remembered I was strapped in to a heavy pack containing most of our food and had been hiking all day and wasn't much for running. Then I realized I didn't have to outrun the bear, I only had to outrun Josh. I relaxed a bit. The bear went on his merry way; no maulings for now. I figured such sightings were common, so I didn't notify the guy with the camera. I was wrong.
• Our path took us from the valley floor up along the Merced river, past a couple of waterfalls, constantly moving up up up, climbing over some rocks from time to time, that sort of thing. Here's a handy tip for you other first-time backpackers: big heavy steel-toed workboots are not the most comfortable thing to wear. The only prevention to my falling over dead was inertia and the pleasant thought that, eventually, I would be able to stop. Eventually. Six miles is a hell of a long walk with a pack on your back and two thousand feet of ascent.
• We made it to camp about an hour from dusk. An advantage to camping in winter is hardly anyone else is around: we had the place practically to ourselves. I volunteered to go find water. After a whole lot of wandering and going in the wrong direction, I made it to the stream, filled up the bottles, and promptly fell into the water. The extremely cold water. I figured they'd have a fire going by the time I got back, and I found a path that seemed more direct, so I took it. Bzzt, wrong, this path went some other crazy way, so I made up a short-cut through the woods to the clearing that I'm sure was where I started. Er, uh, no. Okay, back to the path. What path? Huh? Okay, now I'm wandering in the woods, aimless, getting dark, and nobody but the bears to keep me company. Finally made my way back to the path, walked along it a bit, decided for some asinine reason to try another "shortcut", got lost again, finally beat it into my head to stick to the path I recognized no matter how long of a way around it was, and got back to camp. Everyone was very glad to see me, as they needed water to cook dinner. Nobody seemed particularly concerned that I, a camping neophyte with no flashlight, had gone missing in the dark for an hour. It's nice to feel safe and loved.
• That night was Thanksgiving dinner, and oh what a feast! Freeze-dried turkey, freeze-dried potatoes, freeze-dried cobbler, freeze-dried cranberry cheesecake. I don't eat this good usually, and I have plumbing and electricity. Chad and Kara did most of the cooking, and a fine job they did of it.
• The next day was sunny, so we set off on a day hike to Half Dome. Most of it was nice and leisurely. Then it got cold. Okay, we're warm from walking, keep moving. Then the wind started. Hey, we're bundled up, no problem. Then the fog. Who wanted to see the canyon anyway? Then the rain. Hey, we're almost at the top, let's push through it. Snow. Well, it's cold, and it's pretty, so no problem. Hail. Okay, FINE, we'll turn back. We made it to the base of the part where you need to be very crafty to climb, so it was a worthwhile trip. That night, after scavenging for any dry wood we could find, we eventually made a furnace to challenge the pits of hell. It melted my socks, but I was too cold and dirty to notice. I also had our pal Jack D. to keep me warm.
• Saturday was time to head back, towards civilization and showers. We passed fairly close to the peak of Liberty Cap and decided, what the hell, let's see what it looks like up there. Chad and Kara do this sort of thing all the time, but it was my first. What kept me going was seeing the view and wanting to know what it looked like a little bit higher, which was an even better view, leading me to believe it'd keep on improving like that. Now that I've been to the top I understand what all the fuss is about. No definition of the word 'panoramic' conveys the true meaning, and photos don't do it justice. It was, simply put, sensational. I look forward to climbing again, this time with a bit of training and the proper equipment, as the "falling to my death" bit isn't quite as appealing.
• The walk back was fairly uneventful, until Josh (formerly "The Bear") got himself caught in a bear trap. Chad & Kara to the immediate rescue. They told Josh the proper way to chew off his foot at the ankle, bandaged up the bloody stump, gave him some morphine, everything. Josh, ever the trooper, hobbled the last couple of miles with nary a whimper, and we were homeward bound.
• Oh, yeah, I almost forgot... we stopped at Denny's. Kara, a bit of the culinary snob, commented, "I liked Denny's... when I was 17," but when she saw the photos of the buffalo chicken strips, her eyes went wide. The overall experience was surprisingly pleasant, right down to the Russian teenagers pretending to be mobsters, and Chad going to the restroom with Josh to help him pee. Kelly, our waitress, was nice and flirty. There was some confusion about Oakland and Oakdale and whether or not we were still in California, but we muddled through somehow.
• EAST BAY!
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: joy and happiness, and a plastic cup

Denny's #6775 Newcastle, California 26 September 2002 11:42am PDT 681 Newcastle Rd. (916) 663-2011

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandy (manager)
• What we ate: Nothing
• These are the entries from the trip that don't have much written for them because not a lot was going on. The most notable thing about I-80 in California is we seemed in the middle of a Harley convention, and they, too, elected to stop at all the Denny's. This one offered beer, wine, and "expresso". I hate that term. ESPRESSO, goddamnit. At least they didn't have an "ATM Machine".
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6782 Grand Prarie, Texas 19-Mar-96, 11:30am CST 408 West Chase (214) 263-3266

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Melvin
• What we ate: Breakfast (I forget exactly what it was)
• This is a fairly new Denny's, and it was the first on our trip from Arlington to Dallas. It was built near the end of 1995. However, our service sucked. It took an hour to get our food. After forty-five minutes, the waiter said that the cook misplaced our order, but being a seasoned waiter my own self, I know that that translates into "I forgot to place your order." Melvin did give us our drinks for free, though, and I was able to get 50% taken off of our ticket at the counter. I shouldn't be too harsh on them, though. They were very friendly. This sort of thing happens every once in a while. No big deal. Not like I was in any hurry or anything. I didn't ask for any free stuff.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Salt and Pepper Shakers (stolen)

Denny's #6815 Norman, Oklahoma 18-Mar-96, 7:35am CST 2535 W. Main St. (405) 360-8754

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Betty
• What we ate: Nothing
• A cloudy dawn in Oklahoma. This Denny's had a sort of funky postmodern entrance to it, but nothing worth getting terribly excited about. Betty, the woman who answered our questions, was not amused by us. She gave us the fourth Minute Maid pin from this trip.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Minute Maid Pin

Denny's #6829 Palm Springs, California 19 October 2000 5:15pm PDT 63960 20th Avenue North (760) 251-0858

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Amy
• What we ate: nothing
• Nobody here knew Cody from Thousand Springs - not even the manager. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure Cody worked at the other Denny's either. This Denny's was surrounded by thousands of windmills that anyone who's driven I-10 through Palm Springs is sure to remember. I tried to get a good picture, but the little snapshot camera I had didn't have a zoom or anything. You can sort of see them in the distance, but it's not nearly dramatic as it is when you're there.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing (to be fair, Amy looked for a while)

Denny's #6830 Greenville, Texas 20-Mar-96, 12:45pm CST 3103 W. I-30 (903) 450-4472

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Homer and Sue
• What we ate: Nothing
• And finally my collection of menus was complete. Homer was kind enough to give me a daytime menu, to go along with my nighttime menu and my breakaway value menus. They rock.
• WAY: Yes (Ronnie - dishes)
• Free Stuff: Daytime Menu, Breakaway Values Menu

Denny's #6831 Benton, Arkansas 20-Mar-96, 5:10pm CST 16732 I-30 (501) 860-7155

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tai
• What we ate: Nothing
• This is another one of those spiffy new Denny's. It's connected to a Ramada Inn, even. Very slick. They even sell the Denny's mugs there. Of course, I get mine for free.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Blank Name Tag

Denny's #6838 Glendale, Arizona 04 February 2001 2:45pm MST 4303 W. Glendale Ave. (602) 939-3908

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Rosemary
• What we ate: nothing
• It was good goin' in. Everyone was acting goofy. Rosemary tried to jump in front of my camera when I was taking the photo. Good times. But when I asked for the free stuff the manager came over. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Her arms were crossed. Negative body language. Her reason was that they were short on everything. Seemed to have plenty of Knuckles and ZOOBs, tho'.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6846 Ontario, California 19 October 2000 7:50pm PDT 1409 E. 4th St. (909) 983-2511

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Thomas
• What we ate: nothing
• There was a thick, dank smell to this Denny's. When pressed for free stuff, Thomas eagerly reached below the counter and produced a ZOOB box. He asked if that would do. I hastily approved, hoping I could snag it and run before a manager made me pay for it. Alas, it was empty. Maybe I could use it to store the two ZOOB pieces Cody in Thousand Palms threw my way.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Empty ZOOB Box

Denny's #6847 Pomona, California 19 October 2000 8:10pm PDT 1504 Gillette Rd. (909) 623-5814

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Frank
• What we ate: nothing
• The poor folks at this place were a little distraught by my visit. One woman took a while processing what it is I was getting at, and asked me if I just do this at all Denny's. Frank asked me if he was going to get in trouble with corporate, like he thought I was a corporate spy firing people who gave in to my demands.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Menu

Denny's #6863 Thousand Palms, California 19 October 2000 5:00pm PDT 72248 Varner Road (760) 343-3739

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cody
• What we ate: nothing
• Our Denny's Travel Directory said there would be a Denny's in Indio. We tried to find it, but couldn't. We did, however, find a place called "El Sinaloense" that's not fooling anyone.
• The visit in Thousand Palms was just about as successful. Cody said he was new there, but he used to work at the Denny's down the road in Palm Springs. He was happy enough to help, but he didn't know much.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: two pieces of ZOOB

Denny's #6873 San Francisco, California 25 August 2005 7:00am PDT 816 Mission St. (415) 243-8800

• Attendees: P7A77, Winter, Illy-B
• Wait-person(s): Teresa
• What we ate: P7A77: Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Coffee; Winter: Biscuits, Eggs (scrambled), Illy-B: Grand Slam (eggs scrambled), Large Orange Juice
• So apparently there are these people who are obsessed with going around and visiting thousands of more or less carbon copies of a faceless corporate conglomerate's manufactured style masquerading as low-rent sustenance. Strange but true, and I got to meet one of them, Winter, that guy who does the Starbucks site. He's rather more hard-core than I am. Me, I get to an update when the mood strikes me, which patient readers know can take rather long to come about. Winter works part time and freelance and endlessly criss-crossing the country. That's dedication. He says they open new Starbuckses more quickly than he can visit them, so while he's always attending new Starbuckses, his percentage visited of national total is decreasing. I'd like to see some 3-d calculus graphs of his pattern. The thing is, they're making a movie about his madness, and seeing as we've been around the same amount of time, he wanted to meet up. Sure, what the hell, I still had a city Denny's to visit, works out well. We hung out for a while, chatted for a bit, caught most of it on video. I doubt they'll use much of me, as I tend to ramble and mumble a lot.
• I don't really drink coffee any more. I used to, on cold mornings in Ohio, but in Arizona it was hardly necessary, so I moved on to soda. I've kicked that habit as well, and now only juice up if I'm especially tired. And hoo-boy is it effective. For some reason I decided to get a cup at Denny's. This was ridiculous. I think I even got a refill. Hey, I was up early before work, I had a rather rough night's sleep, I wasn't used to this. But I forgot that after we were done with breakfast, we were visiting one of the Starbucks that Winter had yet to hit. Ooh, cross-over episode! Stay tuned for a scary Vampire show that we advertise in this time slot in order to freak the snot out of little kids absorbing 7th Heaven.
• After a rather... interesting drive through the city, with me not knowing what roads go what direction because I always walk, and Winter's rather colorful driving technique, we managed to park illegally and dart into Starbucks, where I had my first sample of their product. It did about what I expected, which was burn the top of my mouth. Cheers.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: meal and coffee (thanks guys!)

Denny's #6875 Billings, Montana 29 September 2002 10:30pm MDT 2010 Overland Ave. (406) 651-0724

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jamie
• What we ate: P7A77: Chicken Ranch Special, Sprite; Amie: Moons Over My Hammy Special, Sprite
• As the folks around Yellowstone are smart and don't have any Denny's, you're getting a couple days' worth of photos in this entry.
• After waking up in southwestern Wyoming, we headed straight towards Yellowstone. Well, as straight as the roads would allow. We had to cross over into Idaho at one point. Now, for most of the trip, I was driving at or under the speed limit, but we really wanted to get to Yellowstone. The local smokeys are keenly aware their scenery sucks compared to what lies in either direction, and were ready to pounce. Remember, we were from northern California. Let's just say "Amie" and "clambake" are two words that worked well together on this trip. Luckily the trooper either didn't notice or didn't care and was content to simply issue a $75 speeding ticket.
• We got through that, passed through a town with an overabundance of antlers, hung out at the water near the Grand Tetons, straddled the Continental Divide, and took in the sunset.
• Day two at Yellowstone encompassed the standard fare to be expected, which is to say bison, geysers, and the titular attraction. Nothing like being on the world's largest active volcano for vivid scenery.
• On our way out we drove into a rainbow then up through Bear Tooth Pass into Montana. I didn't find out until later that one of our tires was almost shredded. You're lucky to get these entries at all, so I don't want to hear any complaining that they're boring and filled with photos.
• Finally we hit a Denny's in Billings where we took advantage of their Specials. As Amie's a Moons freak, she was shitting herself over the Moons special (both before and after dinner). Settled into our hotel, which for some reason had us listed as the Guest of the Day. Good thing we weren't trying to stay out of sight or have some privacy or anything. As payment for waving our identity to the world, they gave us a fabric pumpkin and a basket full of snacks.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing (unless you count the goodie basket from the hotel)

Denny's #6892 Hagerstown, Maryland 27-Nov-96, 11:15pm EST 1630 Dual Hwy. (301) 797-3700

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Undetermined
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee
• As soon as I walked in to this Denny's, I knew something was wrong. The attitude of those inside was somehow off, and it smelled a bit different than usual. A quick perusal of the premises revealed why: there were no ashtrays. Yes, that's right, apparently there's no smoking in restaurants in Maryland. After six hours on the road, I couldn't have a cigarette with my coffee.
  Speaking of the coffee, it was rather sub-standard. It was way too hot (indicating it had been sitting on the burner for a while) and tasted quite bitter. In addition, the mug had the new logo (tho' to their credit, the restaurant had the old logo on their sign outside).
  Practically every employee who walked past my spot at the counter asked if I needed to see a menu. At first I thought they were being helpful, but then the same employees kept asking me. Then they kept trying to refill my coffee even after I asked them not to. Trust me when I say that it was lousy coffee.
  As I was leaving, I happened to notice a table full of the local counter-culture youth. They were quiet and well behaved. A gripping reminder of the horror of a non-smoking Denny's.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #6893 Richmond Hills, Georgia 26 December 1998 4:15pm EST 3944 Hwy. 175, Exit 14 on I-95, just south of Savannah (912) 756-6889

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Lisa (waitress), Tiffany (manager)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Strawberry Milkshake; Amie - Oreo Milkshake
• Just what we needed after the lackluster Abercorn Denny's! The minute I walked in the door, the manager offered to go and buy me a new shirt if I was willing to trade my Denny's shirt for it. We felt right at home. Even though we only ordered milkshakes, we stayed there a while to relax and talk. I might've traded my shirt if Tiffany had been able to provide another Denny's clothing item, but alas she was not. She did give me a die-cut Major League Burger menu. It has little opening windows inside for the various burger choices. The perfect complement to my Skillet Menu. But to Tiffany's chagrin, I still wouldn't give her the shirt.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Major League Burger Menu

Denny's #6899 Deming, New Mexico 20 January 2000 9:39pm MST 120 North Platinum (505) 546-2258

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Ana
• What we ate: nothing
• This visit sucked. Couldn't get anything out of them, and it was even an ordeal to get the damn photo.
• Our next stop was going to be Las Cruces, but we took the wrong road through town and missed it. So the video for this entry takes place about three hours later in a little town the locals call "TOC".
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: nothing
• Video: Mile High Club Part III (~1.4MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #6913 Tucson, Arizona 25-Jan-97, 6:15pm MST 555 North Freeway, I-10 exit St. Mary's (520) 623-8249

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jim
• What we ate: P7A77 - Nachos, Coffee, Water; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy with Tabasco, Hashbrowns, Hot Chocolate, Water
• If you are anywhere even remotely close to this Denny's, you must go there. Jim was everything a Denny's waiter should be and more. He was goofy, funny, energetic, helpful, and charismatic. He told us that he had just moved to Tucson a few weeks previous and was enjoying the hell out of it so far. When we commented on his waiterly anticts, his response was "no brain, no pain." Maybe you had to be there. Heck, he even lit one of the other customers' cigarettes while he was holding onto a tray full of plates with the other hand. He also brought Amie a free refill of hot chocolate. Of course, he was a new employee, so he'll probably be grouchy and bitter by the time you get there.
  By the time we were ready to pay, Jim was swamped, so we had to bug the woman at the cash register for free stuff. She didn't give us a damned thing. I bet Jim would've.
  The sign outisde had one of the really old psychadellic logos, but the mugs had the new one. To fit in with retro sign, there was parsley on our plates. How often do you see THAT any more, huh?
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Malts & Melts table display (stolen)

Denny's #6914 Tucson, Arizona 25-Jan-97, 1:05pm MST 6484 E. Broadway at Wilmont (520) 747-9594

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Augie
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Pita Basket, Coffee, Water; Amie - Chicken Quesadilla with extra Sour Cream instead of Guacamole, Coke, Water
• This Denny's had a full fledged cocktail lounge in it. Unfortunately, we were on our way to climb around a mountain, so we figured gettin' soused wouldn't be such a great idea. It was pretty busy and loud with the lunch crowd, but Augie was very promt. We were eating our food within ten minutes of entering the restaurant. I thought Augie also looked like Al ('cept his hair wasn't curly), but Amie didn't agree with me. Eh, what does she know.
• WAY: Augie
• Free Stuff: Miller Lite table display (stolen)

Denny's #6915 Tucson, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 12:30pm MST 5000 Oracle Rd. at River Rd. (520) 888-5195

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Brian
• What we ate: P7A77 - Manhattan Mushroom Omelette, English Muffin, Coffee, Water; Amie - Big Texas Fajita Omelette, White Toast, Coke, Water
• The smoking section was full. Full, I tell you! We were hungry as all get out, so we opted for the cancer-free section, tho' we tended to shake a bit while sitting there.
  No complaints about this Denny's, but nothing really stood out. Just your standard stuff. The Manhattan Omelette was deeeeeeelicious, tho' the Texas Fajita Omelette was much, much bigger. "If you're really hungry, it's the thing to get," said Amie.
  If you haven't seen the new omelette menus, you should rush right out and see one. They're quite the fancy menu, and even have pop-up omelettes. Well, sorta. I was determined to get one. The hostess didn't seem too keen on the idea, but we asked the manager, and she said that as long as we didn't take the regular menus, she didn't care. Aces!
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: America's Favorite Omelettes Menu

Denny's #6916 Tucson, Arizona 8-Mar-97, 1:30pm MST 100 E. Orange Grove at Oracle (520) 297-9786

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Richard
• What we ate: Nothing
• This Denny's is just a stone's throw from the other Denny's on Oracle. I guess there's a big market for overpriced greasy food in the area or something. Dick said that he usually works at the previously mentioned other Denny's, so he didn't know too much about this one. Luckily, he knew enough for us to get the basics. He was also kind enough to give us a Phoenix Suns hat that was in the lost-n-found. The flip side is that he was also enough of a heartless bastard to not care if the kid who owned the hat came in looking for it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Phoenix Suns Hat

Denny's #6917 Santa Clara, California 22 June 2001 10:20pm PDT 1745 El Camino Real (408) 243-6053

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder
• Wait-person(s): Mary Ann
• What we ate: P7A77 - Western Wing Round-Up Skillet (half bbq / half buffalo), Water; Adder - Scram Slam (w/ Hashbrowns covered & smothered, wheat toast), Coffee
• So what do a couple of good-lookin' guys in the prime of their late youth slash early young adulthood do with themselves on a nice, warm Summer night? I'll give ya a hint... There was a farmer had a dog... That's right, kids... BINGO!
• We got to the Bingo hall about half an hour early. Size it up. Grab the good seats. Put the ol' stare on the octogenarians. Let 'em know who rolled into town. Of course, the Early Bird rounds were in full swing, so all the seats near the snack bar were taken. No worries, we eased our way to a clear table and set up camp.
• An acquaintance gave me a bit of info I might need to know before I went, so I knew what a dauber was and that I needed one. I was told it's usually easiest to play two cards, but they had a special for buy two get one free, so we each got three. At the time I thought we played one bingo square each on every sheet per game. Oh, was I wrong. More on that later.
• We couldn't quite get how people knew what to do. Bingo's not just five in a row, no siree. It's crazy box patterns and multiple rows and criss-crosses and all evens for free and oh so many combinations. It wasn't quite clear what method was for each round. But then we finally saw there was a big lighted board telling us that, so we relaxed.
• Then the game started. Oh my god. Yeah, you think about it, it seems easy. They call a number, you look for it on your card, you mark it with the dauber, you wait for the next number. Yeah. It's not one square per sheet, it's one sheet per game. That was eighteen bingo boards each we had to pay attention to on each round. And those numbers went FAST. Sure, they showed a video with the next ball to be called, and they had a board keeping track of it all, but until you've actually done it, don't judge our lack of preparedness. Adder couldn't hack it, so he went down to two. My OCD kicked in (and the thought of missing a potential winning card) so I took over and did four sheets for a while. That didn't last long.
• I finally got into the swing of things. Some folks sitting near us helped us out from time to time. I got the rhythm of scanning the cards quickly. Almost won a couple of times. But then, practically everyone almost wins. When all was said and done, we had a somewhat creepy feeling. We enjoyed ourselves. We're just not sure why.
• Four hours later, we were at Denny's. I wanted to get something new, and saw the Western Wing Round-Up Skillet. It was all BBQ wings, but I was pretty sure I'd be able to get the waitress to do it half Buffalo style. It would have been easier if I had been able to pronounce the name of the item. The waitress mocked me for getting tongue-tied, but when challenged, she couldn't say it three times real fast. So there. Nyeah. But hey, she did do halvsies for me.
• Maybe she felt the eternal shame of having lost her honor at not pronouncing the menu items, but she was a horrible waitress. Well, not horrible. She didn't have sores on her arm, and bodily fluids didn't find their way into our food. But she didn't check up on us, either, and Adder didn't get much coffee. When we tried for the free stuff, she wouldn't even talk to us; she just handed us over to the manager, Gurardo. We still didn't get anything. Adder, ever the gentleman, paid for my meal, so I left a nice tip. Adder said he wouldn't have.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6919 San Leandro, California 28 May 2005 1:40pm PDT 15015 Freedom Ave. (510) 278-9826

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Sonya
• Wait-person(s): Manuela
• What we ate: P7A77: Coke Float; Adder: Vanilla Shake; Sonya: Root Bear Float
• Full of energy and excitement after viewing the oldest functioning light bulb in the world, we stopped by something we saw off the highway on the way over... MINI GOLF. Denny's, Batman, landmarks, and now this. The day couldn't possibly get better. We briefly got lost trying to find the gigantic fun palace immediately off the highway, but we're aimless like that. Fairly decent course considering they don't like to design fun mini golf courses in California. They probably figure the ocean, mountains, rivers, and parks are enough outdoor entertainment for us. Well, not those of us from Ohio, damnit! We want decent mini golf! This one had the requisite windmill as well as an opportunity for us to pretend like we're twelve years old with our humor. Not like we need much excuse to do that.
• Oh yeah, Denny's. Sonya had the bright idea to get an ice cream float, which was much preferred to the milkshake I had been planning on. Yes, I sometimes plan what I'm going to eat at which Denny's. Listen, you spend a fair portion of your life hopping from Denny's to Denny's and then tell me that pacing yourself isn't a good idea.
• At first I had a good feeling about this place. We were at the end of a satisfying day, we were sitting at the counter, and the waitress seemed friendly. But when I tried to do the usual bit at the end, she got all confused on us. Well, back up a second. She's the one who did the confusing. We didn't get a meal ticket, just her telling us how much it was. I asked for a ticket, and she didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. Maybe she wanted to pocket $15. So that threw me off, and I wasn't too good in describing what I was doing.
• What's really distressing about this entire run is that nobody I talked to knew who Weird Al Yankovic was. This has been a trend lately. Not even, "oh, wait, that one guy, right?" No hint of name recognition. Its a sad state of affairs in this nation's second-rate chain diner network, I tell you what.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #6932 Benson, Arizona 20 January 2000 6:45pm MST 825 North Ocotillo Road (520) 586-6618

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Zebulon ("Zeb")
• What we ate: P7A77 - Smothered Cheese Fries, Coke; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Coke; Jon - Lumberjack Slam (eggs over easy), Hashbrowns, Coke
• The group of us were going up to the Denver area on some family business, which seemed a perfect time to get in some Denny's entries. So we all loaded up in Der Saturn and headed off. Well, actually, first I checked MapQuest to get an idea of the Denny's on the way, then we loaded up. While MapQuest sure is handy, it sort of takes the fun out of driving along and just stopping when you see Denny's. But on the other hand, we use the Denny's Travel Guide, which isn't too much different. Plus, it's nice to have an idea of what lies ahead so you can pace yourself. Nothing worse than saying "I'll eat at the next one" and then having to wait three hours.
• Anyway, back to piling into Der Saturn. We have a coupe, not a sedan. Amie is 5'11. I'm 6'2. Jon is 6'5. Basically, this meant that we'd all have the pleasure of causing severe back problems to ourselves as we lay across what pass as two back "seats" for one-third of the trip. We suffer for our art.
• A few things made this trip special. First, it had been a while since a serious Project:Denny's trip. Second, there was going to be a lunar eclipse. And third, we had a video camera. That's right, Project:Denny's now has motion. Now you can hear what I sound like, and experience first-hand how truly boring most of the visits are. There are seven parts to the series, which are broken up into bite-size quicktime video chunks (ranging from two to five megs or so). However, after all the entries there is an option of viewing a RealVideo version (for the bandwidth challenged), or a higher-resolution straight-through video (for those who are blessed). If you're reading this entry either through the alphabetical or numerical index, get your butt over to the chronological listing so that you can view them all in some sort of logical order. That's how I prefer you read these damn things anyway.
• This was as good as start as one can expect for an all-night trip. Everyone was in pretty good spirits still, and we had Zeb as our waiter. He said his full name was Zebulon, and that he was named after the grandfather from "The Waltons", which is the only television show his mother was allowed to watch while she was growing up. Welcome to America's great southwest, ladies and gentlemen. Which brings up a joke Jon shared with us while we ate: Why are cowgirls bowlegged? Because cowboys never take their hats off when they eat. Badum-bum. Jon also enlightened us with the phrase "shut your cockholster", so that should give you an idea of the level of conversation we were having.
• It was Zeb's fourth day on the job. We seem to get a lot of new employees waiting on us. Can you say "high turnover rate"? We didn't know this at first, but he asked Amie how she wanted her eggs cooked on the Moons. Uh... there's only one option, Zeb. He was good natured, though, and said he was "just making sure". Better than many people who can't even get what you order right. And as far as waiters go, Zeb was pretty darn good. Prompt, friendly, personable, and he gave us free stuff. Three cheers for Zeb. I just like saying Zeb. Zeb, Zeb, Zeb.
• Moving on, the cook wasn't as concerned with attention to detail as Zeb was. Jon's toast was soggy, Amie's ham was overcooked, and my cheese fries looked like they had been sitting out for half an hour. If only that was the worst thing about them. They caused some of the foulest smelling flatulence I've ever had come out of my body. On top of that, it was my shift to sit in the back, so while in the car I was angled in such a way to have my ass sticking up right between the two front seats. At least it caused Amie to get us to the next Denny's more quickly.
• WAY: a customer from the night before (there was also a Willie Nelson look-alike)
• Free Stuff: Dessert Menu
• Video: Mile High Club Part I (~2.4MB)

Denny's #6942 Phoenix, Arizona 04 February 2001 4:15pm MST 2525 W. Deer Valley Rd. (6020) 587-1227

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Pat (general manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• Now this is more like it. It seems that employees generally don't care about giving stuff away, but managers (especially daytime) are usually all tight-assed about it. But then when they get higher in the ranks they start not caring again. Pat first offered to give me a few of his wait staff, but I opted for the carafe.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Orange Juice Carafe

Denny's #6981 Socorro, New Mexico 21 January 2000 12:45am MST 913 California St. NW, I-25 exit 150 (505) 835-2504

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Nicolas
• What we ate: P7A77 - Veggie Cheese Omelette, Coffee, Water; Amie - Bagel & Cream Cheese, Hashbrowns, Water; Jon - All-American Slam, Orange Juice, Water
• On our way north there was border patrol stop. We're talking a couple hundred miles into the state. Which seems sort of silly. I mean, once you get over the border, wouldn't you take side roads if you knew there was a big ol' honkin' stop on the freeway? Another odd thing about New Mexico is that at most exits they have big signs saying how many "modern" facilities they have at this exit. I can understand having to say that you have modern gas stations and restrooms, but wouldn't it just be good enough to have a little sign that says as much, and not these huge billboard-size things that list exactly how many? And one more thing: they have signs that say "Gusty Winds May Exist". How very Zen.
• I saw that across the parking lot from the Denny's was a store that seemed to sell nothing but beef jerky. Mmm. I love beef jerky. What right-thinking person doesn't? Fortunately for Amie and Jon (re: the cheese fries incident), it was closed.
• We also stopped for gas in Socorro. No video this time, but they had little television monitors at the pumps. So I got to watch Mama's Family as I fueled up. Is this sort of thing really necessary in our society?
• This Denny's had a very strong sulphur smell. We learned that they had a busted pipe that wouldn't be fixed for quite some time. Bleh.
• Nicolas was fun. He was from France. And rather than ask all the specifics about if we wanted fries or hashbrowns or how we wanted the eggs and whatnot, he just asked if we wanted it like it was on the menu. We commented that if it looks like that, they deserve an extra tip, since usually not even the french fries look like they do on the menu.
• A while later we heard the waiter and cook bickering about the All-American Slam. Something about the eggs. We hoped the cook wasn't going to spit in the eggs or something, and also doubted it would look anything like the menu now. Amie also started drinking Jon's orange juice. Her reason was that she meant to order some of her own and she thought that she did and it was hers. We were all a bit tired by this point.
• We shouldn't have doubted the cook. The food arrived quickly and looked, dare I say it, perfect. The photo doesn't do it justice, but the Veggie Cheese Omelette couldn't have looked any better. Just the right balance of everything, overflowing enough to look full and appetizing, but not too much to be messy. Damn tasty, too. Hashbrowns cooked to perfection. I don't know who the cook was, but he should get some sort of recognition.
• When it came time to get the free stuff, I explained to Nicolas what it was all about, and he went on a quest to find stuff. He came back with a handful of crayons and asked if we had any of those. We said yes, we did, but that was okay. Then he pulled out of his pocket a coffee table display. And a name tag. And a kid's menu magazine. And ZOOBS! Bless your heart, Nicolas! On top of that, Nicolas was our best candidate for a WAY, tho' he denied it.
• So make sure you stop by this Denny's late at night, for you just might find Nicolas and the cook. You won't be disappointed.
• WAY: Nicolas
• Free Stuff: crayons, coffee table display, name tag, kid's magazine, ZOOBS
• Video: Mile High Club Part IV (~1.7MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #6988 El Monte, California 19 October 2000 8:35pm PDT 3540 North Peck Road (818) 442-1314

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jessica
• What we ate: nothing
• I didn't learn much from the Baldwin Park experience, because once back on the highway, I proceeded to get in the left lane again, which required more near-death experiences navigating the off-ramp. It wasn't very good planning on my part to have the evening part of our journey happen in the middle of a major metropolitan area with a Denny's at every other exit. At the very least, it wasn't good planning to have me be the driver.
• There were a few fire trucks in the parking lot. Amie said she saw a kitten wandering around, but I don't think the firefighters were there to get it out of a tree. They really didn't seem to be doing much of anything other than sitting around.
• It took a while to get something out of them because Jessica wasn't sure what she were supposed to do. I used this confusion to try to get a carafe out of her, but no luck. I got her to start reaching for the mugs when she said that they had cameras and the manager could see what she was doing. Right after that the manager came out. He didn't seem to care what I was doing, and told Jessica to give me a mug. It took a few times of her asking him if he was sure before she finally did.
• After leaving, Amie thought she saw a sign for another Denny's on the other side of the highway, so I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out my way through dark car dealership parking lots before I finally gave up. We saw another one as we were passing by the next exit off the highway, but I decided two close calls with fiery disaster were enough for one night, so we skipped it.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #7025 Tempe, Arizona 01 January 2000 5:07am MST 650 N. Scottsdale Rd. at 202 (480) 858-9276

• Attendees: P7A77, Erich "Crackbaby" Newell, Roni, Katchur, Kevin Deggo Smurf, Michigan "SlimBilly.com" Jim
• Wait-person(s): Carlos
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelette, English Muffin, Hashbrowns, Coffee, Water; Crackbaby - Two Eggs Over Easy w/ Tabasco Sauce, Wheat Toast w/ Extra Butter, Coffee, Water; Roni - All American Slam w/ Extra Egg, No Bacon ("To Save the Children"), Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered w/ Gravy on Side, Chocolate Milk, Water; Katchur - Sirloin Steak & Eggs Over Easy, White Toast, Coffee, Water; Kevin - Scram Slam, Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Coffee, Water; Jim - Meat Lovers Skillet w/ Eggs Over Easy, Sourdough Toast w/ Lots o' Butter, Coffee, Water
• Since the world didn't seem to be blowing up or disappearing or reverting to the bronze age by mid-afternoon on December 31, Amie and I decided to put away our shotguns, climb down from our roof, and go up to Tempe for a NYE party (hosted by Erich and Roni and their housemates) and to see Fantasia 2000 the next day at the IMAX, since we don't have one in Tucson. And, of course, for Denny's.
• The party was fun... lots of drinking and smoking and carrying on. And playing Euchre with playing cards with naked pictures on 'em. High class stuff. So shortly before dawn we transported the game and a few straggling bodies down the street to the relatively new Denny's (new enough that it wasn't covered on my last trip to Tempe, at any rate).
• We had trouble getting seated. Nobody seemed to want us. I saw a couple of the hosts and waiters bickering with each other about who would take us. Finally the loser begrudgingly led us over to his section and took our drink orders.
• Happily, he was just the host, not our waiter. Carlos, wearing a festive party hat, came by a little later. We feared that Carlos had worked all night and would be angry and bitter about having to spend the potential end of the world surrounded by Scram Slams and Moons Over My Hammy, but it turns out he had gotten off of work early enough to party hardy and was called back into work after midnight. He told us that when he arrived to work he was still rather drunk, but that it had worn off and now he was just hungry. But at least he was able to have his fun.
• I was going to try to get multiple shots around the table and splice together a nice interactive panoramic thing, but I was using a different camera. My camera counts down how many pictures you have left, so I looked at this one, saw that it said "23", and figured I had plenty of shots. Alas, I did not, which is why I only have what you see here. A pity.
• The plan was to hit this Denny's on New Year's, then maybe get a few in Phoenix and the two on I-10 that I haven't been to yet. But Amie got sick. I won't get into the details of how sick she was, but she was in the bathroom at about seven in the morning - not completely sober - having fluid coming simultaneously out of most or all of her orifices. She tried to call me in there to help her, but I was passed out on the couch. Thank goodness, too, because I got to hear all about what I'm sparing you. She's just glad they had cleaning supplies in their bathroom. And a shower.
• So we didn't go to any more Denny's. We did get to see Fantasia 2000, though, and it was a treat. And since we could only get tickets for the late show, we stayed another night and went to the same Denny's the next morning for breakfast. We even got Carlos the waiter. He didn't recognize me, which is surprising, since I had on the same clothes. Or maybe he just didn't want to.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: Beverages (given), Coffee Mug (stolen)

Denny's #7051 Morro Bay, California 20 October 2000 12:40pm PDT 850 Quintana Rd. (805) 772-3827

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jami
• What we ate: nothing
• The front of this restaurant is sorta neat looking as far as these things go. It's an almost Japanese-style design, tho' I think part of that is from camera angle and slope of the driveway. It took me a long time to get anything out of these people. They were confused, as most all daytime employees are, and Jami went in the back to find me something and was gone for a LONG time. I figured she was just hiding back there until I left, so I wandered around and happened upon this. You can't see it clearly in the photo, but this was composed of multiple painted panels at varying levels to give it that 3D quality. The only thing that frightens me more about someone displaying such a thing is that it was made in the first place.
• I didn't have time to reflect upon it further, because Jami finally came back and gave me an apron! It has that smell that all Denny's aprons have, no matter how many times you wash it. Now I have a place to put all my pins.
• Since the reason we were taking this route and not the Denny's-filled I-5 is because of the scenic highway. So here, for you, are a few postcard-esque pictures from that drive. This first one is a shot of some rocks and the ocean. Here's another of the ocean with some rocks. And this is Amie sitting on some rocks in front of the ocean.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Apron

Denny's #7054 Tucson, Arizona 04-July-97, 9:30pm MST 6910 E. Tanque Verde (520) 546-9218

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): ???
• What we ate: P7A77 - Buffalo Chicken Sandwich, Fries, Coke; Amie - San Fran Burger Melt, Fries, Coke
• We started out our evening at the festivities on 4th Avenue (seeing as it was Independence Day and all), soaking in the sun and munching on ice cubes and pondering going down to the casinos. After a bit of listening to some forgettable local band playing on the street, we headed off to that big orange building downtown in order to watch the fireworks. (Amie and I had made friends with someone whose fiancé worked in that building so we got a kick-ass view... tho' they have since left the city, as do most people we meet and befriend.) This was our first year in Tucson, and all of the locals kept going on and on about how the fireworks set "A" Mountain on fire every year, seeing as how we're in the desert and things are very dry and all. So after a half hour or so of moderately impressive fireworks, we were a bit disappointed that the mountain did not burst into flames as anticipated. Must've been because of El Niño.
  Moving on, since the fireworks were less than climactic, we were desperately searching for something else to do. I had remembered some feedback that some friendly viewers had sent me mentioning that a new Denny's was going up in Tucson around that time, so we thought we'd try our luck. Well, lo and behold, we were knee-deep in it! Luck, that is. Not only had this Denny's already opened, but it had just opened that day! Woo! Not only that, but we were the first customers that our waitress had ever had! Woo woo! And not only that, but there were some new items on the menu! Woo woo woo woo woo and woo! And not only that, but... uh... that was it, really. Needless to say, since our waitress was fresh as a spring chicken, she wasn't all hardened and bitter and crusty yet, so she was uncharictaristically friendly and prompt. Even though we had missed the deadline for the new menu items (they didn't offer them for the graveyard shift), we were able to convince her to let us order them anyway. (Actually, that bit was a combination of her friendliness and our taking advantage of her ignorance of the fascist regime of Denny's food serving schedules.) While waiting for our food, we chatted with her a bit about how she got the job and the Denny's training process and the like. She was a bit nervous when she first started serving us (seeing as how we were her first customers .. and we can be a bit intimidating, too), but by the end of the evening she seemed relaxed and confident. We decided to be nice and not mention the hair in Amie's sandwich.
  Though while the waitress was having a mighty fine evening, the manager seemed to be less enthused. The whole time we were there, he was running back and forth and making phone calls and talking to random people. Something about the paintings not being hung properly. And you all know just how important it is that the Denny's artwork be displayed as it was meant to be. The manager's mood was not facilitated by the fact that the "handyman" on duty didn't seem to really care if the painting was crooked or not.
  The final touch of the evening was the busboy whose shift had ended hours ago hanging out in one of the booths near us. Not even open 24 hours and already the employees are hanging around during their off-hours. It's those little things that make it all seem right.
  NOTE: The original photo for this trip was accidentally thrown away before it could be scanned, and I'm too cheap to pay for another print.
• WAY: No (but give them time)
• Free Stuff: A tri-fold baseball card display

Denny's #7065 Marietta, Georgia 25 December 1998 2:00am EST 2375 Delk Rd. at I-75 (770) 952-2129

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tony, Mayceo
• What we ate: Nothing
• We talked primarily with Tony the exceedingly gay waiter (in case you couldn't tell by the photo), and Mayceo overheard us. She asked us if this was some sort of joke. We asked if he wouldn't mind giving us an order pad, because I neglected to bring with me any paper, and I was tired of writing on napkins. They were more than eager to be in the photo (in case you couldn't tell).
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Order Pad

Denny's #7066 Atlanta, Georgia 27 December 1998 3:05pm EST 1935 Piedmont Circle at I-85 (404) 874-4522

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, ADYONKA, Fern Peterson
• Wait-person(s): Ritch (host), Randy (waiter)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Quesadilla (no guacamole), Coffee; Amie - Water; ADYONKA - Applesauce, Wheat Toast (dry), Diet Coke; Fern - Sampler (w/Ranch), Coke
• A friend of mine from college goes to school in Atlanta, and he was pleased as could be to go with me to an area Denny's. And he had a rough idea of where it was located, too, so that was helpful.
• The waiter was wearing some sort of cowboy priest outfit. That would've been weird enough, but while he was taking our order, he was standing at the booth next to us. There was nobody in that booth, so we were pretty sure that he was talking to us. It was like a covert operation. Knock three times if you want your drink with no ice. On the other hand, the booth did seem exceptionally small, so maybe his aim was just off. I had to request that my quesadillas not come with guacamole a few times before a light finally went off in his head and he said, "Oh, Guac." And apparently to him, "Guac" also means "Sour Cream", because I didn't get any of that, either. ADYONKA's toast was dry (as he requested), but it also had a little piece of some sort of meat on it. It looked like chicken. I told him to hold it between his knees. He didn't get it.
• While we were eating, we noticed an overly made-up waitress with a scarf around her neck sorting silverware. She was also wearing clip-on earrings (she took one off to answer the phone). When we got up to get our photo, we asked her to be in it with us. She refused, but offered to take it for us (after joking that it was "cash up front"). In order to get the proper angle, she had to get down on her knees, about which she had no qualms doing. When she saw that we were holding the oversized suckers in the photo, she commented that if it was a photo with suckers, maybe she should be in it.
• For those of you who need it spelled out:
  1. Overly made-up
  2. Scarf around the neck
  3. "Cash up front"
  4. On her knees
  5. Sucker
• That's right... this Denny's waitress was a drag queen. And quite a good one, too. Took a while for us to notice. Now I wish she had been in the photo with us.
• After visiting Denny's, we went up to Marietta to see the Big Chicken. I only wished I had known about this sight of a site before visiting the Marietta Denny's. Oh, well. We also got to grab a shot with the Colonel. If you're ever in the Atlanta area, do yourself a favor and visit the Big Chicken.
• All in all a very entertaining Denny's trip, mostly due to the hosting services of ADYONKA. Thanks, ADYONKA!
• WAY: Yes
• Free Stuff: Coke Display (stolen)

Denny's #7068 Macon, Georgia 26 December 1998 8:15pm EST 2530 Riverside Dr. at I-75, on access road (912) 745-5071

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Rachel Graham
• Wait-person(s): Nora
• What we ate: P7A77 - Chicken Quesadilla (no guacamole, extra sour cream), Coffee, Water; Amie - All-American Slam (all sausage - no bacon in Macon), White Toast, Water; Rachel - Home-Made Spaghetti (made by the manager, John)
• This is what Denny's is all about. When we arrived, the place was packed to the gills. Not an open table in sight. We were thinking we'd be stuck at the counter, which wouldn't be so bad, except that we wanted to kick back and relax for a while after the hellish drive from Savannah. Anyway, while we were standing in the lobby weighing our options when a woman came up to us, told us that she had a booth but that her friends weren't going to be there for quite some time, and asked if we wanted to sit with her. A regular. Inviting me to her table. Hot damn you betcha I want to sit with her! (And hell, it beat waiting around for forty minutes.)
• Her name was Rachel, and she showed us a few of the sights. The wall by her head had stab marks from a butter knife. The painting by the booth had some creamer stains. She was eating spaghetti that had been made by the manager and brought in for the staff (even though she's not an employee). She said the regulars are always getting special menu items and freebies and whatnot. And as most of you loyal readers know, finding a Denny's these days that's kind to its young punk regulars is difficult.
• Before we left, we exchanged a few food combination favorites. She suggested mayonnaise with french fries (always a favorite of mine), but also said that either ranch dressing or sour cream (not both together) are good on seasoned fries. I usually get barbecue sauce with my seasoned fries, so I'll have to try that.
• So if you're ever in town (perhaps checking out their local baseball team, the Macon Whoopie... I'm not kidding), check out the Denny's. Rachel's booth was in the corner by the phones and bathrooms. Even if you don't like it, it was a perfect way to end a long day's trek around Georgia.
• WAY: Matt (not an employee - one of the regulars)
• Free Stuff: Orange Juice Carafe insert (given by Rachel)

Denny's #7070 Atlanta, Georgia 25 December 1998 7:10pm EST 1860 Corporate Square Blvd. NE, off I-85 in the Industrial Park (404) 321-1099

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cecil
• What we ate: P7A77 - Half of a slice of Keylime Pie; Amie - The other half of a slice of Keylime Pie
• The directory says that this Denny's is off I-85 in the Industrial Park, leading one to believe that either the Denny's is easy to see from the highway, or the Industrial Park is easy to find right off the exit. Neither is true. We drove around in every single business complex area that we could find - on either side of the highway - and couldn't find Corporate Square Blvd. We did find a litter of abandoned kittens in the woods behind a hotel, which made us sad. It looked as if someone was leaving food for them every few days, though, so that was good. A local raccoon thought it was good, too, as it seemed to have made itself at home with the cats.
• Finally we gave up and asked for directions. When we entered, we were greeted by the Good Advice Of The Day: "A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned". Me, I say a penny saved is a gumball.
• We initially ordered the lemon meringue, and Cecil very much approved of our order. Then he came back and told us they were out. No matter, the Keylime was very good, too. It even looked better than it does in the photos. When we got up to pay, there was a problem with the cash register or something, so Cecil just approximated the total and we paid him in cash. Upon further reflection, I realized that dessert orders are gotten by the waitstaff and not from the kitchen, so they don't need to go through the computer system. Cecil probably just pocketed the cash. Oh, well. He deserved it.
• I happen to think that the photo from this trip is one of the better I've taken (right up there with me in the chef's hat in front of the Mother Butler Pie sign from a few years ago... and both photos taken by Amie). You can't tell in the photo, but I was wearing my beautiful multi-colored Denny's necktie that was sent to me as a gift from jstern@slonet.org. Just a shameless reminder that I'm always open to gifts of cash and merchandise.
• After visiting this Denny's we went to Centennial Park (since we were tourists). If you haven't been there, they have a fountain in the shape of the Olympic Rings. It's level with the ground, so you can walk through it. The water shoots up at seemingly random intervals, so if you're not careful you could get stuck in the middle of a ring or get a shot of cold water up your crotch. But then again, some people probably get "stuck" on purpose. Anyway, it was very cold out and I thought all the people running through the fountain were nuts. And of course I had to join them.
• Oh, and the helium tank next to the cash register (at Denny's, not the fountain) was covered with a Space Jam blanket.
• WAY: There was a guy who had the same glasses, but that's about it.
• Free Stuff: Christmas Table Display (stolen)

Denny's #7071 Norcross, Georgia 25 December 1998 3:15am EST 5534 Jimmy Carter Blvd., near Cub Foods (770) 448-8762

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sandra (not Cyprus, as it said on the ticket), Jennifer (the manager)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coke, Biscuits & Gravy; Amie - Coke, Hashbrowns
• Sandra was overly pleased with (tho' rather timid about) my placing a beverage order. "I'll have a Coke." "Thank You!!" It was almost as if my placing an order was a relief to her. I'm not sure what else she thought I was going to do. Later we found out that she had only been working at this Denny's for forty-five minutes. Ever. She mentioned something about how she usually worked at the Tucker Denny's, and said it in a way that suggested we were supposed to know what that meant. We just smiled and nodded and left it at that. Didn't want her pleasure with us going horribly wrong.
• While we were eating, we noticed a really cool 3-D Coke and Orange Juice display on the table. We were getting a "no free stuff" vibe from this place, so Amie suggested I just put it under my jacket. So I did.
• On the way out, we decided to grab a photo next to the All Dogs Christmas Carol display. Both Sandra and Jennifer (the manager) saw us doing this, and both ran right over to be in the photo. They sure do get all worked up and excited over the silliest little things at this Denny's.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Coca-Cola Table Display

Denny's #7072 Decatur, Georgia 25 December 1998 5:00pm EST 4650 Memorial Dr. off I-185 (404) 294-1125

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Marlana
• What we ate: P7A77 - Turkey Holiday Feast; Amie - Ham Holiday Feast
• This Denny's was extremely busy, and very few people seemed to be working. So much for Brant's little theory about people getting fired if they didn't work on Christmas. But then again, maybe a lot of people got fired. It's more likely that Denny's is a franchise company and that every store sets its own rules with regards to that sort of thing.
• There were several groups of people in front of us, so we had some time to kill in the lobby. I decided to try to win a stuffed gorilla. I noticed the sign on the machine that gave the prices for the game. One game was fifty cents, two games were a dollar, and ten games were five dollars. What a bargain! And what a leap of mathematics! Why, I bet twenty games are ten dollars and forty-seven games are twenty-three dollars and fifty cents. I didn't win a stuffed gorilla. But while I was preoccupied with the machine several people in front of us left (I don't think it was because of me), so we were able to be seated a bit sooner.
• This was the first time that either Amie or I ever ordered from the dinner menu at Denny's, and it will probably be a long time until we order from the dinner menu again. The food was less than satisfactory. The meat was cold, the gravy was lousy, and half of the food items promised on the menu (i.e., stuffing and cranberries) were nowhere to be seen.
• The helium tank next to the cash register was covered with children's bedsheets with pictures of flying disk drives and the like.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #7073 Dunwoody, Georgia 25 December 1998 2:30am EST 1888 Cotillion Dr., access road off I-285 (770) 393-1171

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tim (also host, cook, and cashier)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee, Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered; Amie - Water, Bagel with Cream Cheese
• We got off the freeway one exit too early and went all the way through Dunwoody until we got to the Denny's, which ended up being right off the following freeway exit. When we got there, it looked closed. The outside sign was turned off, and inside there was just one group at a corner booth, and they looked like there were employees having some sort of meeting. I never stopped to think that they probably wouldn't be having an employee meeting at 2:30 in the morning on Christmas day, but after Brant's words on management policy, anything was possible.
• Tim was sitting at the counter when we arrived. He wasn't in any sort of Denny's garb, so I thought he might be a customer. Of course, I was still thinking they were closed and having an employee meeting, so this just added to my overall confusion. He told us that they were open and sat us. He hinted that a waiter would eventually be with us (since he was the cook), but he took our drink orders. Then he brought us our drinks and took our food orders. Then he brought us our food and gave us our check. Then he took our money when we went to the cash register. We asked Tim why he wasn't a manager, and he laughed and said that it was because being a manager sucks (or words to that effect). We've gotten this answer more than once from exceptional employees to whom we've asked that question.
• The food was very good, but I should note that while my hashbrowns were covered, they were by no means smothered. Amie would like it to be known that she found the toilet seat to be very cold..
• WAY: Not in ten years (the amount of time Tim had been working there)
• Free Stuff: New (and much needed) Travel Directory!

Denny's #7074 Smyrna, Georgia 25 December 1998 1:09am EST 2540 Cobb Pkwy., off I-285 (770) 953-9060

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Brent (host), Brant (waiter)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Coffee, Sampler; Amie - Hot Chocolate, Mozzarella sticks from P7's Sampler
• This is the first new Denny's I attended in close to a year. I didn't want it to be. I had planned on going to a bunch of Denny's in the Miami area in early September. (I was going there for other reasons, but I extended my stay for the purposes of Denny's visits... that's how much I care about you, my loyal readers. Really.) Unfortunately, that big freakin' hurricane was scheduled to hit Florida on the exact day I was scheduled to hit Florida, even tho' I made my plans first. Stupid hurricane. You may be wondering why this is relevant. Why is this guy telling you about Denny's he didn't even visit? Shouldn't he be getting on to the Denny's at hand? You're probably wondering this even more if you're reading this entry through the Alphabetical or Numerical index instead of the intended Chronological index. And by now you're probably just hoping that I'll shut up about it completely.
• Well, you ungrateful impatient people, this is relevant because I was scheduled to go to Atlanta via Chicago the night of December 24. (For those of you who are aware that I live in Arizona, it seems rather odd that I would fly to Georgia via Illinois, but I don't write the schedules.) The weather had been pretty mild all winter. By December 23 I was getting pretty excited. Then I turned on the news. Not only was Chicago getting a whole bunch of snow and ice, but Atlanta was having some sort of record snowfall or some such. But thankfully, aside from a mild delay, all was well and I was able to go. (Ironically, if I had been flying through Dallas, I wouldn't have been so lucky, since all flights through there were canceled, so I thanked American Airlines for their bizarre scheduling.)
• Moving on.
• This was a pretty good Denny's visit to start off a fairly long string of visits. Nothing terribly spectacular happened, but it was an enjoyable experience overall. When we walked in, we noticed two distinct sections: the Alternateen section and the Scary Fat People section. We were seated in the Alternateen section by Brent.
• Service was fairly prompt and friendly. We chatted with Brant a bit, and learned that he was from Akron, Ohio, and had been planning on moving back, but he had recently gotten a speeding ticket, so was stuck in Smyrna. When asked about how he felt about working on Christmas, he said that he had no choice, as management stated that anyone who didn't work on Christmas would be fired. We also learned that he was roommates with Brent.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Holiday Menu, Beverages

Denny's #7078 Tucker, Georgia 25 December 1998 4:35pm EST 1817 Mountain Industrial at I-285 at State Rt. 78 (Stone Mountain) (770) 491-1302

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): N/A
• What we ate: N/A
• And then Sandra's comments made sense. From the highway I saw the blackened sign. I knew nothing good could come of it. We drove into the parking lot and saw that there was a message taped to the door. We feared the worst - that the Denny's had closed down. But no! It was simply a notice that they were remodeling, and a suggestion of other area Denny's to visit. Of course, depending on your point of view, this could be bad news, as it means that the lovely brown and yellow decor will be replaced with one of the new more "modern" color schemes, and the road sign will no longer have the older funkier logo. So, in effect, this Denny's has closed down. The king is dead. Long live the king.
• WAY: N/A
• Free Stuff: N/A

Denny's #7089 Savannah, Georgia 26 December 1998 2:45pm EST 6801 Abercorn Street (912) 352-3782

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tasha
• What we ate: P7A77 - Gardenburger, French Fries, Coffee, Water; Amie - Gardenburger, French Fries, Unsweetened Iced Tea
• Initially we were going to go south of Atlanta, getting Macon and Columbus and the various Denny's around those cities. But then we decided to go to Savannah instead. And thank goodness for the new Denny's Travel Guide! For those who haven't seen it, they have descriptions of a lot of those word games you played as a kid but that have long since buried themselves in the dark recesses of your memory. We played them during most of the trip (mostly "I Like / Dislike", "Who Am I?", and "Funny Bunny"). In "Funny Bunny", the object is to think of a phrase with rhyming words and then give a "definition clue" from which the other players have to guess your phrase. For instance, "Funny Bunny" is the answer to "Amusing Rabbit". You get the idea. One definition clue Amie came up with was "Finicky Prostitute".
• Aside from enjoying the travel games, we also took in the Georgia scenery. What we saw of it was pretty boring, but it was overcast the whole time, so maybe it looks more idyllic in sunshine. There were plenty of signs advertising honey and peanuts, but no signs advertising honey roasted peanuts. There were also quite a few junkyards and I saw several beautiful buses, which just made me long for the days when driving Das Büs was a regular occurrence for me. Sigh.
• Savannah itself was stinky. It smelled like it could stand to be washed and aired out for a while. But, again, it was overcast, so maybe it's better in the sun. The "squares" and houses in the area were nice enough, I suppose. We might've gone on a tour if the weather was better.
• After driving through Savannah we arrived at our first Denny's for the day. It was fairly nice inside. It might have even been able to pass for a real restaurant if there hadn't been so much garbage all over the floor. Plus, the waitress was rude. Since I had never tried a vegetarian meal at Denny's I decided to go for the Gardenburger. When I ordered, the waitress had to first check to make sure they had them. When it arrived, it was sans cucumber and the low-fat dressing. I asked if it was supposed to come with all that (knowing full well that it is), and the waitress said no. I was able to get her to bring me some honey mustard dressing on the side, but I doubt it was their low-fat variety. Amie liked the Gardenburger. I thought it was okay, but not something I would get regularly. But I was also in a bad mood because of my lack of cucumber, so maybe I'll give it a second chance some day. But I will not be giving this Denny's a second chance. Granted, I will probably never be in Savannah again, but it was a poor dining experience.
• By the way, it's "Choosy Floozy".
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #7099 Cabazon, California 19 October 2000 5:35pm PDT 50920 Seminole Dr. (909) 922-0112

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Hjordis (general manager)
• What we ate: nothing
• This Denny's more than made up for the previous few lackluster visits. Behind the restaurant were two sculptures featured in a certain special-effects laden motion picture containing the most memorable dinosaur scenes ever put on film... that's right, these are the dinosaurs from the Burton/Reubens/Hartman epic, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure! Here's a shot of both of them, of the T-Rex, and of the Brontosaurus with Denny's behind it.
• Hjordis the general manager is a pistol. She was very curt with me. I asked what the restaurant number was, and she demanded to know why I was asking her. I commented on her name (that I was reading and writing down from her name badge), and she proceeded to spell it for me, even though I was clearing reading it. I asked if there was a Weird Al look-a-like, and she asked if this was some sort of hobby of mine, and she wasn't phrasing it as a compliment. I immediately liked her. Even more so when she gave me a mug! Hot damn! Pee-Wee dinosaurs AND a mug! Maybe California isn't so bad after all.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Coffee Mug

Denny's #7135 Tehachapi, California 12 October 2001 9:00am PDT 9000 Magellan Street (661) 823-7380

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Sherri
• What we ate: nothing
• Now THIS was a found Denny's. We were driving through some beautiful mountains, but we were running out of gas. I stopped at the best chance I saw for a gas station, and thought to myself that it would be amusing to happen upon a Denny's right then in the middle of nowhere. Pull around to the gas station and... a Denny's right next to it.
• Of course, when I got out of the car and looked around, I saw there was a town up the hill a little bit, so no offense to the fine residence of Tehachapi. Speaking of which, I think that's a wonderful name. I had Sherri repeat it a couple of times just because I liked the sound of it. She knew everyone's names as they walked through the door. Ah, the regulars. Speaking of Sherri, she was super duper polite to me. And by "polite to" I mean "tolerant of".
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: Frequent Diner Card (good at Tehachapi location only)

Denny's #7152 Lordsburg, New Mexico 20 January 2000 8:30pm MST 1028 West Motel Drive (505) 542-3864

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, Jon Vanderford
• Wait-person(s): Rubin
• What we ate: nothing
• Well, why go through talking about this entry, since I have pretty much the whole thing on video? This is typical of a visit when we don't sit down and eat. For those who aren't going to view the video, we pretty much ran in, yelled at them about the lunar eclipse, got the free stuff, got video of the eclipse, and went away.
• Though something not included in the video is when we stopped for gas. While waiting in line to pay, I noticed a display of discounted videos. I just couldn't resist picking up "Welcome to Spring Break", based primarily on the back cover description. It reads better if you do it in that "movie preview guy" type of voice. Or if you happen to know one of the two people who do the voice-overs for all the trailers, get him to read it for you.
• "Spring break is usually the time for an old college tradition: hitting the beach for a little sun, surf, suds, and wet T-shirt contests ... a nonstop party of the wildest kind. But, this year, there's a difference. This year, one of the local bikers, Ed Diablo, has just been given "the chair." His last words were, "I swear I'll come back for revenge," which could explain the mounting body count of grisly murders being piled up by a terrifying biker with a shocking way of killing his victims -- more shocking even than the electric chair. His targets are pretty girls, Peeping Toms, anybody who gets in the way. Local authorities, like the sadistic police chief, the town's alcoholic doctor, and a sinister minister, keep the killings under wraps while the rest of the town is removing theirs. It's a spine-tingling, thrill-a-minute adventure as Gail, a victim's sister, and football star Skip Banacheck single-mindedly run down the mysterious biker from hell, with the rowdy madness and maximum exposure of spring break happening all around them."
• I mean, really, how can you turn down that? Not only does it pretty much tell you every plot point and work in at every opportunity the fact that there will be plenty of nakedness, but the protagonists single-mindedly, not single-handedly, track down the killer. Best $4.99 I ever spent.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: menus
• Video: Mile High Club Part II (~6.4MB)
• [NOTE: If you want to view the entirety of the video series, visit the original entries in the Chronological Reviews]

Denny's #7184 Lompoc, California 20 October 2000 10:15am PDT 1405 North H Street (805) 735-5560

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Mike & Rob (managers)
• What we ate: nothing
• While searching for a convenient place to eat in Santa Barbara, we ended up at The Good Earth (without Pearle Buck), which is a lot like a Denny's, only quieter and more expensive, and with seemingly more healthy versions of the food. Amie had the All-American, which was very similar to the All-American Slam. Hmm. We were taking the scenic highway up the coast, so we didn't expect to see any Denny's, especially since none were listed in our Travel Directory. But, lo and behold, on the edge of one of the towns sat that familiar green, red, and yellow sign!
• Mike & Rob acted like alert version of graveyard workers. Meaning they seemed keen on the project and didn't care about giving away stuff, but they moved at more than a sloth's pace. I asked if there was anyone who looked like Weird Al there, and they said that I sort of did. I'm not really sure if that makes any sense, since I really look nothing like Weird Al (not that I would mind if I did), but sometimes ya gotta put up with the wacky managers. And after a bit of thinking, they both said that Todd (who doesn't work there any more) looked like WAY, and that he was a manager!
• WAY: Todd (ex-manager)
• Free Stuff: Name Tag

Denny's #7200 Portage, Indiana 4 October 2002 1:53pm CDT 6717 Melton Drive (219) 764-0311

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Rool? Rook? Ian?
• What we ate: P7A77: Patty Melt; Amie: Grand Slam
• Not much to say about this, except anyone who poses like that is okay in my book. I can't quite make out his name tag in the original high-res photo, but it looks like Rool or Rooz. The receipt said Ian. I'm going with Rool.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Nothing

Denny's #7216 Chandler, Arizona 02 February 2001 7:00pm MST 1750 W. Chandler Blvd. (480) 782-7594

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): n/a
• What we ate: n/a
• They were really really really busy. Really. I was still bummed about the camera*, so after waiting around for a while and realizing that everyone there was probably in worse spirits than Summer, I left.
• *Okay, fine, I mentioned it again. Too damn bad.
• WAY: n/a
• Free Stuff: n/a

Denny's #7217 Sunnyvale, California 28 April 2001 11:55pm PDT 311 South Mathilda Avenue (408) 245-7720

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie, m_rien
• Wait-person(s): Alex
• What we ate: P7A77 - Buffalo Chicken Wings (w/ Ranch & Bleu Cheese), Diet Coke; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy (w/ Hashbrowns), Hot Chocolate, Water; m_rien - Scram Slam (w/ Hashbrowns & Rye Toast), Apple Juice, Water
• I had no idea when this day began that I'd end it taking photographs of stuffed animals.
• My good friend and fellow project regular Adder had come down from San Francisco to spend the weekend. Nothing really planned, just hanging out and doing stuff. We started the morning watching Fishing With John (fishing... with John...) on DVD and I made some omelets which I had hyped as being the best in the world but which came out just awful and yucky and all wrong. They tasted okay, but they weren't great, and the presentation was horrid. But that's okay.
• After breakfast I decided that I had to have a particular video game so Adder and I took a walk over to the bank near my house. I put my card into the ATM (note lack of "Machine" after that), typed in my PIN (same lack of "Number"), and asked it would it please if it didn't mind give me some money. It wouldn't. I had a quick flash to a few minutes previous when the woman using the ATM before me got all frustrated and went inside, and cataloged that for another future reference. I tried another ATM. Typed in my PIN. Asked for money. Bzzt, too bad. I again remembered the woman using the machines before me and decided that something must be wrong with the system and went inside myself. The lines were long, but I didn't care, as I had no real goals for the day, and besides, the bank was open on a Saturday, so you can't complain too much about that. When I finally got to the front I explained the situation to the person behind the counter, and the first thing the person asked was if I was using the right card. I looked at the card. It was not, in fact, the right card. I thanked them for their time and walked the gauntlet through the remaining waiting customers (all laughing at me, I'm sure of it) and out the door.
• On the way back home I stopped at Trader Joe's and picked up some red licorice that they have that is so darned tasty. I don't think red licorice is really licorice, but I admit I don't know too much about the subject, and everyone else calls it licorice, so I don't spend too much time worrying about it. Anyway, got back home, got the right card, decided to drive this time, and got my money. Now it was time to go to Fry's.
• I had never been to Fry's. It was awful. Very crowded and dark and cramped and they didn't have the game I wanted oh my god how could they not have it they are evil for this evil evil evil. Screw all this, I said, let's go over to a friend's house - let's call her "Babs" - and use her PlayStation 2. Well, actually, that was the plan all along, so I wasn't really taking that much command of the situation. It was really Fry's that eliminated the "purchase new game" part of it.
• So we spent a while at Babs' place getting vaguely technically impressed but with a slight anticlimactic air that happens when you play PS2 launch titles. Babs was actually out of town (but she said we could stop by for geekdom while she was gone), so we were surprised when the front door opened and who should walk in but Chuck D (credited above as m_rien)! Chuck's living situation had recently shifted and he was now staying at Babs'. Adder and Chuck exchanged pleasantries and when it was discovered that Adder lived in San Francisco and was going to take the train home later, Chuck said hell, let's drive up there and then go drink oyster shots! I wasn't sure. Chuck said he'd drive. Let's go!
• I've been told I'm taking way too long to get to the Denny's part of this Denny's entry, so suffice to say that the trip to San Francisco was very enjoyable. A few tidbits... it was discovered that Adder and Chuck went to the same gradeschool (in Singapore of all places) at the same time, tho' they never knew each other then. In fact, they had just met that day. Chuck displayed his complete lack of parallel parking abilities. The oyster shots were yummy.
• Okay, fine, Denny's. Really, how many of these reviews do you have to read before you realize that they're all exactly the same? The most notable thing about this Denny's is that there's a fireplace inside. But not fire (a customer offered to start one for me; I'm not sure he meant in the hearth). The waiter was surprisingly friendly, accurate, and fast... something rare to have at Denny's these day. Chuck would like to give a shoutout to #602 on EFnet, who should all know of stories about IRC ravers and gay sex in Denny's bathrooms. I would like one of them to tell ME these stories.
• There was the usual mix of customers: a young couple trying to have some private time, a family not at all being pleased by my jumping around and taking photos, and a gaggle of Denny's rats playing some sort of role playing game in the corner booths. One of 'em had a pet.
• Happy now?
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #7219 Santa Clara, California 04 July 1999 10:45am PDT 3715 El Camino Real (408) 296-1048

• Attendees: P7A77, Wade Bell, Matthew Ross Davis, Linnea, Barbara Reece, Michael Reece
• Wait-person(s): Pancho
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelette, Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, Rye Toast, Coffee, Water; Wade - Hotcakes, Coffee, Water; Matthew - 2 Egg Breakfast (over easy), Hashbrowns, Sourdough Toast, Coffee, Water; Linnea - 2 Egg Breakfast (scrambled), Country Fried Potatoes, Coffee, Orange Juice, Water; Barbara - Eggs Benedicts (no ham), Sourdough Toast, Hot Chocolate, Water; Michael - 2 Egg Breakfast (scrambled), Hashbrowns, Sourdough Toast, Orange Juice, Water
• We went to visit friends in San Francisco for a 4th of July weekend bash. This wasn't just any sort of pansy-ass cookout... this was a kick you in the head, slide your face around in the gravel, punch you in the gut, scrape your kneecaps to the bone sort of bash. We partied. HARD. When all was said and done I was awake for about forty hours, which isn't that big of a deal usually, but when one has been torturing his mind and body as I had been, it seems like an eternity. This trip to Denny's was made on about hour 28.
• The Denny's was only about a mile or so from the bash location, and since nobody was in much of a mood (or a state) to drive, we walked. The morning sun was cruel to my eyes, but refreshing to my body. The folks I was with were all tech-heads, and as we were walking I asked exactly where Silicon Valley was. They said I was right in the middle of it. This is at what I was looking when they said that. I was still mulling that over when I got to this point. Not quite what I expected.
• Finally we got to Denny's. It seems like a newer location because of the store number, but it was interesting to see the old style logo in a non-Denny's-shaped sign. Tho' at that point I really didn't care too much. I wanted to get in and eat.
• This was the first time I had been to a Denny's since they started their ZOOB promotion. For those who don't know or haven't seen it, ZOOBS are these little plastic modular toys that one can piece together to make various things (such as the "ZOOB DUDE"). It's a mix between Lego blocks and Tinker Toys. Same sort of concept. On their lobby display they had a note that they'd give you a set with which to play for free while you waited for your meal, and they also strongly suggested that one purchase more than one set, because look at all the fun things you can make with two, three, or even four sets of ZOOBS. What marketing. Get the kids hooked on playing with them, then show them how more is better. First one's free, but after that, it takes more and more to get the same feeling.
• We were seated, but they only had booths. We thought we might try to get everyone crammed into a booth, so we asked for a chair. Then we decided there'd be no way to get comfortable with that, so we opted for two booths. Alas, it was too late to stop the order for the chair, so we kept it anyway. Then, a few minutes later, the family at the large table across the aisle left (possibly prompted by our presence), so we swapped, putting their dirty dishes and tip on our table, and moving our drinks and silverware and bodies over to theirs. And, since it was still a little crowded, I ended up sitting in the chair.
• The meal came and went without incident. I noticed that most of my dining companions (picture two) had a two egg breakfast and sourdough toast. Must be a California thing. Every time the waiter came by, I asked about purchasing some ZOOBS. He kept saying he'd get some, but he never did. Finally he told me they were out. Blast! So I asked if I could buy the box that was in the front lobby display. He checked and said no. Well, then, since they were out of Zoobs, could I have one of the ceiling displays? He had to check on that. He came back and said that if I could get it down, I could have one. These things were eight or nine feet in the air, so he probably thought I'd never get to it. He must have forgotten the chair. A few steps and snips later, I was the proud owner of not only a ZOOB display, but a ZOOB DUDE and a ZOOB SCORPION (on the back of the display). Unfortunately, they were glued together, so I couldn't take them apart and make more ZOOB creatures, but in the grand scheme of things, I didn't really care.
• When all was said and done, this turned out to be one of the most fruitful Denny's trips I've taken. I mean, how can you go wrong with ZOOBS.
• As a footnote, Amie and I also did a little sightseeing (after a nap and a shower). Here's a nice shot of the Golden Gate Bridge, and another of us in front of said bridge.
• WAY: no
• Free Stuff: ZOOB Display

Denny's #7249 Tucson, Arizona 21 June 1999 6:00am MST 1510 W. Valencia (520) 295-1955

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Mary (trainer)
• What we ate: P7A77 - Grand Slam (sunny side up), Hashbrowns, Coffee, Orange Juice, Water
• I set my alarm for 4:00am the night before. I was excited, and had trouble getting to sleep. When the alarm started going off, I cursed a bit to myself that it sure didn't feel like it was 4 in the morning. It felt like much earlier. After a bit of investigating (and, unfortunately, waking up), I discovered that it was, in fact, 3 in the morning, and that I had inadvertently set my clock's time ahead an hour. Waking up at 3 in the morning is an evil, nasty thing. I very rarely wake up that early. It's more common that I'm going to sleep at that time.
• As I was leaving, I realized that Amie had my camera, and since she was away on business there wasn't much of a chance of me being able to get it from her. I went to Safeway to get a disposable camera, but they were closed. There wasn't enough time to scout out a 24-hour grocery, and I was staring to worry. Thankfully, 7-11 came to the rescue.
• By now you're probably wondering a few things. Why was I waking up so early? Why was I pressed for time? Why are you wasting your time reading these ridiculous pages? I can't answer that one, but as to the first two, I was going to a brand spanking new Denny's! It was scheduled to open at 6:00 that morning, and I was determined to be the very first customer. The reason I knew of its opening was that one of the trainers kindly sent me an email a few days previous informing me of it. And, to top it all off, it was a Denny's Classic Diner. I had never been to one before, and I can't think of a better way to have my first visit.
• I arrived at about 5:20. I wandered around, admiring the sunrise and taking photographs. I took note of the date and pondered why a restaurant famous for being open all night would choose to start business on the longest day of the year. I guess they thought they needed some practice with their night shift before the winter equinox rolled around.
• Some of my first impressions were that it was very cool looking, but I wondered if it would still feel like "Denny's". I theorized that it would probably be the cleanest Denny's I'd ever visited, but knew not to get my hopes up too much on that. I saw that they had outdoor seating, but the cramped parking lot, compared with the lack of shade and proximity to the main road, made me wonder how much it would get used. It would probably be fun for nighttime dining, but I suspect they don't allow people out there at night for security issues.
• I noted the new logo, which I like better than their previous new logo, but still not as much as the two versions of the logo that came before it. As an aside on that, one of the Denny's in my town that I previously visited had one of the really old trippy 60's logos on their road sign, but recently replaced it with this new one. A pity.
• After a while of wandering around and sitting in my car, I was beginning to question the sanity of being there so early, but at around 5:40am, while I was sitting in my car listening to the news, some guy just walked up and sat down at the bench right by the front door! A few minutes after that (so as not to seem pushy), I got out of my car and sat down on the other bench, and started chatting with him. Our conversation was painfully dull and strained, but when all was said and done, he let me go into the restaurant first when it opened.
• I sat at the counter by the jukebox. I put in my dollar and picked Greased Lightning, Get Back, and Joy to the World (all appropriate in their own ways), but some bizarre version of YMCA started playing, and very loudly. Don't get me wrong, I like the Village People, but this was an awful remix and the whole staff was looking at me and no doubt wondering why I would subject them to it. Finally someone came over and found the volume control.
• I figured an appropriate first meal would be the Grand Slam with all the side items that they like to put around it in the photos. While waiting for my order I looked over the new menu. A few new items, including "Simple Simon's Sampler", the "Lumberjack", and the "Fresh Fruit & Yogurt Slam". The first two are passable, but someone in marketing really needs to work on that last one. Regarding the previously mentioned cleanliness issue, I saw that the floor was a little dirty and even had some stains. I think that's the way they come from the factory. I didn't check for creamer stains on the paintings or duct tape on the booths, but I think I should have.
• My order arrived quickly (since they couldn't use the excuse that they were backed up), and it was, dare I say, the best Grand Slam I've ever had. Everyone was attentive, but not too attentive. The best part of all was when the waitress asked if I had a dollar bill on me. She said that if I did, that would be all I'd have to pay, and that they would frame it as their first dollar earned. This had nothing to do with the Project, of course, it was just because I was the first customer. I said, sure, I'd be tickled as punch, and other mixed metaphors. I figured I should write some encouraging words on the dollar, but I couldn't think of anything, so I wrote something utterly lame like "I'm honored" and signed it. I haven't been back to see where (or if) they framed it, or to give them a copy of the photo I took with them. And even tho' (and because of) I got the meal basically for free, I still left a sizeable tip. Let that be a lesson to all of you.
• So what are my thoughts on Denny's Diner? Eh. It's Denny's.
• WAY: no (but give them time)
• Free Stuff: the meal

Denny's #7280 Irazu, Costa Rica 2 December 2001 7:00am CST Frente al Puenta Juan Publo Segundo Restuarante Denny's contiquo Hotel Best Wester Irazu 231-3500

• Asistentes: P7A77, Amie
• Espere -person(s): Missouri
• Qué Comimos: nada
• Proyecto: Denny va internacional!
• Amie y yo hemos sido significado para tomar un viaje por una absolutamente cierta hora, pero las cosas guardadas siempre el hacer estallar para arriba o nosotros tuvimos que hacer esta otra cosa o lo que. Tan nosotros finalmente dichos no más a las funciones de la familia, las bodas, y similares y boletos planos comprados a Costa Rica. Y eso era ése.
• Comenzamos fuera de nuestro viaje en San Jose, California, condujimos hasta el aeropuerto internacional de San Francisco, y volamos a Los Ángeles, California, entonces a la ciudad de Guatamala, Guatamala, y conclusión en Irazu, Costa Rica, donde llevamos una furgoneta San José, Costa Rica.
• El San José era bastante agradable, para una ciudad industrializada shitty. Vimos un perro el sentarse en un umbral que Entramos una catedral o algo. Pienso que éste es el edificio que tenía el estatus asustadizo realmente grande de Jesús cerca del frente. Se es un rato, así que esto podría apenas ser un hotel. Estábamos parados en uno de los muchos cuadrados públicos y conseguimos hacer girar mareado alrededor bajo esto. Y colgamos hacia fuera en otro cuadrado público que miraba a través la alameda del alimento. Aquí es donde algún americano joven que era más familiar con el área suckered nos en darle tres bucks. Entonces llevamos un pequeño viaje del sitio Sarchi para mirar a algún individuo pintar los carros del buey.
• El San José nos cansó rápidamente, así que dirigimos en hasta el volcán de Arenal. Había sido nublado y lluvioso el tiempo entero que habíamos estado en el país. En hecho, incluso habíamos ido a un diverso volcán - el volcán de Paos, donde usted puede recorrer hasta que el labio de él - y no podríamos ver cinco pies delante de nuestras caras. Y ninguna fauna a hablar de. Todos fuimos tan apeshit cuando vimos esta cosa del racoon en la cara del camino. No un hallazgo verdadero, mientras que resulta, puesto que estas cosas hacen estallar para arriba todo concluído el lugar, esperando a turistas para ir apeshit y para alimentarlos. Cuál es lo que hicimos, también. Resultó ser el entusiasmo grande para el día, como este volcán, también, fue obscurecido por las nubes. Satornille eso, dijimos, y fuimos en un alza en las maderas alrededor del área. Un alza muy fangosa. En algunas maderas escarpadas malditas. Casi murió algunas veces. Bien, no realmente, solamente deseamos a. Pero entonces la cascada bonita en el fondo de la montaña la hizo todo de mérito. Clase de. Conseguía obscuridad y tuvimos que subir todo el respaldo de la manera, así que no podríamos permanecer de largo. Pero la visita a los resortes calientes volcánicos REALMENTE lo hizo todo de mérito. Y afortunado para nosotros, las nubes se dividió el día siguiente y podríamos verel volcán! Cada uno que hablamos con después ese era todo el abuzz. El volcán había sido ocultado al parecer por un mes entero. Incluso cuando los cielos estaban claros, las nubes formaron alrededor y enmascararon el volcán real. En la noche podríamos incluso ver la lava el venir abajo de las caras. Tan afortunado para nosotros. Y afortunado para mí tenía uno de mis tshirts preferidos con mí.
• Después de Arenal dirigimos en hasta Monteverde, que implicó un paseo del barco a través del lago al lado del volcán, y un mecanismo impulsor muy desigual y deslizadizo 4x4 con las tierras de labrantío del balanceo y las bajadas escarpadas. No conducíamos, por supuesto. No somos ESOS jóvenes más. Y no casi eso estúpido. Aquí es donde el 4x4 nos recogió. Esto es cuál estaba al lado de él. Una vez que consiguiéramos a Monteverde pasamos con muchos de los varios cotos y el bosque secundario del bosque y primario y todo el eso. Aquí está un spiderweb. Y aquí está un tiro agradable del sol a través de los árboles. Había un lugar en donde podríamos ir a través de estas pasarelas realmente largas y realmente altas concluído el más rainforest, que dio una gran visión desde arriba. Es también alrededor de donde vimos un manojo de monos del chillón que se ejecutaban y que saltaban a través de árboles.
• Tomamos un paseo agradable del barco a través de la reserva del negro de Cano. Vimos los iguanas y a cabritos que jugaban música, y ésa era justa en la manera allí. Pero la visión desde el río era bastante agradable, y conseguimos ver más monos. Y esta parte siguiente es de un diverso paseo del río en una diversa parte del país, pero tuve que agrupar estas fotos de alguna manera, y este ajuste bien. Este otro viaje del río era donde conseguimos ver los cocodrilos. Había manojos de ellos natación alrededor, pero entonces paramos y nuestro programa piloto salió y comenzó a golpear de un pollo muerto contra el agua, que por supuesto consiguió la atención de un cocodrilo algo grande ,que comió agradecidamente el pollo y acaba de nada lejos. El guía turístico nos dijo que que los no entrenen, solamente ellos sepa que un poco del alimento muestra para arriba cuando lo hace el barco, así que que es porqué aparecen. Y entonces colgamos hacia fuera en el río y miramos la puesta del sol.
• Pero este viaje no era paseos y rainforests justos, ningún siree del río. Usted sabe esos anuncios para la cerveza donde muestran a la gente que relaja en la playa perfecta con nadie otro alrededor, apenas el sonido de las ondas y los pájaros? Aquí es donde estábamos. Incluso los pescados muertos se parecían gozar el estar allí. Y aquí está un tiro de un poco de arena mojada. Éste es un árbol grande que estaba sobre la base de nuestro hotel. Fui de nuevo a la playa el día siguiente a conseguir un cuadro con mi tshirt preferido, pero era un revestimiento del dígito binario. Pero eso es aceptable, porque seguía siendo mejor que donde usted está ahora.
• Pero qué sobre Denny? Estoy consiguiendo a ése. En la manera de nuevo al aeropuerto en el día que dejamos, nosotros habló el programa piloto en parar en Denny por algunos minutos. Bien, Amie habló el programa piloto en él, pues ella es la que habla español. Acabo de hacer lo que había estado haciendo durante la mayoría del viaje, que era sonriente y de cabeceo y que esperaba yo no estaba a punto de ser saltado y ser empujado en un bolso de la arpillera. Tan aquí está. Aquí está Papá Noel en la azotea. Probar nos estábamos realmente en otro país, aquí somos una muestra escrita en español.
• Todas las buenas aventuras terminan con un funcionamiento musical, y las nuestras no eran ninguna anomalía. Nuestros buenos amigos (quiénes esperamos un día la haremos grande y nos tomaremos adelante para el paseo), la espita de t y Trancenden tenían su funcionamiento del principio de su nuevo grupo de la cruce, t.vs.T. You should check 'em out. Good stuff. Usted debe controlar el ' em hacia fuera. Buena materia. Amie, como fotógrafo autonombrado de la venda, tomó muchos cuadros de la tarde. Éste es mi favorito.
• Y por eso, con ese, proyecto: Denny va por todo el mundo.
• WAY: No
• Materia Libre: Menús Y Etiquetas engomadas De Carry-Out
• NOTA: Más fotos de Costa Rica están aquí; más fotos de t.vs.T. están aquí.

Denny's #7297 Tucson, Arizona 23 February 2001 12:00noon MST 4040 E. 22nd St. (520) 745-3904

• Attendees: P7A77, Gal, Debi, Sang, Aaron, Kevin, Scott, Mark, Phil
• Wait-person(s): Terrance
• What we ate: P7A77 - Ultimate Omelette, Hashbrowns Covered & Smothered, English Muffing, Coffee, Water; Gal - Moons Over My Hammy, Seasoned French Fries, Coke; Debi - Salmon Salad, Water; Sang - Ultimate Omelette, Hashbrowns, Wheat Toast, Orange Juice; Aaron - Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Biscuit, Milk; Kevin - Bacon Cheddar Burger, French Fries, Coke; Scott - Bocaburger w/ BBQ Sauce, French Fries, Chocolate Shake; Mark - Classic Burger w/ Cheddar, French Fries, Iced Tea; Phil - Bacon Mushroom Swiss Burger, French Fries, Lemonade
• Well, it was time to leave Tucson. More importantly, it was time to quit my job. And my employers, swell guys that they are, decided to take the whole office out to celebrate. They didn't tell me about it for a while, but I eventually got them to invite me, too.
• They let me pick the place, so I picked a nice restaurant downtown. But that was too far, so I picked hot dogs at am/pm. But some people (everyone) didn't want to eat gas station hotdogs in a parking lot with me, so I picked a sushi place. But people didn't want to eat raw fish and nobody thought it through enough to realize you can get other things there, too, so I just picked Denny's. I had one Denny's left in Tucson to visit, so that worked out. Also, Denny's always has horrid service and even worse food, so it was a nice way to get back at everyone without anyone having a terribly valid reason to complain, since it technically fit all the criteria. Suckers.
• I've had problems with those jukeboxes in the past, but that didn't stop me. I put in a dollar and started picking my six songs. A lot of CDs were unavailable for some reason. Or maybe the machine just rejected my choices. So I had to pick a lot of Jimmy Buffet and Lynyrd Skynyrd and stuff. But after a while I noticed that, as I would pick each selection, the previous selection stopped playing and the new one cued up. I figured it would all sort out in the end. It didn't. Damnit. Scott showed up late and then went up to the jukebox himself. I let him. Ha ha.
• It took a LONG time to get our orders. Like, an hour. Not that it's not understandable, as there were a lot of us with no notice during lunch. But I looked up at the prep line after about forty minutes and saw that other waiters (and even our own) were pushing plates out of the way to get other plates. Not all of our orders were done, so they were just letting the rest sit up there until they were all ready. Which is the polite thing, I suppose, but some of them were up there for a LONG time. And then, after most (but not all) were up there getting overcooked in the warmer, our waiter looked through a big man-bag, got something, and apparently left the building. For a while.
• Justice.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing (unless you count the food for which my bosses paid)

Denny's #7326 Rapid City, South Dakota 30 September 2002 5:30pm MDT 2206 N. Lacrosse St. (605) 341-3151

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Jenn, Brionney
• What we ate: Nothing
• I'm in love with South Dakota. It's got a lot to offer. Mountains, badlands, Little House on the Prarie, Louis & Clark, etc etc. It's a damn fine state, and I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever.
• Most of what I liked about SD was the general feeling of it all, so you might not appreciate it as much as I did based on photos alone. I'd have more notes for you, but the tape I was using to dictate this part of the trip snapped when I was playing it back. For the best, really, because it was tedious as hell trying to find relevant and interesting information. Note to self: if you use a mini tape recorder in the future, don't babble so damn much. Focus, dude.
• The first thing we hit in The Ess Dee was Mount Rushmore and shortly after that we got to Denny's. New one. Shiny. The staff was surprisingly receptive for an afternoon shift. For some undetermined reason they had plastic footprints on the front door, and Jenn was kind enough to give us one. You go, Jenn! I'm not sure what Brionney did. Moral support, I guess.
• From Denny's it was to the Badlands, just outside of which was our stop for the night. We stayed in the middle of nowhere. Check that. The Interior of nowhere. Next morning it was more Badlands and then Wall Drug, where for a quarter you can make the rabbits dance. Dance, rabbits, dance!
• There was a lot more scenery, but the sort you just drive through and think, "oh this is nice," not the sort you take photographs of. Well, not the sort we took photos of, anyway.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Plastic Foot

Denny's #7351 Banning, California 19 October 2000 6:00pm PDT 6305 W. 5th St. (909) 845-2813

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Cecilia
• What we ate: P7A77 - Patty Melt, French Fries, Coke; Amie - Moons Over My Hammy, French Fries, Iced Tea
• Amie was getting cranky, so I knew it was time for food and a nap, and a chance to use that coupon! The Denny's was one of the original building designs, but with a mid-90s logo sign, and some chrome trim on the roof for the new Diner look. While waiting for our food, we attempted to map out how many Denny's we'd be visiting on our way through the LA area. It was going to be a long night.
• They were full into the dinner rush, but Cecilia was still happy to help me get something for free - a rare trait in the day shift, especially when they're busy. She went around looking for something but came up short, so she gave me the "suggest the feature of the day" pin off of her shirt! Yay! I guess they're not as strict here as they are in Blythe.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: "If I don't suggest the feature of the day, your meal is FREE!" pin

Denny's #7353 Beaumont, California 19 October 2000 6:50pm PDT 449 E. 4th St. (909) 845-1790

• Attendees: P7A77, Amie
• Wait-person(s): Tamica
• What we ate: nothing
• Mock me for leading a sheltered life, but it's rare that I ever actually see a phone booth. Usually I just see those little cubbies in front of 7-11 or something. So here are some phone booths at Denny's.
• After waiting around for quite a long time in the lobby (everyone kept passing me off to someone else, and the place was almost empty), I wasn't even able to get anything good for free. But they sure acted as if what they were giving me was the best damn thing ever.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: Take-Out Pie Box

Denny's #7393 Tempe, Arizona 02 February 2001 6:15pm MST 1815 E. Elliot Rd. (480) 730-1772

• Attendees: P7A77
• Wait-person(s): Douglas, Summer
• What we ate: nothing
• I had a really really cool shot of Die Geö with the Diner sign above it, but it suffered the same fate as the photo at Chandler, and I didn't feel like driving back into Summer's territory. But we'll get to that in a moment.
• I went in, noted to myself that the restaurant smelled like fish, started my usual bit to Douglas, and then stopped doing anything because Douglas walked away from me. As I was waiting for someone to return, a couple came in behind me, complained about the smell of smoke, stood around for a while, commented how the pies in the display case looked butt nasty, and left. Then Summer came out wearing pigtails and a puss. Since the pies drove out the other customers there was nothing else for Summer to do at the front counter, but she still was not in the mood to talk to me. She was just shaking her head the whole time, saying "no" before I could even finish asking the questions.
• So since the photo was lost, pictured is the author's artistic interpretation of the visit.
• WAY: No
• Free Stuff: nothing

Denny's #7414 Danville, California 28 May 2005 10:00am PDT 807 Camino Ramon (925) 820-8240

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder, Sonya
• Wait-person(s): Connie
• What we ate: P7A77: Ultimate Omelette, Wheat Toast; Adder: Country Scramble; Sonya: Moons Over My Hammy, Hashbrowns, Orange Juice
• I knew there was a Denny's here. Danville's not that big (not that I had been there before), and with a street name like "Camino Ramon", I figured it had to be a significant thoroughfare. Easy as keylime pie.
• Faithful readers will know the problems I've had with keylime pie. Turns out there are three Danville exits from the freeway. Whoops! We picked the second one. Drove around town. Drove around some more. Flagged down some random dude who quickly said he wasn't from around here and ran away. Kept on drivin' and after a while realized Danville was no longer the surroundings. Turned around, stopped at a gas station. The guy gave wonderfully clear and specific directions. How many lights, what lane to be in, other buildings in the vicinity, road conditions, weather reports, the whole works. As it turns out, all he really had to say was, "it's just over that bridge". We were, apparently, on the side of the tracks not favorable to Denny's.
• After a fair amount of civil disobedience we headed in. While we were waiting in the lobby, Sonya mentioned she needed to piddle. Restrooms are right there. "How will I find you?" Um, we'll be the very tall people that you recognize in this two-room Denny's. Off she went to urinate.
• There was good and bad about this Denny's visit. It's the same layout as the very first Denny's visited for the Project: good. They no longer offer Adder's favorite meal, the Southern Slam: bad. Sonya spilled catsup on herself: bad. Sonya loves catsup (really, you have no idea how much) and sucked on her shirt for hours afterwards: good. We were mere moments late to take advantage of the morning discount prices: bad. WE MET BATMAN: GOOD!
• Batman was making the streets safe in our general dining area throughout our meal. For the most part he seemed to be fighting Catwoman. Hard to tell, she was out of uniform. It could have been his sister. They were sparring pretty well. I certainly felt a lot safer with him around. When I asked to take his photo, he removed his mask! His father... er, I mean, "Alfred" had a slip of the tongue and told us that he was Bruce Wayne now. Secret identity, revealed! Thankfully I'm not a bad guy, otherwise I'd have to either die or go insane to protect this information. So don't tell anyone or I could get in trouble.
• As is usually the case with daytime shifts, they're slow as hell up front until I get up and want to scam 'em for free stuff. Then they get slammed and I feel like an ass pestering them. After a while of standing around waiting for a free moment, I decided my brush with the Caped Crusader was enough for me for that visit.
• WAY: Undetermined
• Free Stuff: Action Hero Sighting

Denny's #7415 Pleasanton, California 28 May 2005 11:15am PDT 6455 Owens Dr. (925) 463-0720

• Attendees: P7A77, Adder
• Wait-person(s): Laura
• What we ate: nothing
• More lie UNpleasanton. Am I right? Am I right? Work with me here, people.
• They wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. One guy, as I was attempting conversation, simply walked away without a word. Maybe I should stop wearing my Denny's shirts when I visit Denny's. It could make me seem like a crazy obsessed drooling fanboi type. And that's just silly. Heh. Heh. Urm.
• I'm sure by now you've put the pieces together. You know I live in O-Town, and you can see I went from Danville to Pleasanton. You're probably jumping up and down with excitement at what's coming next. Well, stop jumping because you're scaring the cat. Yes, that's right, we were off to visit the Centennial Bulb in Livermore.
• For the few of you who maybe haven't been paying attention for the past one hundred four years, I'll fill you in. The Centennial Bulb is a light bulb first put to use by the fire department in 1901. It now burning as brightly as a single-digit watt bulb can burn in Fire Station #6 in Livermore. Yes, it still works. Don't believe me? Check for yourself you negative nellies.
• Now that you've been effectively humbled, I'll relay a bit of our adventure. Ready? Here it comes. We walked in, asked if we could look at the light bulb, and took photos. I get a tingle just thinking about it. Fireman Rod was kind enough to tell us a bit about the bulb and answer the same questions he hears all the time. Such as, "Do you get worried it will spike and burst after a power outage?" "We're a fire station and protected on the grid." "Oh yeah." Seems they like to play basketball in there sometimes. Basketball. In a room with very bouncy walls and floors. Next to an extremely fragile piece of modern history and the biggest draw to Livermore since whatever the hell it was they had there before 1901. The biggest draw to Livermore since they were sitting the dark waiting for electricity, that's what it is. And they casually throw things at it. Next month they're having shotgun target practice in there.
• WAY: undetermined
• Free Stuff: nothing